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What’s In the Bag?

Today marks 100 days till NYC Marathon.   Training is underway and while some days I do wonder What I was thinking, overall I think it is going good.   I’ve got some kinks to work out and I think adjusting on my Garmin will help with that.    That is what training is for…. not just to get the body ready, but to work out the kinks.

So while training is underway, I got an email for Bag Check.   Many races, it really is a no brainer to check because it really makes no difference.   NY is different.   If you do not check a bag, you get a super comfy Poncho at the end of the race.    It is like getting into a warm blanket at the end of the race.   Ahhhhh.

Last time I ran NY, there was no thought.   I wanted the Poncho.   Besides feeling like heaven at the end of a long day, it says NYC Marathon on it.   As a soccer mom, I must admit that it has come in handy on the sidelines there too.   That being said, this time I don’t need to get a poncho since I already have one, but it would be nice at the end of the marathon.

Also if you check a bag, it does take longer to get out of the park when your done running.    The downside though to not checking a bag is that you do not have any additional items that you may want at the end either.   You know like a change of clothes.   Maybe a sweatshirt.   Additional calcium and such.    There is much to think of because these are all good things to have at the end of a long day.

That being said last time I ran NY, I had none of the above mentioned things and I survived.  So as of now it is a toss up.

But I’m pretty sure that I am going with the Poncho.   I’ve got time to think this through and I’m sure that I will change my mind several times right up until I hit send.   And then I will question myself some more.

What do you plan to do?

Fire and Determination

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Photo by Snapwire on Pexels.com

It’s been almost a month since I’ve written anything here, but that does not mean that I haven’t still been doing what needs to be done.   That might be why I haven’t been here.   June is a crazy month for most families especially when you have a High School aged child who graduated.    This makes for an even more hectic June, but an awesome one.

That being said, I am still sticking with the program.    For right now I have settled on the run 3 minutes walk 40 seconds balance.    It seems to be working nicely and I am making sure to start out immediately with this and not wait till I feel like I need it.   This is the way the program was designed and for good reasons because it works.

I am still in the beginning of my training and have not gone for any run longer than 5 miles, but that will change in the next couple of days.   Yesterday I did 5 miles.   It was actually a perfect day for running.   It was warm but not humid.   Even with walking, I completed 5 miles with an average pace of 11:33.    I do wonder if this is something that I will be able to keep as the miles increase, but again that is what training is for.

I’ve been doing most of my running alone.   Mostly because of schedule, but also by choice.   I ran into a fellow local MRTT runner last week.   It was a humid and hot day.   She helped me push my pace even though she was recovering from an epic race of her own.    I needed to walk more that day than my program called for.   It was hot and it was just one of those days.   I kept telling her to leave me as I didn’t want to mess her run up.   She stayed and we had a very nice chat.  I was happy to have her make the miles go by.

I’ll be honest.   Sometimes I need to run on my own.   I find it helps clear my mind.   I also have never minded running on my own.   When I was using my running coach, I did most of my training runs on my own because each run I had very specific goals and paces.   I do not now have these same issues, but I also am finding that there is a sense of embarrassment to run with others now.   I know it’s stupid.   I know they don’t care.   I know it’s in my head…. BUT it is also very real.

I know that everyone has their goals.    I know my friends will run with me and stay with me, but that may not be what they need.   That may not help them reach their goals.   It is one thing to go out for a leisure run with friends when you are not training for something,  but it is training time.

I also realize that although I have the desire to run the NYCM to the best of my ability, I do not have the fire that I may have once had.   It is not a bad thing.   I am not chasing any time or goal.   I am training to finish and enjoy the process.   One day I might have the fire and drive to compete for another PR, but this is not that time.    This might come from this year my goal for NY is about Sandy Hook Promise and not myself.  26 miles for 26 angels.

Now just because I say that I do not have fire, does not mean that I do not have drive.   These are 2 very separate things.   I have the will, desire, and determination to train, run, and complete the NYCM.    I also know that my body can and has run this distance before.   I am confident that I can get to the finish line again WTIH PROPER TRAINING.   I have the drive to make that happen.   I will not let my team down.

PS:  If you would like to donate to my Sandy Hook Promise fundraising page: https://www.crowdrise.com/o/en/campaign/sandy-hook-promise-foundation-nyc-2018/christinechaillet

So my daily running challenge is over.   I will say that I am happy to be done with it, but at the same time without the accountability I have not been running these last few days.   That being said though it is freeing to be done because while not running, I have been busy doing other things.   It would have been added stress to worry about when am I going to squeeze my mile in.

I give kudos to those that are dedicated to streak days, months, and years.    I’ll be honest, I think I may have stopped at day 29 and not even hit 30 but I’m ok with that.    Last Friday would have been day 30 and it was a crazy hectic week as they all are and by Friday I felt like a tractor trailer hit me.   I think that I was dozing on the couch by 7:30.    My body needed the rest more than it needed the mile.

What did I learn from this little experiment?

  1. That once you go out for a mile, you might as well do more if time allows
  2. That my body is not designed to run every day.
  3. That it was a good way to jump start my running/training
  4. That I’m glad that I did it
  5. And most of all, I’m glad that it is over!!!

 

Will I do another streak?   Not any time soon.    I do have some plans that I am working on finalizing and will hopefully have everything in place by next week.   This will keep me motivated, busy, and running that is for sure.

So for now, I am going to enjoy one challenge ending while gearing up for a new one.

Stay tuned….

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Sticking to the plan.   I may not be going far every day, but at least I am going every day which was the plan.   Last week was a crazy and brutally busy week, yet I still managed to sneak in a run every day.   I’ve even taken to bringing out the night running gear again because even though it may be the last thing I wanted to do, even though it might of been cold and rainy, or even if I had walked miles at a visit to my son’s soon to be college; I still managed to get a run in.

Tomorrow will be 10 days strong on my streak.  Here is what I’ve discovered so far…

  1.  This is NOT something that I would want to do long term
  2. This HAS actually been good for me so far.
  3. Even though time wise my week may not have allowed many miles, I’m finding that I would like to run more than a mile once started.   Seems like a lot of work getting out the door for just one mile.
  4. I AM getting back into a routine.
  5. I AM definitely remember what it is like to run on tired legs even if it’s just a mile.
  6. I AM GOING TO MAKE IT TO DAY 30!

While I am very certain that streaking is not something that I would want to do long term, I do think it was a wise decision to lay it out there to do for thirty days.   Now the question is no longer, “Will I run today?”   but “When am I going to run today.”

There is not thought to it which makes it so much easier.   It takes the excuses out of the equation and just makes them obstacles to overcome.   Yes, I may be tired; but I’ve still got to run.   Yes, it may be raining but I’ve got a rain jacket.   Yes. Yes. Yes.

This week while busy, hopefully will allow some much needed breathing room and maybe even some more time for longer runs.   Although, since my goal right now is 5K’s I really don’t need a ton of miles.    This past week I ran just 11 miles, but they were probably 11 miles that I would not have run before I started this challenge.   It became too easy to find an excuse even a good one not to run.   20 more days with a reason to run.

Here is not hoping that when this challenge is over that I will be back into the routine of running and running some more.   Until then, I will just keep going.

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BE NICE!

Why are we always harder on ourselves than we are on our friends?    It’s one of life’s biggest mysteries.

Examples 1

Friend, “I can’t believe how slow my last run was.”

Caring Response, “At least you got out there.   Don’t worry about it.   We all have bad days.”

Response to self for slow run, “What is wrong with you.   Suck it up.   Push harder.”

Example 2

Friend, “I’m planning to take some time off from running to heal injury, just not feeling it, no time or any such thing.”

Response, “Smart move.   Give yourself time that you need.   The road will be there when you are.”

Response to self for time off, “Your loosing it.   You better lace up and go for a run.  What is wrong with you.   Your lazy, ect, ect.”

Example 3

Friend, ” I finished the Race in XYZ.   It wasn’t my goal time.”

Response, “Still a great race.   So proud of you.   You tried your best and you can try for that goal again.”

Respnse to self, “What is wrong with you.   You didn’t train hard enough.   You blew it, ect, ect, ect”

 

These examples don’t just happen in our running.   I’m sure that we each could pick things from our “real lives” that we do the same things.

  Why though?

I used to think it was just me, but I realize over time that so many of us do it.   We all come to life with our own baggage.

Why is it so easy to show our friends compassion when we do not give ourselves the same courtesy.   We are not lying to our friends when we respond to them.   We aren’t trying to just make them feel better.   We truly mean these kind words.    So why do we not cut ourselves the same break?   It’s time to break the cycles.

Yeah, if only it was that easy.   Most of the time we don’t always know we are doing it.   Kind of like when someone gives you a compliment and you dismiss it with some self deprecating comment.  STOP THAT.    It’s time to realize that you deserve to be treated the way you treat others.

I’ve been trying to be nicer to myself with my running.   I’ve beaten myself up on how I need walk breaks, how out of breath I am, ect, ect, ect.     What I realized is that if a friend was in my position, I would be so much kinder to their situation than I have been to mine.   What I’ve also realized is that this pattern was developed over time and it will take time and work to change it.

So here is what I propose we all do:

  1.  If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself.
  2. Build yourself up.  Not in an obnoxious way, but remind yourself that you are worth it too.
  3. Criticizing yourself is not the way to self motivate.   If you feel you could/should have run faster, tell yourself that you did your best but will try again next time.
  4. Take time for yourself and don’t feel like you don’t deserve to splurge on you.

Yeah, if only it was that easy.   The truth is that it’s not hard either.   It just takes time, energy, and being mindful of your inner voice.

Your worth it!

and

So am I!

 

 

 

 

It’s Only a Month

It’s amazing that I can have run a half marathon literally less than a month ago and feel so out of shape.   I ran a good race too.    I need to get it back together.    I need to get back to not being out of breath and sweating like I’ve just ran a half marathon after teaching a gymnastics class.   Literally drenched in sweat today.

I remember when I was training for my 50K that I ran 6 days a week.   My short run was 5 miles.

Good Times.

Now I’m not saying that I want to get out every day for 5 miles, but I do miss the feeling that I could if I wanted to that I could.    I also know that I need to get back into better cardio shape which might help.   My schedule has not been my own lately, but I’ve decided that I need to stop making excuses and get it together.

So I’m thowing down the gauntlet.

I’m going to start streaking.

Now those of you that know me personally know that I’ve really never been into the concept (for me) of streaking.    I know people who have been streaking for years and I am in awe of them, but have never felt like joining in the crazy.    I’ve done streaks of working out every day, but never running.

Until now.

Although I do plan to limit my crazy.   It will be for 30 days.   Actually 28 because I started 2 days ago.   A minimum of a mile a day for the next month.   I think this might be just what I need to get back on track

This is really something that hopefully should be relatively easy to keep too.   Monday, I start coaching elementary track 4 days a week.   So it should be easy enough to get my mile in those days since I will already be in running attire and out of the house.    There will be challenging days some that I already know of and some I’m sure will crop up unexpectedly but it’s only a month.

A lot can change in a month…..

Here’s hoping.

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Running through the Suck

Yesterday I went for my last long training run before I start to taper for the NY Half.    It was a good training run for a whole different reason than most.   It was good because as a whole it sucked.

Say what?

Going into the run…. I was tired form not getting enough sleep.   The day before I had screwed up with taking my medications.   On top of that on Saturday I had run hills had left my legs sore.

The run was a success for a host of reasons.   First, I pushed myself out the door to go.   Second, I did not shorten it and got the 11 miles in.   And lastly, I never gave up.

Aerobically I felt good on this run.   That is something because aerobically, I felt like I could keep going.   But the sore legs, feet hurting, and tingling from low calcium would have been valid reasons to stop.

BUT

I pushed through.   I stopped when needed to stretch.   I walked when needed to.   I used extra cal-ez and reminded myself to drink it which helped with tingles.   This run makes me realize that I will finish this half no matter what.   All runners no matter their health have good running days and bad one.   This is why we train.   So on those bad running days, we know that we can still get it done.

They say that to be a runner, you must learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.   Pain is not always your enemy.   You just need to know where the line between pushing through and when your body has had enough.   You can only do that by training.   Yesterday’s run was uncomfortable, but a good uncomfortable.

After the run, a friend texted me

“I am proud of you for running through the suck….. this is getting used to a different normal for you, and it is that much harder for you than another runner.”

And that my friends is why we train.

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March 18th

I’m still here.

I’m still training.

I’m still plugging away.

Some days are good and some days are crap.

I try to balance them out, so I don’t feel so bad and out of shape.

March 18th

March 18th

Seemed so far away, but is now so close.

Will I be ready?

Who knows.

I’m trying and that is all I can do.    I’m getting runs in when I can.    I still am only training for distance.   If anything, I am trying to get back to controlling my pace and not let it control me.    My pace currently is slow, but I keep running faster than I should.   If I continue to do that, things will not go well for 13 miles.   I keep telling myself that I just need to finish.  I keep trying to run at what was an easy pace in the past, but is a fast pace now.   It’s easier said than done to change that thought process.

Then I come across a blog post detailing the course and how so much harder it is from the old course.

Thanks.

Just thanks.

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Enough

We live in a world that is constantly telling us that we aren’t good enough.   Every magazine is filled with ads telling us how we can be better.   TV commercials are designed to show us what we need to be happy, fulfilled, and beautiful.    It’s all a lie.

We are constantly bombarded with messages that we are not enough.   That we need to be better.    That we need more to make us happy.    That we need to dress a certain way. That we need to look a certain way.   That the natural make-up free face isn’t enough.   That it is less fearful to inject poison into our skin than age naturally.   It takes a toll.

In every society there are norms designed so that we can coexist.    Many of these norms are not only necessary, but make for a better world.   But many of these norms are a trap, not necessary, and make people feel dissatisfied with where they are in life.

I’ve been questioning things lately.   As I’ve been learning to Let Go of the Ego, I’ve been working on accepting not just my running life but so much more.   As a runner, I’ve always followed my own path so to speak.   I rolled into my first Marathon in Philly not having trained for a marathon but the Runner’s World Hat Trick.   Then only completed one 20 miler before running it.    All of my other marathons, I did not want to nor did I train running any 20 milers.   I just don’t like them.   That is not to say that I didn’t train.   I just did it the way that worked for me.

In life, I’ve also followed my own path.   Never really fitting in with just one space.   Doing my own thing.   As I’ve been trying to accept where I am in my fitness journey, I’ve  also decided that I needed to take it a step further.  I’ve decided that I am enough as I am.  It was time to face the world as I am and not as I’m told that I should be.  And although I’ve never been one to have a make-up routine that lasted more than a few minutes, going naturally is still scary.

So I decided to go for  it   I went out in the world as I am.   Although I will tell you that after two days totally free, I decided that I like a little mascara and Burt’s Bees lip balm with a little color.

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Here is what I learned……… No one turned away in disgust.   Ha.   No one commented.   No one asked if I was ok because maybe I didn’t look the same.   No one even cared.  Now

Now I’m not saying that I will never wear make-up again.   What I am saying though is…

I am enough.

You are enough.

Don’t let the world define you.

Define yourself

It’s Time to Get Serious

Without goals it is hard to know which direction to take.   You wonder aimlessly without a purpose.    It is time that I stop wondering and start seriously thinking about where I want to go in 2018.   It is time to set some realistic goals.   It is time to start pushing myself again.   It is time to  get serious.

Yes, I’ve had a lot going on and I’m still working some things out.  Yes, things are different but that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t have hopes, dreams, and goals.  It is time to get out of my own way, step out of my comfort zone and start pushing myself again.   I won’t know how far I can go by sitting on the sidelines.

It’s time to get real…..

NYC Half Marathon March 18

Last time I ran it, I squeaked in just under 2 hours.   It was my goal and I pushed myself to do it.  Hard training.   Fast paces.  Lots of sweat. I even took a few selfies while doing it.

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  This time around with the way things are this will not be my goal.   That doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t have a goal.     I’m once again throwing down the gauntlet….. Ready…..

I want to go into this race fully trained.   Run it to the best of my current ability.   Not compare it to where I was in the past.   Push myself.  Finish it.  And most of all enjoy the experience.

This seems like a fantastic goal which means that I have to start training and actually train.   This is not a race not to enjoy.

I am not even going to entertain a timed goal right now.   What I am going to do is train.   Train. And Train some more.   I’ve recently been running but nothing more than I think 6 miles in the last month.    I’m going to figure out a training schedule and stick to it.

Simple enough, Right?

My head is finally clearing.   I know it wont’ be easy.   I know there will be days that I don’t want to do it.   I know there will be frustration, sore muscles, and everything in between but I want this.   I really, really want this.

So for today, I’m throwing it all out there.

I am a runner.   I can do hard things.   Life is not easy and anything worthwhile requires you to work for it.

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