Archives

NO STOPPING

I’ve had a few people tell me that there is no shame in stopping now. While I know that to be true, I’m also not at that point. A prudent man might say, this is not your year. But I’m not a prudent man, I’m a hardcore badass unicorn who knows that she hasn’t reached her limits. This is just another speedbump in a road filled with them.

Exhibit A

Yesterday I went out for my long run. I knew it would be hard. I expected it to be hard. It was and I was filled with many doubts along the way. That being said, I was not expecting this. I went out planning to keep a very conservative pace which I did. I was averaging 13:30 paces which was mix of walking and running. I stopped to stretch along the way because it was just hard. The beginning was worse which I chalked it up to the normal aches and pains of being Hypopara. I was wrong.

I ended up walking the last mile because I was in pain. A lot. Hubby asked why I didn’t call someone to pick me up. To be honest the thought had crossed my mind, but I really wanted to hit 13 which was down from my original 15 I was going for. It was bad but not excruciating. Manageable and I thought, “I’ll be ok once I get home and stretch.” The excruciating part came after I got home, sat down and took off my shoes. I couldn’t get up I was in so much pain. I thought….. let me shower and that will help.

I had to shower sitting down and then soaked in some Epsom salt. When I went to stand up, I couldn’t. I literally slithered out of the tub and dressed on the floor. Not my best moment. Then again, maybe it was. I managed to get up and sit on the bed and call my podiatrist to get an ASAP appointment. Although painful, I was able to tiptoe to my car to make the drive.

There may have been some tears on the phone with a friend. I kept saying I didn’t do anything different. I was being conservative. I was being smart. I’ve only got 4 weeks to go. Boo Hoo. I was also nervous because it was BOTH FEET. One foot, you can hobble around on. This was not that and even having PF before, I never experience this level of pain. It made me nervous it was more.

Thankfully, by the time I got to the podiatrist office about an hour later, I could put pressure on my feet but it was still painful. At least now it was a respectable 6 and not an off the chart pain. I’ve also got a pretty good tolerance for pain which made me nervous.

X-ray shows all is good. Ultrasound image showed swelling in Plantar Fasciitis. Doc said normal is 2. Mine was 3.8. So after some discussion and promise from me not to do ANY running (as if I could) for the next week until I go back, he gave me cortisone shots in both feet followed by adding some cushioning and wrapping. He said swim or bike, but rest feet. NO bare feet around house and shoes while teaching my preschool gymnastics classes.

So here I am. Being a good girl. staying off my feet. Today I am still sore, but it’s a moderate pain. I’ve already ordered some PF supplies, soaked, rolled and tomorrow plan to go for my very first acupuncture session.

Normally at this point in a marathon training cycle, I say trust in the training to get you there. Not this time. What I need to do now is trust in myself. Trust that I know what my body can do even on hard days. Trust that I know it will be difficult, but knowing that I can do hard things. Trust no matter what the outcome that it is enough.

If I wanted to be brutally honest, I would say that I am running a marathon that I have no business running. I’m under trained. I’m out of shape. I’ve got plantar fasciitis. Then there is the whole hypopara thing. This will not be the great come back that I envisioned at the beginning of this training cycle. This will not be the hypopara PR that I was shooting for.

All that being said, this will still be amazing experience. Running as part of the Sandy Hook Promise Team. Spending time with the team. Sharing the cause. This will also be a feat of determination. Mind not just matter, but my body. Pushing. Asking more from it than it willingly will want to give, but can. That is true for every marathon runner. No matter where you are, what your goals, or even your health. Running a marathon proves that yourselve that you can do anything you put your mind to.

And my mind is set.

Failure to Launch

Fear of failure is not an excuse to not try. If everyone waited until they were 100% certain they could reach their goal before attempting something, we would still be living in caves. We have the expression “If at first you don’t succeed; try, try and try again” for a reason. The reason being is you will probably fail more in life than you want to admit, but you will always fail if you don’t try.

If you fail to launch, you will never fly. You will never go anywhere and your feet will miss out on everything and anything.

In 4 weeks, I will be “running” NYC Marathon. This marathon is mine to either finish or to crash and burn. Yes, there are many things out of my control but there is much of it in my control too. Like everyone else, I do not know what is going to happen. I don’t know how things will play out. What I do know is that it is up to me how I face it and with what attitude.

It was already going to be hard. There is no such thing as an easy marathon. It’s going to be harder. No matter what it is already worth it.

So while everyone is planning strategies, putting together paces, and setting goals. I, realistacly, with where I am in my training and with my meds have one goal and that goal is to finish. Ok, I might have two goals….. I want to enjoy the experience. Too often we get bogged down in worry about completing our goal that we miss the whole experience. I’m setting some lofty goals……

1. Get to the finish Line

2. Keep calcium in check

3. Don’t be too hard on yourself

4. Don’t be too easy on yourself

5. Enjoy it

This year I will be one of approximately 50,000 people running the NYC Marathon each with their own reasons, expectations, and goals. In the US, even though runners think everyone runner has run at least one marathon, the truth is that only .5% of the US population has run one. I am about to embark on my 7th. It is because I’ve done this before that I am optimistically confident that I can finish this. My legs are strong. Mentally I know what to expect. I’ve run this course twice before and although every race day is different, it will be familiar. I also have the ace in my pocket in knowing that I am running not for me, but for Sandy Hook Promise. 26 miles for 26 angels. It’s not just a hashtage, but something I believe.

So as I continue to work on figuring out once again, calcium and calcitrol needs. I will finally go get those new shoes, so that I can break them in before the marathon. I will work out the logistics. I will continue to push doubts out and confidence in.

Tell yourself no matter what you are doing… Big or small…. tell yourself that you can do it. Then prepare yourself and do it.

Rolling With It

Sometimes it feels like life is a ball of yarn that you must keep re-rolling because as time passes it unwinds and gets messy.   As it unwinds, it frays and the dead ends need to be cut off before rewrapping (sorry to my knitters if this is bad analogy).     If you don’t continue to wrap it back up, eventually your yarn will become knotted and unusable. So it’s best to deal with the mess before it’s too late. That’s where I’m at.

Waking up in the morning feeling like you’ve already come back from your run. Needing to be stretched and rolled does not make lacing up your running shoes quick or easy.    That doesn’t make it less necessary.

A mile and a half in and already tingles in the face.    Still working on determining when to take my Calcitriol and calcium because it’s obviously not enough time before I hit the pavement.   Race morning that should not be a problem since I won’t be starting till the 11-ish or later time frame.   I’ve got to work this out and also get morning stomach issues under control.

I feel like I was given hope only to have it taken away.   One of the reasons that I signed up for NYC Marathon as Sandy Hook Promise Runner was because I knew that I was going on Natpara.  Yes, I believe in their cause and am proud to be a runner for them, but I would have supported from the sidelines.    I knew the training would be different than the last year without it.    I knew how hard, frustrating, and exhausting it was without that PTH hormone and I didn’t want to do it all over again.    Now I had no choice to do it all over again, but now in a matter of weeks and not months.

I wonder if I have enough time to get my body used to running without Natpara at the distance I need to be running.   Yes, I’ve done it without Natpara in the past.   The big difference is that I did it from the start.   I had the time to adjust as the weeks went by.   Adjusting and learning what my body needed, when to add calcium, and building up.   Now instead of months to figure this out, I’ve got weeks to get my body and my mind on board.   They are still adjusting.   It’s harder than it should be both mentally and physically.   Knowing that does not make it easier.

Yes, I’ve got the base.   I can look on the bright side and know that for most of the training cycle that I had what I needed and could get the runs in.   I was even running at a pace that I was happy with again.   I didn’t think it would be my marathon pace, but I was doing alright.   Now in these next few weeks as I’m still adjusting my meds, I have to do what I have to do.

What I have to do is train where I am at today.   The bottom line is…. What choice do I have because I’m not quitting.   That is not an option.    To be totally honest with myself is that there is really not much that is going to keep me from the start line.   So with that said I better buckle up and go in trained the best that I can and know that it is going to be a bumpy ride.

I’m going into this marathon trained not as I should be, but as I can be.   It will be enough.   It has to be enough.   There is no other option

Doubt is the killer of all dreams……

And while this above statement is true, there comes a point where you have to face what the doubts are telling you   Running without Natpara, the PTH hormone, and dealing with that loss.  Knowing that I have to adjust expectations, training, and goals. Wondering if I will have what I need to get to the finish line.   Knowing that there isn’t much that will keep me from it either.

Training will be what it will be.   If your looking for tips on how to train for a marathon, this isn’t it.   But having already done 6 marathons, I am comfortable saying that I know I can adjust.   Maybe I walk more that I should although who determines how much “should” is.   I will do what I can and no more.

Who knows maybe I will surprise myself.

Can I Do That?

Sometimes there are bigger questions we must ask ourselves. It is not….

Can I do that?

but

Should I do that?

These are very different questions that will bring about very different answers for various reasons. They will often bring very different results too. Often what we should do does not give us the instant gratification we want. It does not bring the smug satisfaction of victory, speed, or getting the last word. It might feel safe. It might feel like the easy way out, but often what we should do versus what we can do is so much harder.

Can I eat that cupcake? Most certainly and it will be super yummy and delicious.

Should I eat that cupcake? No because I really don’t need the empty calories and I might feel guilty about it.

Can I respond sarcastically to that person who is being an ass to me? You bet I can and I will get so much satisfaction out of it too.

Should I respond? Nope, because in the long run it will only create more drama and I know the smart thing is just to walk away with my head held high.

There are so many of these sometimes small, sometimes big questions that come up on a daily basis. Our gut wants the instant gratification that comes with the why not attitude and in some cases it really doesn’t matter. Sometimes it matters. It matters to our piece of mind, our waistline, our health and a whole host of things.

This is where I am now. There might be some people who think I’m being overdramatic with coming off the daily injection of Natpara. They would be wrong. In my Natpara support group, someone is tracking hospital visits. As of today there are 62 who went to the emergency room. 30 admitted to the hospital and 7 of those went to ICU. This is no joke and I know that I am one of the lucky ones whose transition is going ok but if it’s one thing people in Hypopara community know things turn on a dime.

So with this thought in mind, I have been asking myself…..

Can I run faster and longer in training? The answer is probably (depending on the day)…. Yes because aerobically I have the base as I’ve been training. By pushing myself while transitioning off medicine and readjusting I will need to face the consequences….. muscle cramps, tingles, and if I push too hard a calcium crash.

The real question is….. Should I keep trying to run faster and longer in training? The answer is No. Again, I’m not a fast runner anyway. I’ve got nothing to prove and I really would like to get to both NYC Marathon feeling good and cross the finish line without needing to suck down packets of calcium or worse.

So the lesson that is always hard to learn is that while you can do something, it is not always prudent to do it. I proved that with today’s run. It helped that the weather was perfect. I have my low mileage plan and went out to do 6 miles. I went into it trying to keep my pace around 11:30 which is what my Garmin show. Nike is faster, but I’m going by Garmin which shows average pace of 11:37. Not sure why the discrepancy with Nike, but doesn’t really matter.

At these slower paces, I could do it. Yes, I walked some but not as much as I thought I would. I kept telling myself to slow down which is probably not what most runners tell themselves. I’m not looking to run fast. I’m looking to run long. Run far. Mostly I’m looking to not want to fall over when I cross the finish line.

So this may be another 6 plus hour marathon this go around. Oh well. Better to know what I should do than pretend to attempt something that for right now I can’t do.

Be Positive

I’m a pretty positive person. I usually take a wait and see approach to life. Usually don’t focus on the negative. That being said, life is messy and complicated and as much as we want to you can’t always post about rainbows and puppy dogs.

I see people on social media who post nothing but positive things. Even going so far as to apologize if something is miscontrud as negative. I am not judging them as that is their choice, but to me it’s not a real choice as life is not all good or all bad. Pretending otherwise is just that pretending.

Sometimes people are crappy. Sometimes XYZ is Crappy. Sometimes life is crappy. Sometimes you don’t want to put on a happy face and sometimes your just not feeling it. That’s life unless your Mr Rogers. It’s ok to get mad. It’s ok to express frustration, disappointment, and even be what might be considered negative. That’s life as long as you don’t just focus on the negative, that’s ok. It’s a balance.

Life has it’s ups. Life has it’s downs. In order to appreciate the ups, you must acknowledge the downs. Acknowledging the downs does not mean that suddenly you are going to be negative Nelly. It just means you are acknowledging that life is complicated and we don’t live Stepford Lives. I can appreciate the good, while acknowledging the suck.

So right now, I still feel like I’m in a holding pattern. Counting the days till the magic juice runs dry. That is 4. Part of me doesn’t like the holding pattern I’m in. Part of me is grateful for it as it has given me time to prepare….. talk to my doctor, order my meds, plan. But now I’ve done all these things, so now it’s just enjoy these 4 days and worry about day 5.

I’m also angry because I accepted the new normal of having to inject myself every day and take just a few calcium supplements a day. I’m angry because I thought this was going to last more than the 5 months and I should have started sooner. I’m angry because of the lack of information on how long this will take and when the medicine may be available again. I’m angry because I felt like I had my life back.

I’m also feeling a little defeated. Finally start getting things together and now this. And again, I know it could be worse and I’ve been lucky Some people might also think I’m being dramatic. Those people would be wrong and really don’t know the truth of this disorder, my life, or what I do to make things look easy. That being said, you would never say to a diabetic, “Well you’ve only a little diabetics.” Yes, I’m lucky in my symptoms. I’m lucky that I’ve been able to do so much. I’m lucky that my schedule will allow be self care as needed, but I still have Hypopara with all that comes with that.

I’m also nervous and these next 4 days I will probably see more Hypopara stories to make me slightly more. As I said before coming off the Natpara is no joke. In my Hypopara support group, someone tracked that there are already 14 who have had to go to ER with 7 being admitted. Again, don’t know what will happen, but it is a little nerve racking. I, honestly, don’t expect that to happen to me because I’ve never had to in the past. I’m hoping for a smooth transition, but it’s always in the back of your mind. If there is one thing Hypopara people spend a lot of time worrying about is their calcium levels, symptoms, and how to handle it all.

Here’s the crux of it too…….. I’ve got about 7 more weeks till the NYC Marathon. Training for a marathon is no joke under any circumstances. I’ve trained before without Natpara, but I use the word train loosely. I’ve trained prior to being Hypopara. I will admit that there comes a point in every training cycle where it kind of sucks, but you know you’ve got to do it. I can do it again. That being said, I’m going to be doing the dance of adjusting my meds while finishing my training. And did I ever mention that sweat and exercise effect your calcium levels. I’m sure I mentioned it. Luckily, I am usually in tune to my symptoms, have a doctor I can text if symptomatic, and am pretty good about keeping my levels. All while working and taking care of my family. Hmmm.

Lastly, I’ve still got $800 to raise for Sandy Hook Promise in these next few weeks while doing everything else.

Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy.

So while I’m being super Negative Nelly that is also not the true story. Yes, all of these feelings, worries, thoughts are valid but there is another side to the coin. I know that I am lucky. I know that it will work out. I’m optimistic that things will go smoothly. That levels will remain stable and I will just keep on keeping on.

You can recognize the negative while embracing the positive. I always say….. Hope for the Best. Prepare for the worst. Most of all accept it all.

I’m Not Unpacking

You already know the whole Natpara thing has thrown me for a loop. It’s to be expected, but I’ve got literally a week of it left so I might as well make the best of it. It’s hard though when you see posts of people in your hypopara support groups already suffering with the effects of coming off of it and some already in the ER. It’s no joke.

What I keep thinking of though is that prior to Natpara I was lucky enough not to have visited an ER. So chances are pretty good that I won’t now either. At least that’s what I keep telling myself because you just never know because now it’s not just the hypopara but body adjusting to not having Natpara. I’m hopefully optimistic especially because I am also lucky enough to have a doctor not just well versed in Hypopara but also in Natpara. I trust her judgement and the instructions she gives to make this as smooth as possible. It will be a balancing act. Not too low. Not too high which is just as bad. We are looking for just right. Fingers crossed.

So yeah, I admit that I’m nervous. I think that I might be a fool if I wasn’t. But since the medicine is no longer available, I’ve got no choice expect to face it head on with as positive an outlook as I can.

Now Lastly I will admit that I’ve also been thinking about how NYC Marathon is in 8 weeks. Training has been going good in my opinion. I’ve been for the most part following my plan. I’ve been getting out the door. Doing what needs to be done to be able to cover the distance. I have not been concerned with paces as that has never been part of the goal. That being said paces have been better than I have expected. Part of me was starting to think that I might actually have a 5:15-5:30 marathon in me.

Well that’s out the door.

I have been experiencing a little tiny pity party these last few day. Not getting in one run since the news came out. Part of me is like…. why bother? A What will it matter pity party.

So it’s time to dust off the stink of the pity party. The Party is over and I refuse to unpack here, because I don’t know what is coming anyway. Besides I was never doing this marathon for me, but for Sandy Hook Promise anyway. So be what may, I will do what I can. At any pace that I can. Smart and safe as I can (don’t worry Mom). I will do this any way that I can, but I will do it.

So with that being said…. It’s time to run again.

I

Fire

I’m preparing to start training for NYC Marathon. I’m dotting my i’s and crossing my t’s. Picking my training plan. Kind of doing some pre training. Thinking about goals. All the things that I’m supposed to be doing. With all that being said, I am noticing one thing missing this go around.

Fire.

Don’t get me wrong….. I’m excited to be getting ready to train and run NYC Marathon for Sandy Hook Promise. I’ve got the fire to get to both start and finish line. Let me explain….

When I first started this journey years ago, I had fire and determination. I pushed myself to the limit. I trained. I ran far. I ran fast. I pushed myself to and past limits that I didn’t know I could push through. I got up early. I ran late at night. I had serious goals. Some I reached. Some I didn’t. But I always pushed through.

Now….

I like to sleep in….. I’m comfy on the couch at night. I’m missing that fire to push the limits. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been running (not as much as I thought for pretraining). I’ve been running some local 5K and being pretty consistent in my times. Faster than I thought I’d be. I’ve run 3 5K’s this year. All of them, I said I was just going to run and see what happened. All of them were hard and I pushed myself. All of them I finished around 31 minutes.

Now that being said, I think the reason my fire is a little damp right now is I’m not sure what is going to happen as I start adding the miles. Am I going to fall apart. Is my body which thanks to my Natpara has been feeling good going to give me issues. I’m worried. I like the way I’ve been feeling. You know… feeling like me. I think that I may be afraid to rock the boat. I keep saying I don’t want to go back to how I felt both mentally and physically before I started my Natpara. I love running. I love racing. I love being able to cross any finish line but a marathon finish line is special especially when running for a cause you believe in. That being said as much as I love that…… I love waking up not feeling like grandma. I love not needing a nap in the afternoon. I love not having muscle cramps, spasms and all of those other funky sypmptoms of being hypopara.

So I guess what I will say is…… I have the fire, but I’m afraid to let it burn too brightly right now. I’m going to tend to it. I’m going to care for it, but I’m not going to let it burn out because while I love running; I love being able to live my life like I did before my surgery.

If there is one thing about being hypopara is that it does make you more cautious. Where I used to throw caution to the wind and let the chips fall where they may because I knew I could easily pick up the pieces; I don’t do that now. When they fall, they fall too hard and it takes too long to pick them up.

So I will go into my training following a very low key plan. I will put in the miles. I will do what I need to do and as the 3 miles turns 5 and so forth and so forth; I will reassess. I will adjust. What I will not do is stop….

So I guess I do have more fire than I thought:)

A Warm Embrace

While I’m no longer in recovery right now, I will say that I am in some type of holding pattern.   I have not run since NY.   Not even from the house to the car.   Maybe a fast walk, but nothing close to a run.   There are a few reasons, but those aren’t for today.

Toady I still want to talk about NY.

Prior to the marathon I toyed with not getting the NYCM poncho and checking a bag instead.   Logistically checking a bag made more sense because I was planning to take the train out of the city and without a checking bag, I would literally only have what I could carry with me.   I went back and forth and realized that for me, there is nothing better than having the poncho draped around my shoulders by the very caring volunteers.

I’ve done many events (including triathlons) where I come home in what I raced in.   The worst, I admit, was after running the Marine Corps Marathon.   After it, I used wipes to clean up the best I could and then got in my car and drove away.   It wouldn’t have been bad for a normal drive home, but I was leaving DC to go to NJ.   I did manage to do a clean up in a rest stop on the way home.  A close second was the 2 hour drive home after running a 50K.   This is not recommended though.   So with this thought process, I knew that I would be able to hop a train in my running attire.

I also knew that I could make this work, because I am not a minimalistic  runner and wear my Fitletic belt that I also have an add of to hold a phone.   Since I put my phone in the big pocket, I knew that I could use this accessory to hold extra medications, charger, fuel, and even my headphones.   Then I put my credit card and id in the main belt.   I do admit that I might refer to my Fitletic belt as my bat belt.    As a mother of all boys, I identify with Batman having all the tools he needs on his belt.

My only concern would be if the weather was very cold or it was raining.   I had decided though that it didn’t matter and if for some reason I felt the need to have anther set of clothes that I would be in NY and it would be very easy to acquire them.   Luckily the weather was perfect, so this became a non issue.

There is something very nice at the end of a long day to have a smiling, friendly volunteer envelope you in your poncho.    There is no comparison to a heat sheet.

So now that the race is over, what do I plan to do with my poncho?   Keep it, of course.   I have kept my old one in the trunk of my car and used it at my kids sporting events.   I have used it when unprepared for rain/snow or just he cold.   I plan to put this one in our second car.

So when given the choice….. Get the poncho!

What have you done with yours since the race?

It’s Not Just About the Numbers

I will admit that I am a numbers person.   I like keep track of how far I’ve run.   I like to keep track of pace and distance.   I am never one to run without my Garmin.   That being said, there is so much more to running that sometimes we forget.   Sometimes the universe sends us a curve ball to remind us.

Now I am not saying there is anything wrong with chasing time.   I’ve done it.    I trained hard to be able to get a sub 2 half.    I was never able to obtain the 4:30 marathon or 25 minute 5K.   Although I admit that I came close with a 26.26 5K and I could never shave off the 8 minutes to get the 4:30.    But as much as I chased these dreams, I was never completive enough to be totally vested in them.

To me this race was never about the race, but the experience.   It was about raining money for Sandy Hook Promise and trying to bring about change.   It was about so much more for me.   I was excited about the challenge of raising money for them.   I was not equally excited about running the marathon.   My heart was in the fundraising, but also in just getting to the finish line for those 26 angels who broke my heart and made me promise to try and bring about change for the future.

45377532_10215894900197880_9159796036858806272_n (1)When I saw this picture after the race, I took this as a sign that those 26 angels were with me that day.   They were the reason that I ran.    They were what got me to the finish line.  Yeah, I really do believe this.

It was by far my slowest marathon at 6:10:13.    I can honestly say though it was my most enjoyable race ever.   Not that I wasn’t in pain by mile 6.    Not that I didn’t need to stop to take more calcium because I was feeling wonky from low calcium.    It’s because for the first time I really, really took in my surroundings.   Not chasing time allowed me to chase the experience more fully.    This is not to say that when I ran for time that I didn’t enjoy it, but there was much I missed.

I missed stopping to take in this view and take a picture.

I missed helping a little old lady with a cane navigate her way across the street when she looked overwhelmed, (Seriously, I helped an old lady cross the street)

I missed walking with a man whose been running the marathon since 1978 and hearing his stories of how the marathon has changed.   He loves the changes.   He love the race and he loves how even though his goal now is to try to finish before dark that he is still moving.

I missed taking in the grit of a hand cyclist at he was hours into the race and still pushing through.

I missed stopping to take pictures with random strangers because I loved their sign.

I missed around mile 23 taking a power bar from a child passing them out and hearing his mother telling him that she told him someone would take it.   Then seeing how excited he was.   Best of all, devouring said energy bar that never tasted so good.

I missed remembering that even at my fastest the time really didn’t matter because as much as a number person I am that I had to look what my PR marathon time was (4:38), but I will always remember the 6 hours and 10 minutes and 13 seconds running this marathon took.

More tomorrow as there is always so much to unpack with a marathon!

The Calm Before the Storm

I’ve recently been asked on more than one occasion and in more than one way,

“Are you ready?”

My response has been all over the place, but it really is a loaded question.

Am I ready?

Yes and No and everything in between.

I’ve done the training.   Not like training in the past but ultimately I do think that I’ve done enough to be ready.    I’ll be honest, for all the bluff about knowing I will get to the finish line; I do have some doubts.   Small doubts, but doubts just the same.  I actually think these doubts will work in my favor.

I know that I can run this distance.   I’ve done it before.   I’ve done it more than once.   Muscle memory aside, I’ve also know mentally what it takes to push through when you want to stop.   Who remembers me literally crying when running Chicago?   I still got to the finish line.

I also know that each race is different.   No two marathons are alike.   No two races are alike even if it is the same course.   With knowledge is power.   I have the knowledge of how hard this day will be.   I have the knowledge that it won’t be a walk in the park even if it ends in Central Park.  I have the knowledge that my body can go the distance.    I have the knowledge of knowing that no matter what I will continue to move forward to get the finish line.   Most of all, I have the knowledge to know how sweet it is to cross the finish line.

I think this knowledge is bringing a calmness to the preparation of the day.   I am looking forward it tremendously, but I am calm about it.   No nerves.   It  will be what it will be.   I think this will help me.   The no expectations.   The knowing what to expect.   These things will help me to keep myself in check.   EVERYONE is excited at the beginning of any race.   The trick is to know that what you feel like at mile one is definitely not what you will feel like at mile 20.    So the knowledge that I have in how hard the end of the race will be will keep me from not following the plan.   I t will keep me to be realistic in my pace, my expectations, and my finish time.    This will not be a BQ.    This will not be a PR.    This will be my slowest marathon.   I am ok with that. It is this knowledge and peace that will help me to keep my head on and my feet moving:)

effort