All or Nothing

Why do we think it has to be all or nothing?

Why do we think that we have to go all in?

Why is balance so hard?

I admit that I have a problem with balance. It might be one of the things that works in my favor when it comes to getting shit done. It also might be one of the things that works against me when it comes to getting shit done. The all or nothing approach comes at a cost.

We can’t start eating healthy because it’s just to hard to give everything up.

We can’t start working out because we don’t have time to commit

We can’t because of this or that or this or that……

But what if instead of thinking we have to commit 110% percent…… What if we just realized that just doing something is better than doing nothing.

What if instead of going gang busters on a new diet plan that we know long term we won’t stick to, we decide that we look at where and how we can make even what might appear to be small changes?

What if instead of waking up at 5:00 AM (you know I’m never doing that) to squeeze in our workout/run in, we just look at what we can do and give that time..

What if instead of thinking that we need to run as fast as we can for what we deem is necessary distance, we just decide to give what we are able to give.

What if instead of sitting on the couch binging Yellowstone (highly recommend), we do it from the treadmill or stationary bike?

There are ways to make what might appear to be small changes….. some might even say insignificant changes……. in a way that are not only sustainable but together can bring big change.

Here is the bottom line…… If you continue to do the same thing, nothing changes. If you start with small changes over time, they will lead to big changes.

So start where you are!

Do what you can!

Most of all be kind to yourself in the process, because you are worth it:)

In Waiting Room

Why are we also perpetually putting our happiness in the waiting room?

I will be happier when I get a new job….

I will be happier when I’m single/married…..

I will be happier when I can fit into a size x again….

I will be happier when I loose X number of pounds…..

I will be happier when I can hit X pace, PR, finish a certain event…..

I will be……

What if we just focus on the will be and see where that takes us?

What if instead of putting our happiness in the waiting room, we focus on what we can do to be happy where we are?

Easier said than done and we all know that.

We live in a society where we are always looking for the next shiny object that is supposed to make us happier. Supposed to make us feel complete. We live in a society that also knows that the discontent makes money.

Now it may seem like I am saying not to have goals…. not to strive for things…… Not to look forward but thats not what I’m saying at all. I am saying we must learn to embrace where we are, what we have, and what we can do in our lives who anything we do will never be good enough.

It also doesn’t help that many of us feel like we are in a holding pattern since the beginning of the Covid Pandemic. NO LIFE DIDN’T STOP even if it is not the same but in many ways a lot is still on hold.

When I was in top form chasing sub 2 half marathons (check), 25 minute 5K (never got it only hit 26 minutes) and a 4:30 half (another miss); these goals kept me motivated. They inspired me to push, but the chase is what made me happy. The disappoints may have been real in not hitting goals, but they also weren’t life changing when I didn’t reach them just as they weren’t when I did.

I was happy with the chase and any goals achieved were the cherry on top.

Right now, I am trying to motivate myself for just the chase. So much to be done and not enough time to do it is keeping the motivation at bay. Many of us are in the same boat because of jobs, family responsibilities, and just the day to day of life. Right now I keep waiting for the motivation to find me, but what I have to do is find the motivation. I’m looking…… I’m really looking…….

If you seek, you will find…..

Motivation…… I’m coming for you…… Is that considered motivation? lol

We Made It!

If you are reading this, you made it! We thought that we would couldn’t wait to celebrate the end of 2020 fast enough, but 2021 made ushering out 2021 even more of something to look forward to. Now don’t get me wrong, not everything in 2021 sucked but enough that it was worth kicking it to the curb. Come on 2022, be kind to us!

Although I am already not starting it off the way I imagined. When it appeared we were seeing the tail end of supid f&%*ing Covid, I signed up for a local Hangover Run. I always have fun. They have a cool sweatshirt and since I don’t drink, I am never hung over. Plus it doesn’t start till noon. Yet, here I sit typing my blog instead of joining in on the fun.

Why, you ask……

Stupid f$%{*ing Covid.

It’s been a minute since I’ve posted, so let me update……..

Oldest son has been fighting a cold for a while. Run down, but he is also a Senior in college with a very hard course load (not sure when you are getting a Chemical Engineering Degree with a minor in Physics there is an easy course load). Hasn’t helped that his lab partners have not been up to snuff and he has been making up for that, but I digress (professors – I guess this teaches them what happens in the real world with fellow workers who skate, but it sucks)…. Anywho…. He finished his final exam, handed in his lab report and then attended to his health. He thought he might have strep as his throat was on fire. So early Saturday morning after exams, he went to medical center. No strep. No Covid……. dun dun dun…. Mono.

He was in no shape to drive home, so hubby and I went to get him as we didn’t want to leave his car there. College town has been known to randomly decide to clean streets and tow car. When we got to his apartment, I can only describe it as everything you would expect a college apartment of a 21 year old male to look like who has been focused on school, work, and exhausted from Mono would look. As his mother, I had to do what mom’s do…… while he slept……. and slept….. and slept all the way home.

I think the first day home, he may have slept for 18 hours. Then he slept some more. I plied him with my smoothies, some protein heavy meals, and told him to sleep, rest and play his video games. He is doing better, but he still needs to take it easy.

Then there was ”normal” Christmas prep, work, and just life. We squeezed in a screening of new Spiderman movie (highly recommend) We made it to Christmas! We let our guard down for a minute and wham Covid! Middle son tested positve. Luckily he is fully vaxxed and boosted, so he had mild case. It sent the rest of us into high alert and we all had to take to our corners which ended the nightly games and fun. Boo Hoo….

But no one else tested positive. Oldest avoided it and can continue to focus on recovering from Mono without further complications. Whew! We are now past the CDC recommended quarantine guidelines (unless they’ve changed again), but still being careful.

So being the adult (which by the way sucks), I had to pass on running the Hangover Run today. I could not justify even for a small event capped at 500 chancing rolling the dice and bringing the big C home when we just lucked out with the one case we had in the house.

So here is to making it to 2022!!!

Here is to a HAPPY HEALTHY New Year with all the hope that it brings:)

Failure to Launch

If you don’t try, you will never fail.

If you don’t leap, you will never fly.

If you continue on the same path, you will never go anywhere different.

Familiar is comforting. Same ole same ole is still the same. Same isn’t worse but it will most definitely get old, stale and boring. Why do you think the best marketing strategy is ”new and improved” because marketers know that we get tired of the same ole same ole.

Familiar is comforting but it will never get you anything different. Sometimes that is why we stay with it….. Change is hard. Change is scary. Familiar may not be what we want but if we dare ourselves to think about something different than that means that we have to do something different. You can’t follow the same ole path expecting different results because that is crazy, but….. but…. if we identify what we want different and don’t do anything about it…….. that is a sign of fear. So sometimes we dont even allow these thoughts…

Sometimes we don’t even allow ourselves to fully think about veering off the path because if we do than we know that we need to change course. Just the act of thinking about change is scary. Thinking about what goals would be and more importantly why is an act of revolt. Act of courage.

It is time to be brave. To recognize that failure is not missing a goal, but not actually creating them. To stand still while not striving for anything is failure.

Time to be brave.

Failure is an option, but the biggest failure is never actually reaching for what you want. Even worse never dreaming what you want.

Not Obese, Just Fat 😉

This week I had my annual physical. Numbers are looking good. Cholesterol is going in right direction. Bad number is going down. Good is going back up. Super good blood pressure…. like awesome 96/60. My doctor even told me…. ”You are no longer in the obese category. You have moved down to just overweight.” lol

Seriously though…. she was happy because I lost 11 pounds this last year. She said whatever I was doing to keep doing it. I will also admit that I was shocked that the number was 11 pounds. Pleasantly surprised. Who wouldn’t be? So I think I will, but I know since Thanksgiving I’ve been sliding a bit. Haven’t we all? That is what happens to everyone over the holidays. Time to find my balance again. Time to readjust and get the wheels back on track. It takes so much work to loose the weight but so easy to put it back on. It sucks how unfair that is!

When told a friend I lost 11 pounds this last year, they asked what I was doing and if I thought my smoothie game was a factor. So here goes….

I do think that the smoothies have helped. For a few reasons. I start my morning of every day with a nutritionally balanced smoothie. It is never the same but always packed with lots of vitamins, filling fiber, and protein. It sets the tone for the day. Some days that works. Some days maybe not but at least every morning I get to start over.

No While I have been working with my Functional Nutrionist and it has been helpful, food wise she really has just been reinforcing what I already know. Cutting down dairy, processed food, and bad carbs is really the answer for me. Also thinking about what I am eating, when I am eating, and why am eating has been helpful.

It also helps to know what workds for you as each person is different. I have never been one to track food, count calories, or any of those things. Some that works for them. Not me. Also for me, I really am not looking at this as a diet plan to loose weight but as a healthy more natural way of eating. Seriously it is a lifestyle change and it really is about meeting my nutritional goals and just eating healthier. The thing about that is that means cutting out processed foods and cutting back on unhealthy carbs and dairy.

Win Win.

Eating this way does not in any way feel like I am giving up anything. It also allows flexibility and I never feel like I am missing out. I will also say that if I want a cookie that I will have a cookie. If I want something that I will not deprive myself but maybe instead of having a plate of cookies that I will have one or two.

Balance.

It’s not easy to find. It is often easy to get out of it and sometimes you are going to fall. As long as you keep getting up, dusting yourself off and getting back on the balance beam all is good.

As I said before….. This is about my health, meeting nutritional goals and trying to be the healthiest that I can be.

This Is Different

So after NYCM, I said that I didn’t want to run anymore marathons. I meant it. I meant it for several reasons. One, honestly, is that I was getting bored of running. I vividly remember going for a training run one day. I was running fine. I wasn’t tired. I was running/walking fine but I was bored. Now part of it is because I mostly train on my own, but I seriously just was tired of running. Not tired from running, but of running.

I don’t even know if I have run since the marathon which better change as I did sign up for the Fred Lebow half marathon in January.

I will also admit that I have been thinking about triathlons again. My very first race that I ever did before getting off the couch that got me to where I am now was a Sprint Triathlon. It was a big motivator. It also great at making me cross train because it wasn’t really cross training but training. I had one thought that kept me motivated to train especially the swim….

With the Run, you can walk

With the bike, you can coast

With the swim, you will drown….

So train.

Prepare

I am excited about this. This is truly going back to square one.

No coasting.

Train some more.

Most of all, I am feeling a sense of excitement as this will be all new again. I haven’t done a Triathlon since 2016 and never with Hypopara. I may be 100% wrong, but for some reason I think this will be less stress on my body. I also think that with transitions it might be easier to decide when and where to add calcium during training.

Now while this may really feel like it has come out of left field, it has not. I have been mulling over the thought of a triathlon for a while. It’s been in the back of my mind festering. And like all things that fester, eventually you have to do something.

So here I am. Signed up and trying to drag as many of my friends down the crazy train with me…….. This is something all good friends do!

Some people might think because I run marathons that I never suffer from issues from my Hypoparthyridism. They would be wrong. It just is part of the routine now.

Case in point

Claw hand

Yesterday, while cleaning kitchen. Not doing anything out of the ordinary. Unless you count really doing a deep clean. Hmmmm

I think the difference is that while running though, I really pay attention and adjust. During build up of the miles in my training for marathon, I pat attention to the signals. Monitoring when hands start to get tingly. Pay attention to how hard to push before adding more calcium. It is all so random to be honest and changes all the time. Things that always effect it though are temperatures when running, pace and how hard I’m pushing, time of day, time on feet, and really what the calcium Gods decide. At least that last one feels pretty accurate.

One thing that I realized during a training run is definitely extra calcium is required before mile 10. It is always better to keep the levels up than try to recover from when the hands start to tingle. During training if it was a longer run, I would make sure to take my morning dose of calcium and calcitriol before running. If it was a shorter run, I would take it as soon as I got home. If it was a LOOOONG training run, I might add extra calcium powder (Calez) to my water. If it was a hot day, I would do the same. Regardless though, I always kept a pack of the powder with me because some days I needed it and some days I didn’t, Really is a crap shoot.

On marathon day and the day before, I did some preparation. In eventing before the marathon, I took an extra dose of my Calcitriol because normally I aim to keep my blood calcium levels at just below or at the the low end of normal. So I didn’t want to go into the marathon with low calcium already. Then the morning of before I left at the super early hour of 6:00 AM, I took my morning dose which normally I don’t take until 10ish. Then I packed with me my normal meds but taking an extra dose with me as it was going to be a long and hard day. I wasn’t starting until 12:00, so I had to bob and weave before the bob and weaving actually began. So around 11:00 am or so, I took another dose of calcium and calcitriol which really would have been my normal time. Then I made sure to add Calez to one of my water bottles to have along the course. I saved another dose of my calcium, calcitriol and magnesium for when I finished. Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy.

I will say that I think for once I ran a smart race. It helped that I ran the first 16-17 miles with a friend. I think we kept each other in check. We ran paces that were sustainable. We ran smart. We also walked when needed but also encouraged each other to push ourselves to run. I ran a much smarter race when I was running with her. I would have loved to have run the whole thing with her, but we split up when she needed to stop for a bathroom pit stop. At that point, I really was afraid that if I stopped that it would be too hard to start up again. My legs were dead. My foot was hurting. Stopping was not an option for me unless I wanted to call it a day.

So I kept on going……

And going……

And going…..

At first I did not run as smart as I did when I was with Rosa, but I caught on to my stupidity. So I tried to run smarter. I walked more than I probably would have than if I was with her, but the pain was real.

But so was the joy….

The bottom line though was I still got where I wanted to get which was the finish line.

Yes, I know you’ve seen this photo before, but I do so love it.

Everyone who runs a marathon has hardships that they push through to get to the finish line. It wouldn’t be a marathon without it. This is just part of mine. Before becoming Hypopara, I didn’t have to take into account medications and added calcium, but that doesn’t mean there weren’t different challenges. As they say…….

If marathons were easy everyone would do them. I’m just too stubborn not to do what I have to do to get to the finish.

Getting It Done

Day 3 and stairs are no longer my enemy.

Day 4 and besides the healing blister on my foot I feel normal.

I guess that is what successful training is all about.

It’s funny as a runner when you run a marathon, you know recovery is a real thing. You know you have pushed your body to and past the limit, yet some how it’s annoying when you don’t just spring out of bed the next day. When I ran my first marathon, the next day I literally was wearing heals and seriously felt normal. As the years pass…… As the training is not as stellar…… As my feet begin to have issues…… As my body changes………. those days are long gone! I would have cried if I had to put on heals the next day. I switched back between my OOFAS clogs and flip flops for 3 days.

Yesterday, was the first day that I really felt normal. Getting up and down at circle time (remember I work in preschool) with ease. Bouncing up and down stairs like nothing. I only have residual tightness in my hamstrings and honestly it might be because I need to do some rolling. Really not a bad recovery.

Funny thing is that when non runners see you even in midst of recovery they are amazed. Several times I have heard things like…..

If I ran a marathon, I wouldn’t move for a month.

The fact that you are still moving amazes me.

I don’t even like walking to my car, I can’t believe you ran 26 miles.

It used to be only 1% of people have run a marathon. I recently heard that it is up to 2%. Still a small amount. Something that everyone who has ever crossed a marathon finish can take pride in. There is pride in time but there is also pride in the finish.

So I have decided to deconstruct the marathon backwards starting with the finish line…….

In the dark…. 6 hours and 3 minutes 49 seconds after crossing the start line, i crossed the finish line. Pure joy, exhaustion and triumph rolled into one.

I am thankful to the spectators who were playing Eye of the Tiger from a boom box in Central Park. They literally got me up that hill! you think you are done when you turn into the park, but there is still more for the marathon to take and for you to give.

When running a marathon, the finish line seems so far away. The longer you run, the farther it feels or maybe that is just me. For New York though, you know you are ”getting closer,” when you turn down 5th Avenue. In the past, 5th Avenue is wall to wall people cheering you on. It’s heart pumping. It is exhilarating. It is amazing. Often you will see people with their medals and ponchos in the crowd. It gets you up the Avenue into the park.

I will say starting in the the last coral of the last wave, running 5th Avenue was slightly different. Yes, there were crowds on some sections, but it was not wall to wall people. There were not people lining the entire avenue. To be honest by the time that I hit the Avenue, they were already in process of rolling up the NYRR banners. It did not have that heart pumping, energy inducing motivation to run or walk a little faster. I was at the point in the marathon where I was trying to decide if it was more painful to walk or run. So I kept on walking….

Often when people talk, think, or even run a marathon; we focus of how long did it take. The elites finish in a shorter time than most people run their half marathons. They are amazing. Then you see the times of celebrities who finish the elusive 4 hour marathon. They train for it. They earn it as much as the non celebrities we know. They are also amazing. As our the people in our circle who fly like gazelles hitting paces for mile after mile crossing the finish line in times that make our jaws drop. They are amazing! Then there are people like me, who have to answer No to people who ask, ”Did you run the whole thing?”

WE ARE ALSO AMAZING!

There is something about having the grit and determination to get to the finish line while they are rolling up the carpets so to speak. When the crowds are sparse…… When the sun is setting…….. When it is dark in the park……. When you have to be your own cheerleader……. When you have to dig in deep to find your own grit and determination because you are the reason you are there in the first place and you will be the reason that you get to the finish line. There are no massive crowds to carry you to the finish line, but those that are there know how much that you need them. I was lucky to have a friend cheering on 5th Avenue. I almost missed her but she strained your voice to scream my name loud enough that I turned to see her………. It was perfect

As was knowing that I had 2 friends who were volunteering at water station around mile 19. It is no exaggeration that I was pushing to get to them before their shift ended at 5:00 PM. I made it in time. I found them and gave them sweaty hugs stealing energy from them to keep going. Once the goal to reach them was achieved then I could tell myself that the finish line was not so far away. I like to count down the miles which doesn’t work for everyone but it works for me!

Before the water stop, my goal was to find my Sandy Hook Promise Team at 87th and 1rst Avenue. I missed them the first year that I ran for them and am thankful these last 2 times that I have not missed them. They not only give you energy but they give you a reason to keep running….. to keep pushing…… to know that giving up is not an option. They are an amazing team and while they support me during the marathon, they will always have my support running or not running.

I have never been a spectator at any marathon let alone the NYCM and I really think that would be an amazing thing to do. I think spectators underestimate how much energy they give to those running the coarse. I plan to be a spectator in the future and I know that when I do it will be the back in the pack runner that I will be saving energy to give to because we may need it more than those that are flying to the finish.

And yes…… There is more, but for today this is enough especially as I need to get to work:)

By The Numbers

There is ALWAYS a lot to unpack with a marathon. Runners LOVE to rehash our events and this one will be no different. So this will be the first of a few posts covering the day. Today we start with the numbers.

First lets talk about my training. I went in knowing that while I knew I could finish that it might be a struggle since my longest run in training was only 16 miles. Normally, I do not do a 20 mile training run as I find them defeating, but I usually do at least an 18 with a run either the day after for a running on tired legs. I also did not do that. With that being said, my training was at least consistent enough that I was confident baring any major issues that the day would be ok…… And it was.

Then there was the 4:00 AM wake up call with 6:00 departure only to have to sit for 12:00 PM start time. A friend commented that wouldn’t it be nice to know what it feels like to run a marathon where you didn’t have to sit around for hours. Just to wake up, get ready, and run. I’m sure those that finished before I even started know that feeling but it is one that I will never experience especially with NY.

Then there was the pace and finish. My average pace ended up being 13.44 with I am actually happy with. I think it helped that I ran the first 17 miles with my friend Rosa. We kept each other in check, but had to part ways when she needed to stop for porta potty stop. I was afraid at that point if I stopped that I wouldn’t start again. My quads were on fire and my foot was hurting from what I discovered later to be a massive blister. (I really have to learn to run without getting blisters. How do people do that!?!) Once we parted ways, I continued with a mixture of walk run and towards the end mostly walking. Walking with a purpose. I was at the point where I couldn’t decide if I was in more pain walking or running. If you have done a marathon you know what I’m talking about.

My official time was 6:03:50

I always said that I wasn’t going to win and I stuck to that. I literally started in the last corral with nothing behind us but a fence. But the party really is in the back!

Lastly, the most important number…….. This is my third year running for Sandy Hook Promise. Going in I was worried that due to Covid and the impact it had on people financially that fundraising would be harder. I also feel that due to Covid their mission of inclusion, empathy and programs to help kids are needed more than ever. I will also say that I worked hard with auction, back sales and other things that I not only made my requirement but surpassed it!!! As of today, my marathon fundraising has reached $3,916. I am hoping to reach $4,000 before it ends. https://fundraisers.hakuapp.com/christine-chaillet?referral_source=FBK&fbclid=IwAR34_JS4IcMeCoCChOysSA4x4GCIK0zTkLc1_BFQCgNGaroHnkyHf8EAyAY

More to come….. but need to roll again and maybe take a nap:)

Ready or Not Here I Come

Training for a marathon seems to take forever. From the moment you sign up, you start thinking about what plan you are going to follow. Then it’s actually implementing. Even harder yet….. Sticking to the plan.

So here we are 7 days out and it will be what it will be.

Am I ready?

Surprisingly, I feel ready. I did not follow the plan to the letter T or probably not even close. That being said, I still feel ready.

Shocking I know…. But I do.

I think the biggest thing is that I really adjusted expectations. I adjusted what I thought I should do with the reality if what I might be able to do. Most of all, I know that if I am not an idiot, don’t go out too fast, and do what I need to do the finish line will only be 26.2 miles away.

Easy Peasy lemon squeazy

Ok, not at all but it is in reach. I have trained. My legs have done it before. Mentally I am in the right place. I am looking forward to it.

So now this week it will be putting the finishing touches on the logistics. It helps that I have reached my fundraising goal for Sandy Hook Promise too. That takes some of the pressure off.

Last week I had a bake sale. Have I mentioned that I LOVE to bake. I also LOVE to share baked goods and message of Sandy Hook Promise. I just about sold out. Had lots of generous donations and reached my goal….. That makes it worth it.

More later this week, but just wanted to let you know I’m ready as I will ever be. Today final “long run” at only 10 miles. Went with some friends and was a good run. It’s always nice to end with a good run. This week some short 3 milers to keep legs loose.