Tag Archive | exercise

Stepping Out of Fear

Often we live in fear and don’t even realize it. We wait for the shoe to drop. We expect the worst. We don’t even realize that it is there, because it almost becomes part of us. What fear does most though is the way it holds us back. We think, if I do this then X will happen. I can’t do this because Y will happen. So then nothing happens. We stand still and fear wins even if we don’t recognize it as what it is.

I have been letting fear hold me back. Now, don’t get me wrong….. there is a HUGE difference between being responsible, smart and listening to experts advice. There is also something to be said for not going in all willy nilly and not taking facts into consideration.


I have Hypoparthyroidism

I need to balance keeping my serum calcium levels in check while keeping my urine levels in check. (Yes, it is harder than it sounds)

Currently, running longer distances requires more calcium supplements which raises urine calcium levels. As does running faster paces.

I am currently under the care of a Endocrinologist whom not only do I feel, but 100% know understands this crazy disorder.

I am very lucky!

So with all of these hard and true facts, there is also some truth that needs to be faced. Due to fear of pushing my body too hard, I realized that I have not been pushing it enough. There are also some extenuating circumstances.


There are only so many hours in the day and I have been burning the bridge at both ends….. between work, taking classes for CDA (Child Development Associate), my home baking business, my home, and trying to have a life; I have not been pushing myself to follow a routine.

But there is light at the tunnel. I have completed all my CDA classes, had the required evaluation and preparing to take the state test next month. I am also looking forward to only working 3 mornings a week over the summer and I realize I set the schedule for my home baking business.

Yesterday, I continued my goal of running one event a month. I haven’t been running or training as mentioned above. Yet, I ended up running (walking some) and finishing well.

As my friend said who I ran with (slightly paraphrasing) …….. You don’t run or train, yet you pull running a 5K out of your ass like you did the 10K in January. So shut up.

So with that….. I will not shut up because you know I can’t. What I will do though is stop letting the fear of failure, the fear of not being where I think I should be therefor keeping me from where I could go, and the fear of what if’s from keeping me from what I can do.

What I can do is face each day with hope, the knowledge that it will be what it will be and there are no guarantees.

Back to Basics

Often when starting out, we pick up where we left off. If we were a runner, we go out for a longer run than we should. If we were a yogi, we don’t go to the beginner yoga class. If we were a gym rat, we pick up the heavier weights. Very rarely do we go back to the beginning…… or is that just me?????

Please tell me it’s not just me??????

So here’s the thing, stepping back to “shorter” distances in running has me going back to the basics with my running. I am thinking about form. I am thinking about control of my pace. I’m thinking about speed workouts. The basics.

I have also been thinking about my cross training. Back in the day, I 3 was a champion cross trainer. I did classes. I rode my bike. I was a 3-4 day a week crossfiter. I was a badass.

Here’s the thing…… I am still a badass. I am just a different level badass. What makes me a badass is not the amount of weight I’m lifting, how fast I’m running, or any of those things. It is that I consistently (mostly) show up. That I keep plugging away. Bobbing and weaving and just keep going. That being said, I realized that just like my running; I need to step back.

I’ve been doing the Fiton classes which I really enjoy. I’ve been using weights and machines in my home gym. I’ve been doing all these things trying to push myself into a level that I am not at or comfortable sustaining. This makes it easier to stop showing up, because I’m showing up to a party I am not properly dressed for. So I’m stepping back and getting ready for the party. Just like when I started this fitness journey back in 2014 or so I didn’t start with Crossfit, I need to start with the basics.

This is not a step back. It is reality. It is meeting my body where it is and not where I want it to be, think it should be, or pretend it is. Reality isn’t always what we want, but if you pretend it is something else often you will give up and never really move forward. So how am I going back to the basics? Just like it sounds…… I am starting from the beginning.

I am doing beginner workouts on Fiton. I am not trying to be more than what I am. I am rebuilding. I am putting the weights down and starting from scratch doing body weight workouts. I am doing knee pushups, low impact. I am being smart. I will add these things as my body regains strength, endurance and in a way that builds up to it.

In doing this I have found that I am being more consistent. I am recognizing that I can push myself with where I am now and eventually by doing so I will get to where I want to be. You can’t get to your destination if you always trying to start at the finish line.

So here I am, back to where I was when I first started this blog. The beginning. Although with the hypopara, weighing more than I did back then, and now being several years older I might be starting even further back…….. That’s ok though because I know where I want to go, have a plan how to get there and am not giving up which is half the battle.

It’s once again….. Go time.

Cheers to getting back to the basics!

Friday Five – Favorite Indoor Workouts

Friday Five link-up hosted by Eat, Pray, Run DC,   Mar on the Run, and You Signed Up for What?

Today’s topic

Five Favorite Indoor Workouts

Now, you know I’ve been struggling to come up with my routine.   I think I’m getting there and these are the five that will stay in the mix.

Bikram Hot Yoga


Love, Love, Love it!   I’m not sure that I would love the Yoga without the heat.   I guess that is how you know that I am not a true Yogi which is something that I never claimed to be.   I am actually not very flexible at all either.   I’m hoping that will come with time as I can’t do many of the poses properly, but it doesn’t stop me from trying.   One day I may even be able to do Dhanurasana (#19)   Maybe the same day that  I can pronounce it, I will also be able to reach my ankles.


This is on my list of things to get back to on my rest days from running.   It is low impact, but still an amazing workout.   Plus since one of my goals is to have a better swim time in my September Triathlon, I really need to get going.   I want to get comfortable enough in my swim that when I do go out in the bay, I don’t have my normal panic attack and end up doing the backstroke.   Although I’m not sure swim class will help with that as it is more a panic attack from not being in the pool.

Strength Training

As you know, I’ve made the decision to cut Crossfit out of my routine.  It was a hard decision that I still wonder if it was the right one.  But as much as I love it, it doesn’t go with my goals for the year.   That being said, I am not giving up on weight training as I really think it was good for my running too.   All studies show how beneficial it is to women for not just their weight, but the bone density and many other things.   So don’t be afraid to pick up a weight.

Here is me doing my favorite lift  – The Deadlift


Spin Classes

I couldn’t just get on a bike inside and ride.   If I did, I would go at a leisure pace and not push myself.   Therefore, Spin Classes are perfect.   Great low impact workout for the legs.   There is also some talk that it is  great cross-training for runners.   I can believe it as it is all legs!   You are going full throttle building leg muscles but non of the impact of a run.   Plus with the way you push up the “hills” in class it is a great interval training.

Must remember to take more spin classes.

Kettle Bell Workout

If you don’t have a kettle bell, get one.   It’s something that doesn’t take up a lot of room in your house.   You can leave it sit in the corner of your closet or in my case, my workout stuff corner.   Don’t have time for a full workout?   Want to add something extra on a short run day?   There are so many things that you can do with it to target so many different muscles.     Can you tell I love mine?   I need to use it more as it really does pack a punch.   Don’t believe me.   Then just give it a try.

I guess it is good that I’ve thought about all of these great indoor things that I should be doing more of because we are entering a really, really, really cold front.   Plus my YMCA catalog just came.   So I think it is time to add some of these things back into my routine.

What is your favorite indoor workout?

Is it Really Just a Number? Why, yes. Yes it is!

I bought new clothes today.   I bought them because I needed too.   As the season is changing, I realize that my wardrobe is not up to snuff.   The reason being is that things that fit me last year don’t fit me as well this year.   Luckily it’s because somehow they have gotten bigger not me.   Besides having a “justifiable” reason to go shopping is always a good thing.

Now, I am by no means tooting my own horn.

Toot. Toot.

I will say that I often get asked not if I’ve lost weight, but how much weight have I lost.   I’m not sure if people are just saying that because they know how hard I’ve been working or if they really think I’ve lost weight.   Now if I lost a lot of weight this question would make me feel great, but the truth of the matter is that I really don’t like this question and here is the reason why.   Since I’ve started my journey (and it’s been one), I have only lost 5 pounds.   Yup, you heard that.   When I started, I weighed 1X5 and now I weight 1X0 (Did you really think I was going to give you the number?   Silly people).   So when I am asked the question “How much weight did you loose,”   it just reminds me that I haven’t really lost much.   It used to make me sad, but I embrace it now.    So now, when asked I reply, “only 5 pounds, but the rest shifted and I’ve gained more muscle.”

I am not exaggerating either.   I may have only lost 5 pounds, but I have gone down  3 jean sizes.   Yup, you heard me.   I went from double digits down to single digits.

Exhibit A


September 2013


This picture was taken at my first Sprint Triathlon before I was really bitten by the bug.

The I like running bug.

I am number 708.

So as to create a true before and after picture,

I give you

Exhibit B

Same outfit, same event one year later

September 2014


Iron Girl

Now I would like to first of all say there are very few people who can pull off a Two Piece Tri-suit.   I am, obviously, not one of them either before or after.   I share these though to prove that the scale really doesn’t matter.   What matters is how you feel, how your clothes fit, and how muscular you are.   Patting myself on the back, I will admit that my arms are more toned now.   My legs are more muscular too.

Exhibit A


Now, please don’t get me wrong I know I’m still a work in progress.

I see the love handles and the pouch.

But sometimes you have to look back to see how far you’ve come.

I will also tell you that when I first started that I obsessively weighed myself.

I very rarely get on the scale now.

I encourage you not to get on yours either.

(unless your doctor thinks you should).

To me the scale doesn’t tell the full story.

It doesn’t tell anything at all.

Except a number.

It doesn’t take into account percentage of body fat vs muscle.

It doesn’t take into account my cardiovascular health.

It doesn’t take into account, how much weight I can clean at the gym.

It doesn’t take into account how many miles I can run.

It’s just a number.

It no longer defines me.

Don’t let yours define you.

Can you step away from the scale?

Going Rogue

Once upon a brief, brief, brief time I was a size 6.    For the most part as adult, I have been a size 8.   Then I had children.    Between Middle and Little Guy, I did get back down to my 8.   It didn’t last because it seemed like once I had Little Guy all bets were off.   I’ve just never gotten back down.

I have my reasons

1.   No willpower

2.   I love chocolate

3.  No willpower

4.   I love to Bake

5.   I love to eat what I bake

6.   I have no willpower

7.   I hate to exercise. 


I think you see my dilema.   Now the thing is I really would love to go down in size again.   Now for those who came over from my old blog, I don’t mean to whine again.   I’m really not.    I think that I may actually do something about it this time. 

Dear Hubby has willpower.   Lots and lots of it.   He is also a man, so his metabolism didn’t stop when he hit his 40’s.    It happens.   I does.   Now I’m not using that as my excuse, I’m just being honest.    Anyway, I digress.    With Dear Hubby’s willpower and super fast metabolism, he has lost about 20 pounds.   I am super proud and happy for him.    To be honest, I may be a tad jealous, but I am still very pleased as Dear Hubby has high cholesterol and blood pressure.   So, this is very good for him:)

Anywho….. I’ve been thinking.    Don’t be shocked.   I might actually join a gym.   I think Curves might be my style.    I’m going to go check it out today.    I’ve tried (really, really, I have) running at home on the treadmill.    I’ve tried (really, really, really) to work out with things on the TV.   They just don’t seem to work for me.   I think that I need to actually go somewhere.    So, I’m going to go talk to them today.    Wish me luck!

I’m going to try a different diet approach too.   I am not going to do the South Beach like last time even though it worked for me before.   I’m going to try just to do things in moderation.   Have more salad.   Eat more fruits.   And just be more healthy with my eating choices.   If I do actually work out, this might help


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