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Two Weeks In

May10

As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, I started Weight Watchers. I will admit that I have always said that I was not one to count points and it wasn’t for me…….

I was wrong.

Maybe back in the day when you had to do all the counting and calculating. That is no more. It couldn’t be any easier to use. There is a recipe calculator. You can scan bar codes. A “what to eat” tab with featured recipes and lists of all the zero point foods.

Honestly with all the zero point foods, you can eat and eat and not feel deprived. It does require a little planning, but we all know it is the mindless grabbing of food that is the problem for many of us as is processed foods. The one consideration is that it definitely more costly to eat fresh, but that is not weight watchers fault. It is sad commentary that a bag of potato chips is cheaper than a container of strawberries……. But I digress.

Anywho….

I’ve been consistently tracking. I’ve been managing my points. One thing that I do like is that besides daily points, you get what they call weekly points to use anyway you want during your week. These points also increase as does your activity. I didn’t understand that at first, but now use them.

I also am not depriving myself. This week was teacher appreciation week that brought goodies and I also went into NYC for a Hypopara study visit (more on that in separate post later). I ate what I wanted to eat, but maybe pregaming pizza lunch with a zero point salad. Then having only one slice of pizza instead of two. It is about thinking about the food you eat.

This was all only 2 points and that was for the feta cheese.

One thing that tracking made me think about is the number of calories that I drink. While I by no means will be giving up my coffee, I realized that for some reason using agave in my coffee was more points than regular sugar. I then realized switching to monk fruit sweetener was even better. Also had to rethink my morning smoothie which while always healthy needed to be adjusted.

So I will continue to do weekly updates with the good and the bad as I did sign up for the next several months. My first goal is 15 pounds. Ultimately I would like to loose a total of 30 pounds. Time will tell.

Currently I am heading in the right direction. Down 4.2 pounds. This feels like not so much a diet as a reset and shift in eating habits. It is about being the healthiest version of myself which the added weight has not been helping.

Stay tuned.

Jan26

Some might say that I have been doing this for a long time without reaching some of my goals.

Maybe that’s true.

Maybe it’s not.

My goals have changed along the way. My thoughts of what is necessary has changed. What and where I want to be has changed. I know my body has changed and what it can do too. Always moving forward though. Maybe no longer reaching for that golden ring, but happy with the consolation prize. Bobbing and weaving, even when the finish line keeps moving.

So maybe it’s not about reaching the goal, but continuing to reach for it without giving up.

Tomorrow starts my 16 week training plan for the Brooklyn Half. As of now I do not have a goal for the race other than to run it well. To me that will mean to go into this event trained by following my training plan. To continue with the cross training to hopefully also go into this race injury free.

At the 8 week mark, I will access where I am with my training and adjust training for the goal.

So here we go……

Last time I ran Brooklyn in 2015, I ran it in 2:14:47. That’s not happening or anything even close to that. That being said, my last half was 2:59:18. So, honestly, I am starting my training with 3 hours in mind.

Never giving up…. Never baking down…. Still moving….

What more can I ask for?

Made it

Jan11

Yesterday was National Quitter’s Day. The day most of us quit our New Year’s resolutions. Since I didn’t make any resolutions and started on December 30th, I’m still going strong. As said previously, it is all about progress not perfection. It is all about being healthier.

It’s funny too because I’ve actually been enjoying eating healthier. It has been making me think about my food choices which has been more satisfying than just grabbing things without thought. I’ve been taking salads for most of my lunches and they have been so good.

Love this container too!

For snacks, I’ve forgotten how much I enjoy cottage cheese with fresh fruit. I’ve also had to rethink drinking my calories. More water even though that was usually my drink of choice. It also helps that for Christmas that I got a Nutribullet.

I think I mentioned the app Reverse Health. I have now completed 11 days of my 30 day challenge. I am starting from the beginning which is where I am at. While I can go out and run pretty much any day, my overall fitness has not been tended to. So back to basics.

So far so good.

I’ve already noticed changes. My lower back pain has improved as have my flexibility in my hips which were very tight. These are the things that I need to work on. I am also working on my running. Today I ran three miles doing some fartleks. No particular speed, just to test and see how I would feel.

On top of that I have lost almost 3 pounds which is also part of the agenda. But slow and steady is the goal.

Progress not perfection.

On top of this, I also through the lottery got into the NYC Brooklyn Half which is in May. So all that I’m doing now is the pre-training for the Half.

Setting Goals

Jan2

Yes it is that time of year for goal setting. That being said, I would be doing all this if it was June. I am ready. So here we are……. One week in.

What a difference a week makes.

  1. Working on my diet. Healthy smoothies in the morning. More water. More salads. Less processed foods. It’s a work in progress with progress being the key word. Small changes that can be sustained.
  2. Downloaded a 12 week wall pilates program on an app (Reverse Health). For the $30 fee, I feel like it will be worth it. My goal is to carve the 20 minutes out a day. So far. So good, but its been 3 days:)
  3. Started doing some running again. Even ran a New Years Day 5K with friends. This lead me to another goal…. In June there is a Downtown Run into Summer 5K. MY GOAL NOW IS TO RUN THIS RACE WELL….whatever that means. Not time, but the way I feel. Although to be honest I would like to run it in under 35 minutes. I ran the Bethlehem Running Festival 5K in 40.17. So I think while a reach/stretch goal, it is not a crazy goal.

I have been reading a GREAT book by a running coach that I was very lucky to work with. The book is Running Past 50, Your Guide to Running Longevity and Success by Caolan MacMahon. (You can find it on Amazon and I highly recommend it). This book has been motivating me…..for me because I am lucky enough to know Caolan and have worked with her it really hits home. She was my running coach who got me through 2 marathons, a 50K and my one and only sub 2 half marathon. She is an amazing coach and her book speaks the truths coach’s need to say to thir athletes.

The below passage really spoke to me and I hear the truth of her words….

“But it takes time and willingness to develop a habit, which will also include breaking a habit. Habits can, of course, be “good” or “bad.” In this case, you want to develop a good habit, running , while breaking a bad habit, inactivity.”

This paragraph goes on with more information and really spoke to me. So much so that I have it bookmarked.

I have developed bad habits. Not just eating more processed and sugary foods than I should, but coming home from work and immediately sitting on the couch with my dog and a coffee. While this isn’t a bad thing, the timing is a bad habit because once your on the coach it is harder to motivate to do what needs to be done. So what I’ve been trying to do is inside of doing this to go for a walk after work or as in today do my wall pilates which today focused on abs.

So here is to making better choices in the new year. Here is to making healthy habits while replacing the bad ones.

Since this post is long enough, I will explain later how I plan to hold myself accountable.

Happy New Year!

Balance not Perfection

Dec30

I’ve been overweight for years now. I’ve talked about it before. The difference is that before the weight did not effect my life. My doctor never was concerned about it as it was consistent. At the time my high BMI was just that a high BMI. All my other numbers were good. There was no effect on my health.

I was what you would call a healthy fat.

My doctor even would comment that she was not concerned. Although being a doctor she would comment on the BMI, but then just shrug her shoulders.

This last appointment was different. I have now entered into the “unhealthy” fat stage. My cholesterol did lower, but part of that was my good cholesterol going down. She was also concerned about some other liver numbers, so she sent me for a liver ultrasound which backed up her thought of a fatty liver and she is concerned due to family history that I could also become diabetic. The ultrasound also found that I have gallstones.

This was my wake up call. That and the fact that I also gained another 15 pounds. I’ve also been experiencing more aches and pains. Lastly I realized that while my cardio is strong and I can go out to run pretty much without thought, I have lost flexibility and strength.

Time to change the game.

I admit the liver thing has been a wake up call. I’ve already started setting myself up for some success with healthier

Yes that is a cinnamon roll! I am going for balance not perfection!

So this is my goal. I am putting my health first. I even got a 2025 planner. My goal is to to add workouts (not just running) into it. With work and my night class starting mid January, I can’t just let things go unplanned. When I’ve done that the thing that without fail that always gets put last is workouts.

So here is to a healthier happy New Year. My initial goal is 15 pounds which will take me to where I was last year. From there we will see where things go.

What are your goals?

Check

Oct22

It is not an exaggeration to say I was at my peak as a runner in 2016 before my surgery. I had only started running in 2013 with the couch to 5K. By 2106 I was on my 3rd marathon chasing a sub 4 marathon and even ran a 50K. I felt unstoppable. I was working with my running coach who helped me meet many goals even a sub 2 half marathon. I was even 25 pounds lighter.

I timed my thyroid surgery around running the 2016 NYC Marathon.. At this point we all know what happened so no need to rehash. (Search posts to see how crashed & burned). I even ran the Runners World Hat trick as training for NY.

Here is the thing though while I’ve never let my Hypopara stop me, sometime it beat me. In 2017, I signed up for at the time the Runner’s World Bethlehem Festival quadruple play. I ran the trail. I ran like I didn’t have Hypopara. I finished the trail race and called it a weekend. I just didn’t have it in me to run the rest of the weekend. It beat me. This was my first DNS (did not start) for the other races.

I admit that I wasn’t trained enough to even think of running 4 races. Hypopara was still to new to me. I didn’t fully understand it and how it affected my body. It took me years and I’m still learning as it is always different, but I’ve learned.

I always figured that I would go back, but then the event was cancelled. Then a few years later, they brought it back as the Bethlehem Running Festival. This is why this past race weekend was so important.

It wasn’t about the bling….. which is very nice.

It wasn’t about feeling like a badass….which I kinda do now

It wasn’t about anything….

It was about proving that I could do this… even with hypopara.

I can’t explain why this event was important for me to finish, but it was.

Next:)

Getting Back on the Horse

Sep8

Today’s run was definitely a mental one. Yes, it was physical because I was going for between 8-9 miles; but I was in my head a lot before lacing up.

Every run is a mental run from the procrastinating to the lacing up and getting out the door. There are so many reasons not to run. There are so many reasons to push yourself to get out and run too.

I needed to get out of my head today. I needed to remind myself that I can do this. I would be lying if I didn’t say that last week scared the crap out of me. I would be lying if it didn’t cross my mind to stop pushing so hard, to stay home and just say I’m throwing in the towel. While on my Hypopara journey, I have had tetany before. I have had muscle spasms. I have had the tingles, the brain fog, and been symptomatic. The difference is that I always felt like I still was in control as these symptoms were more annoying than anything else.

I won’t go into again, but last week’s calcium crash was bad. It scared me. It stopped me in my tracks. It reminded me that this is more than just annoying. This is real and needs to be taken seriously. I liked to pretend that it wasn’t and wouldn’t stop me. Honestly, I’ve been more worried about my kidney health than the actual Hypopara symptoms. I realized that I needed to take BOTH as seriously as I should.

This week was a stressful week at work. It was also the first week without summer hours. No longer leaving at 3, but 1. Doesn’t sound like a lot, but for those who don’t know I am also a childcare teacher. This means I am on my feet and really in constant motion both mentally and physically all day.

I wanted to run this week, but I didn’t. I could tell that I wasn’t ready. Yesterday I just didn’t have the energy. I had stayed up too late baking a cake. Oh yeah, I’m also a home baker. So yesterday I didn’t run.

This morning no excuses…. Except I was nervous. I prepared for my run giving myself an half an hour for morning meds to kick in. I filled my water bottles. I have the Fitletic running belt. So I filled 2 with water and one with electrolytes. I then put into the belt some kind nut bars, extra meds, and off I went. I also put back on my running Id that has contact info and also a “Hypoparthyroidism check calcium.” I had gotten a new band and never put it back on. I got complacent.

I started off running streets close to home making grids for the first three miles. I stayed close to home for the remainder of the run too. Not going too far out which sometimes I do for a longer run. Today was about keeping a comfortable pace. Walking when needing to, but not just because I want to. It was about listening to my body. At around 5 miles, I added some full in the form of some of the kind bar. At around 6.5 miles, I took 250 of calcium. Half of my normal afternoon dose. Then just kept moving.

I finished. I got to 8.5. At the end of the run I was thinking of doing a few streets to get to 9, but I figured this was enough……. And it was!

Mentally my head is back in the game. Mentally I know that I can do this but have to be smarter.

Bringing My A Game

Mar19

When I worked with a running coach a few years ago, she always had me come up with 3 goals prior to an event.

A Goal – A goal within reach, but one that you need to work for

B Goal – A doable goal

C Goal – What is the minimum that you will be happy with.

So for the NYC Half, I kept these goals to myself. I knew going into my training that I really would like to run the half in under 3 hours. While training, I did not train for this goal so much as realize that this was within reach if I pushed just enough. I mostly trained by feel and heart rate. I made sure to do my training runs at a push and my long runs slower than I felt I could push. I always wanted to finish a training run like I could do more if needed. I usually did too.

One thing that I was very conscious of during my training is that I did not want to add extra calcium. What I tried to do was to time my daily calcium in a way to incorporate into my runs.

It has taken me some time since my surgery to get to this point, but I finally finally finally came to the mindset of………. I want to run, but I need to run smart. All the time. I can not push the pace to the point where I need to add more calcium. While it temporarily will feel right, long term it is not for me.

Since my surgery, I have been fighting high urine calcium levels. At it’s highest it was 578. (For those not Hypopara and unfamiliar anything over 250 is high. For Hypopara, your doctors try to keep it in around 300)……. Now it was at the highest, when I was taking .5 calcitriol twice a day with calcium through out the day. I also took extra calcium to run runs the way that pushed my body. My levels have come down, but even with being careful they are steadily going back up. I am currently at levels over 350.

So what does this mean…… basically these higher levels are hard on my kidney’s. I am lucky that currently I have had no kidney issues; BUT I say this as my kidney functions have moderate loss of function. Not enough that I would notice, but until a PTH (Parathyroid Hormone that regulates calcium & phosphate in body) I will need to continue to take medication to regulate. These help me function like a normal person but also are hard on the kidneys. I am not willing to push my kidneys to the limit to run a pace that matters to no one.

Seriously, who cares about my pace?

For a while after my surgery, I did. I wanted to maintain where I was prior to surgery. I wanted to pretend that the surgery and Hypopara didn’t change me, but the truth of the matter it did. It was also about pride. I wanted to run the paces that I could. No lie, I did enjoy pushing myself. Running a Sub 2 half (prior to surgery). Running 9 minute paces. Being a front of the middle runner.

Guess what?

I am no longer a mid pack runner. I am a back of the pack runner. I am starting in the last wave and in some cases the last corral.

Here is what I’ve come to realize though……

I am starting. I am running…… I am still me. Sometimes you have to swallow your pride. Put it aside and know that it only matters to you. When I was able to put pride aside, I was able to train where I am and not where I wanted to be. I was able to train smart. To listen to my body. To run smarter and not harder. By doing that, I was able to actually do what I wanted to do.

I put pride aside. I made a realistic goal. If I hadn’t made it, I would have been ok. But the fact that I made it shows that I am doing what I need to do. Most of all, I did it by working smarter and not harder.

So what does this mean….

This means more running in my future. I even signed up for a fall race. One that I did previously. The Hat Trick. A 5k & 10K on a Saturday followed by a half on Sunday.

Crazy?

Yes.

Exciting?

You bet…. Can’t wait.

Stay tuned because believe it or not, there is more to talk about regarding the NYC Half. Although this is enough for today.

Just Put on the Shoes

Jul23

Giving up is a choice.

Starting is a choice.

Waiting, ignoring and waiting some more to start is also a choice.

I feel like I am always waiting for the shoe to drop. Waiting. Wondering. When is it going to drop and what will happen when it does.

Here is the thing. What if I stop waiting for the shoe to drop and put them on and just run with it.

Easier said than done, but I’m trying.

What you do when no one is watching is more important than when you have an audience. (I know that is pretty funny being as I’m writing this for my blog, but there are only a handful of you who read. So I’m good:) )

Here is the thing…. Everyone is doing their own thing. Focused on their own goals, dreams, and trying to figure out their own path. No two paths are ever the same even if they are parallel. Everyone also has a reason for where they are on their path.

For me….. (I know broken record)……. I was in a good place right before my thyroid surgery and becoming Hypopara. I was running the fastest I’ve run (the whole sub 2 NYC Half). I was at a good weight. I was also running longest distances with not just a marathon but completing my one and so far only 50k. Things were good. Right up until they weren’t.

Isn’t that the same for everyone though. No one knows what will happen in their lives. No one can predict with certainty where they will be, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t still decide where they want to go. I forgot that……

I’ve given up on having control thinking that my weight, my running, my everything was out of my control due to Hypopara, age and metabolism. Treding water just thinking that was all I could do. Silently struggling and not even knowing I was taking on water?

Often you don’t realize how much you have been struggling until you get to the side and hold on, looking back and thinking about the struggle. We live in a society where strength is revered. Being a Bad Ass is a complement. We are told to power through and push through. Never being told that we need and should take a moment to breathe.

It is only when we exhale, can we see how much we needed the air.

So here I am on the exhale realizing that I’ve been waiting for change to happen…… Yes, I’ve met with nutritionists, I’ve gone through motions,, I’ve complained, I’ve lamented, I’ve waited and waited and waited…… I’m not sure what I was waiting for, but think I finally realized what I was waiting for……….

I was waiting for me.

I was waiting for me to be sick and tired of making excuses even if they are valid. I was waiting to get the fire back that I was trying to force myself to have. I was waiting to decide that I’m not just going through the motions, but that I want to do them. I was waiting to decide that I am ready to set goals and actually stick to them. I was waiting to exhale.

So here I am setting concrete goals, working toward them and realizing that I will be doing them because I actually want to and not because I feel like I need to. My first event was almost 10 years ago. I had fire. I had drive and I had will and it was all internal.

I am there again.

Stay tuned……

Coming Up For Air

Jul20

We all go through life like tomorrow is a given. Like we can, should, and will put off things for another day…. Another week… another month.

We will meet with friends as soon as our crazy, busy schedule allows.

We will wear the good dress, outfit, shoes on just the right occasion, but that occasion isn’t today.

I won’t blog today because what I want to say isn’t interesting enough

We will put off till tomorrow all of our hopes and our dreams.

We act like tomorrow is a promise not a gift.

It isn’t.

Maybe it’s human nature to feel that way because if we didn’t we would drown in our emotions and become incapacitated .

And there is truth in that. You have to believe in tomorrow to get through today. You have to know that tomorrow is another day to try again….. to dream again…. To begin again.

That being said, we must also realize that the beauty in life is not the chores we feel we must complete….. not how clean our house is (harsh truth – mine is a train wreck)……. Not all the million little things we fill our day with.

What is important is the connections we make. The people we share it with.

Often everyone puts off the really important things for things that our unimportant. You know the whole keeping up with the Joneses mentality. But unless your name is Jones, who really cares?

We live in a world where perfection is the norm.   Everyone wants a cookie cutter yard.   Wanting to conform to societies expectations……. but what if we just stopped?

What if we decided instead of being like everyone else that we would just be the best version of ourselves?   Flaws and all.   

And how about instead of looking at them as flaws, we look at them as just part of who we are?    

It is the whole let me get in shape,, so that I can start going to the gym. I need to start running, so I can start running with friends. Fear of failure or not being good enough is not an excuse because who says you aren’t good enough. Certianly no one in your tribe who cares for you would. They will also meet you at your pace:)

Here is the thing too…..

Haters are going to Hate.

Jerks are always going to be jerks.

Bitches are always going to bitch and have something to say.

People who will talk smack behind your back are not your tribe. Your tribe are the ones who come to offer you a hand when you fall down. (Then they will make a joke to your face about it). Most of all, you have to be your own tribe leader.

So choose your tribe wisely, but more importantly know that life is not a competition…… not with others. Not with yourself……

As they say……

So wear the dress, put on the shoes (especially the running shoes) and just enjoy:)