Yesterday I set out for a run. I didn’t want to really go. There really was no reason to go. Except that I both needed to get some exercise and I wanted to clear my mind. The run was so much harder than it should have been. Mentally challenging which made it physically challenging. I wanted to pack it in before I even started. I wondered what the point of it all was anyway.
The news of the day, the week, and it seems like the year was weighing on me. Thinking about the rising number of deaths from Coronavirus. Thinking about the families of those who lost loved ones, but couldn’t be with them at the end and can’t mourn together. Thinking about all the health care providers, support staff and police literally putting their lives on the line for strangers. Thinking about how many people still are not paying attention or taking things seriously. Worrying about my family both near and far. Thinking… Thinking… Thinking.
I admit that this run and the day was harder because of the despair. Wondering what the point of going for a run was with all that is happening in the world. It’s easy to let the despair and worry creep in. To let it envelop you. Wrapping around like a warm comfy blanket holding you down. It’s easy to let it make you think there is no point to it all.
It’s so easy to allow yourself to fall into the darkness if your not paying attention. Sometimes even when your paying attention, you have to hold on with all you have to keep yourself from slipping into despair and anxiety. To know that it’s not comfort that it gives you, but a lie holding you still. Pushing back against it knowing that no matter how dark things may seem, there is always hope.
Hope is the one truth that you must hold on to.
Hope will see you through.
Hope will get you to the other side.
As I was battling all these thoughts yesterday, I came across these balloons. They were just what I needed it and I’m sure other people needed as they went by. Some might have driven by and just saw balloons. Not me. I saw the hope they represented.
When times are tough…. And they are right now and will be in the near future, there is always hope. There is always good even if you have to remind yourself of it. Right now the world is a scary place. There is lots to be upset and angry about, but there is also much to be in awe about and celebrated.
There are people singing from their balconies in Italy.
There are doctors and nurses whose secret capes are no longer a secret.
People are taking care of each other.
People are making balloon sculptors in their yard
The list goes on and on and on.
Yes, we need to pay attention to the bad so that we can do what is necessary but we do not need to change us. Something I’m working on.
I finished my run yesterday. In the whole scheme of things, it would not be considered a good run; but it was a run of will. It was a battle but a battle that I won. As I was running yesterday, I kept thinking what is the point? What does it even matter? Why?
That is the wrong way to look at it.
I run because I can…… because I want to……. because it is part of me…….. I am a runner.
No matter what is going on in the world, I can not let the world change who I am and what I do. The point of living is living to the fullest. To make the most of it and do the things that you enjoy doing when you can. It is worth it, because it is something I love. It matters because if you give up the things you enjoy than the darkness wins. Why? Because I can.
The world is a scary place right now. No doubt about that. That is all the more reason to grab the bull by the horns and live life to the fullest.
Don’t give in to the despair.
Shine even brighter because of it.
Don’t let the world change you.
Change the world.
Don’t ask Why?
Ask Why not!