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Money and Time

Often when you read about how to be healthier or loose weight, it is all about food choices and exercise. Now OBVIOUSLY those two are what is necessary to maintain a healthy lifestyle, weight, and effect our health the most. What I keep finding though is that what is often missed in these discussions is the MONEY and the TIME it takes to eat healthy. Now studies have shown that obesity and poverty are associated. I am not going down that rabbit whole today. If you are uncertainty of that correlation, there are many valid peer reviewed studies on it.

This post is about me (as most of them are) and those that can relate. This is about those of us who do not fall into the above mentioned category of poverty but still struggle. Yes, it is diet and exercise. Yes, I can choose to have a healthy salad for lunch instead of quickly throwing together a PB&J sandwich or going through a drive through. I know that. I can eat a well balanced home cooked salmon dinner instead of ordering a pizza…….but I’m tired.

Let’s face it…. It is hard to eat healthy. It shouldn’t be, but it is.

Why? Oh why?

Yes….. It’s Money!!!

I have been starting my day off with a healthy smoothie for a while now. Do you know the cost of good fruit? Even frozen. Then you add in the yogurt, protein powders and such and it all adds up. And I am bot even talking about going organic because thats a rich mans game for family. And this is only breakfast. Why is a healthy salad or salmon dinner more expensive than picking up a burger or a bowl of pasta? Then we are not even getting into snacks……

Yes…… It’s Time!

We are all going a million directions where as they say time is money. I have my morning smoothie game down pat where it doesn’t take me a long time now but that being said, I also don’t have a 9 to 5 job. Luckily for me, I don’t go into work until 1:00 affording me time in the morning to have my smoothie and if I plan a healthy lunch. Dinner though is another thing when I am getting home tire at 6:30. It really is much easier and faster to throw something together processed and filled with carbs than cutting fresh ingredients. Also lets not forget that the fresh ingredients are more expensive. Honestly cooking healthy meals is more time consuming than opening a box and we can all agree with that

With all this being said…..

For me since my kids are older giving me more time……..

For me since I can afford to make the healthier choices without effecting my bottom line for the most part…

It honestly and 100% comes down to will. Some days I have it. Some days I don’t. Some days I am just tired. Some days I just want to spend time cooking a healthy meal Some days it’s a mixed bag much like my entire life.

Here is the thing too. I am not striving for perfection. I know I will go through cycles where I follow a plan and some days I won’t. I also know that in the end all I can do is make the best choices on any given day. Some days that will mean a instagram worthy smoothie, salad, or healthy dinner. Some days it will mean eating fries out of a bag while downing an impossible burger.

Balance…..

Because as I’ve said before – None of us are getting out of here alive and we need to stop beating ourselves up over things that don’t really matter.

Balance

Because I know that I am lucky to be able to do what I can

Tip for the day

Stop beating yourself up because there are enough people in the world that will do it for you. Be your own BFF and have your own back knowing that you are doing the best you can

AND THAT IS OK!

Just For Fun

It’s been a rough few weeks. The ups and downs have been real……

UP

Mama is recovering from being in the hospital after her fall and blood clots. She has many doctors appointments in her future, but she if recovering at my sister’s in California. As a friend said, there are worst places to recover in. As an added bonus, she will have more time with her granddaughter and her new grandson. She is in good hands and is on the road to recovery even if the time it takes is longer than we would like. That being said, she is already baking cookies with granddaughter with help from other grandma.

So that is a huge stress relief and blessing.

Then we have also been dealing with family member who was battling Covid. Sadly the decision to place him in comfort care was the correct one and had the outcome everyone expected, but no one wanted. There is no positive to this story other than he is finally at peace and no longer suffering. Sometimes that is all there can be.

So with all of these stressors, it has been a lot.

Work = stress

Home = stress

Starting home baking business = stress

Life = stress

It was time to do something fun. Something stupid. Something just for me for no other reason than I wanted to do it….. And I did!

Months ago, I had signed up for a winter trail 5K. This event is just a silly fun event that also raises money for good cause.. The Squatchy Onesie Fest is just what it sounds like….. We ran in onesies! Now I will say that it was unseasonable warm which did make for a hotter run than it should be. The ground was muddy, icy, and fun to run all at the same time. I will also say the day after this event, we had a beautiful light snow which is how I initially envisioned this event when I signed up, but it was still perfect just the way it was.

It was just stupid hard fun that I didn’t think about and just enjoyed.

Just what I needed!

Case in point…

I will also say that every time I run the trails, I am reminded how much I really love running them and wish that I had more time to run them. I really need to do both more trails and more stupid just for fun events.

Life Goals

I was also reminded to not take everything so seriously. Just to let go. Have fun and not afraid to look stupid because in the end….. no one will remember your PR time, but they will remember your journey.

Failure to Launch

If you don’t try, you will never fail.

If you don’t leap, you will never fly.

If you continue on the same path, you will never go anywhere different.

Familiar is comforting. Same ole same ole is still the same. Same isn’t worse but it will most definitely get old, stale and boring. Why do you think the best marketing strategy is ”new and improved” because marketers know that we get tired of the same ole same ole.

Familiar is comforting but it will never get you anything different. Sometimes that is why we stay with it….. Change is hard. Change is scary. Familiar may not be what we want but if we dare ourselves to think about something different than that means that we have to do something different. You can’t follow the same ole path expecting different results because that is crazy, but….. but…. if we identify what we want different and don’t do anything about it…….. that is a sign of fear. So sometimes we dont even allow these thoughts…

Sometimes we don’t even allow ourselves to fully think about veering off the path because if we do than we know that we need to change course. Just the act of thinking about change is scary. Thinking about what goals would be and more importantly why is an act of revolt. Act of courage.

It is time to be brave. To recognize that failure is not missing a goal, but not actually creating them. To stand still while not striving for anything is failure.

Time to be brave.

Failure is an option, but the biggest failure is never actually reaching for what you want. Even worse never dreaming what you want.

Perfection is a Myth

I will be the first to admit that I am not perfect. I am far from it. I have many faults but I really don’t feel the need to list them. I also have many positive traits that I don’t feel the need to list. All that being said, we all know those that put forth the ”perfect life.” They have the perfect home. The perfect style. The perfect this the perfect that….. Blah…. Blah…. Blah….

Let’s be real, there is not such thing as perfect in the real world. Usually when you peel back the mask of perfection, you will see how imperfect it all is. The problem is that often no one bothers to look past the initial layer to see the reality of what striving for perfection cost. Perfection is an unattainable goal and often leads to frustration, giving up, or in some cases drastic measures (think of those celebs who went one cosmetic procedure to far).

In our workout routine or diet, the strive for perfection often leads to people walking away feeling like a failure. We think that we have to follow a strict diet and if we don’t follow to the letter T that we cant do it. Many times people who decide to get fit go gang busters…. Going to gym every day. Starting strong as they say. Then they get sore. They miss a workout. They can’t hit a pace in a run. They feel like they are too slow. That why bother because we just aren’t good enough. The strive for perfection often sets us up for failure.

I am to the point that I am realizing that striving towards “perfection,” towards unattainable goals, to comparing myself to not others but old versions fo me were setting me up for failure. My goal is no longer perfection, but only to be better and the best version of me. A realistic version. A version that I can live with. A version that is sustainable. A version that will never be perfect, never be more than it can be, and one that I can say I did my best.

I’ve been thinking along these lines with my nutrition. I have always said that my problem with diets is that if I get hit by a bus that I don’t want my last meal to be celery. Not that there is anything wrong with celery as I actually had it for snack last night, but you understand. I do not want to live my life feeling deprived. Striving for things that long term will not keep. So as I started thinking about my nutrition, I’ve realized that sometimes change while hard doesn’t always mean depriving myself. I want to develop a nutritional plan that I can live with, feel good about, that is healthy, and most of all sustainable. Also I know for a fact that I am not going to be giving up certain things and that is ok. Embracing the imperfection of moderation.

So far. So good.

The morning smoothies are still a thing and one that hubby and I look forward to. The thinking about what I am eating, when I am eating and why I am eating has been helpful. To be honest, the cravings for certain foods is lessoning. My boss gave me 2 caramel chocolate bars 2 weeks ago that are still uneaten. Not because I am depriving myself but because i just dont want them. That would be unheard of before. My morning coffee is now filled with an almond creamer instead of half and half or such. If you know me, you know I take my coffee seriously so this was a big step. But once I took that step, I realized that it was more in my mind than in the cup because my morning coffee still tastes like my morning coffee. This past week, I also made homemade cinnamon rolls for my family. They are delicious but I didn’t have one because I really didn’t want one. On the other hand, when I made Pumpkin donuts I did eat one. Just one and that was enough. No shame. No Guilt….. Balance.

I have also been taking this approach to my running. I have continued to walk the first few miles of my long run and the first of pretty much all. Then my goal is to keep the pace in the 12’s because that is where I realistically am. In being real with what I can do, how fast I can run, and what my body can do; I have actually been able to run better Striving for unattainable goals has been my downfall with my running. Working towards being the best I can be on each run has been making running both enjoyable and sustainable.

To be the best version you can be on any given day either in your nutrition, in your running or in your life will change day to day. The trick is to give yourself the grace you need to be that version. Accept the version that you are today and if it doesn’t live up to your expectations know that tomorrow is another day!

Taking Back The Keys

Part of being a passenger of life is abdicating responsibility and therefore accountability. If it is all out of our control, then nothing that happens is our fault. Not really the way it works. I realize that even though I had thought I was taking control, I had handed over the keys and just going along for the ride.

There is truth that with Hypoparathyroidism much is out of my control, but I also recently realized that I was giving up all control to it. That I was believing that due to the Hypopara that I just had to go along for the ride. That there was nothing that I could do That I just had to go along with the status quo. I was wrong.

I have talked about gaining the 20 plus pounds since becoming Hypopara. I’ve tried to loose it with no luck. So I just gave up. And this is not even about the weight but about health. For me this is now about my creeping up cholesterol, feet that are suffering from the extra weight, and now my sleep apnea.

This past week I took a step about taking back control and jumpstarting my healthy nutrition. I completed a five day healthy smoothie challenge which is just what is sounds like. Every morning instead of skipping breakfast or eating something filled with carbs an no nutritional value, I started the morning creating delicous, healthy, and power packed smoothies. They were yummy. They were easy to make and they also left to better choices later in the day.

Pineapple Mango Spinach Smoothie
Sweet Potato Pie Smoothie
Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana
Pineapple Banana Smoothie
Peanut Butter Banana Blueberry Smoothie

I found these to be a great way to start the morning and set me up for a better day. Come lunch, I was making healthier choices and I was thinking about what I was putting into my body instead of just aimlessly grabbing something.

One good choice can lead to another…….

How do you start your morning?

Golden Jet

Let’s first start off with if you want a fun semi action comedy, Central Intelligence is funny. Maybe it’s because I like The Rock or maybe it’s because Kevin Hart is so funny, but it’s one of those movies if it’s on tv you watch it. Anywho…….

Right now I am waiting for my new running shoes to come and I am not running until they come. I haven’t really been paying attention to them and even though I kept saying that I needed to get a new pair, I never did. I also didn’t realize how far gone they were. I think not having actual races last year where I would pay better attention that I just let things slide.

Exhibit A

As I said last post, I am rethinking my training anyway. Plugging through my 80/20 training book, but I am also thinking of non running training. Back in the day (and I mean 2015), I loved not just Crossfit but Cross training. I did Crossfit. I biked. I swam. I did Yoga. I worked with a Personal Trainer. I did group classes. Then I ran and then I ran and ran and ran and stopped doing anything else. So as I ease back into my running and training, I want to keep the balance that I used to have. I want to keep the balance for a few reasons.

  1. “A woman my age” really needs to have balance.
  2. Not that I am going to be as fast or am training for speed, but my best runs overall were when I was more diversified in my training.
  3. My body could really do with the steady stretching of yoga
  4. I miss having good arms and I’ve recently been told by one of my 3 year old students that I have “squishy arms.”
  5. I actually like cross training when I think about it and admit it

So here we are, me trying to become a less rounded person by being more rounded. I have been using an app not on a regular basis, but plan to for cross training. They have a free version which is fabulous. Although I admit the free version constantly reminds you that they have a paid version. That being said they have a whole slew of workouts for everyone and every mood. From meditation to kickboxing to strength training to no equipment and the list goes on. Now in order for me to commit to it, today I decided to buy the year subscription. Honestly for thirty bucks it is still a steal. That used to be my monthly gym fee.

So today I was doing a weight training and a Tabata workout. I had everything here to make it an intense workout. As I was beginning the workout and the instructor was talking about what weights to use. I was ready to grab the bigger weights that we have. I was reliving my Golden Jet moments when I used to be able to bench press. I’m not sure if I have my training journals from back in the day, but I know my deadlift and chest press totals were impressive. So today, I was thinking go for the big weights.

Golden Jet

Golden Jet

Golden Jet

Luckily I remembered that he landed face first when trying to live his glory days. So I dialed it down a notch or two. Guess what? I had a kick ass workout at the intensity that I should be out. So here is to working on a new Golden Jet flip but one that I am actually in a position to land safely.

A Small Step is still a Step Foward

I used to always use the expression

I not only used it, but I meant it. Well what if now I’m not so bold. If I don’t want to go big? If I don’t want to go bold? Yes, I do like the thought of going home, but before doing that I do want to do some stuff.

I remember when I first started running races and my son who was much younger at the time asked me if I was going to win. After laughing, I told him that not only would I not win but I wouldn’t even be close to winning. He looked at me puzzled and asked then why would I even do it. As runners, we know that is a loaded question!

Anyway….. at the time my answer was about pushing myself to do hard things and such. I’m not really there and haven’t been for a long time. Don’t get me wrong, I have been pushing myself to do hard things but the definition of hard has changed:)

So here is where I am………. Some days, I think…. I am going to get up and run. I am going to do xyz……. Then I don’t……. Then I beat myself up because I didn’t do xyz. You know that viscous cycle. That hamster wheal of shame. I want to get off the hampster wheal. I know that I don’t have the drive that I used to have. I don’t have it for many reasons. That being said, I am not ready to stop challenging myself.

This month will tell me a lot about what I want to do. It will give me some answers to is everything I’ve been fealing hypopara related. I’m going for a sleep study as there is a distinct possibility that some of my exhaustion might be due to sleep apnea. Like literally this morning after a full night sleep I woke up exhausted as did hubby due to my snoring. So we will see where that takes us. I am also doing my 24 hour urine test. If things look good, I would like to up my calcium as I am also tired of living in the low to under calcium levels. Plus as I do more physically, I also need to take more calcium. Your body uses more calcium too, but since your body regulates it you don’t even notice.

What I am thinking for this month is just reset number 1 million and 10. I have been reading the 80/20 training method and before I start it, I probably should finish the book but it seems promising. I also would like to start using all those weights that have been getting dusty. I know I am past my crossfit days, but I really do enjoy training with weights. Plus as they say…. A woman your age should strength train even if my days of massive weights are gone. I would like to do something every day….. Be it a mile walk, biking, yoga, strength training. I think mentally it will be good fo me. Plus I do know that physically it would be good too.

I think though, I am going to give myself some flexibility and lots of slack. Just small goals. No go big or go home goals. Just do something good for yourself and go home:). Small steps eventually get you to the end of the road too!

If ever you have suffered from depression, you learn that sometimes small steps will help you….. Get out of bed. Take a shower. Household chores…. Going to work……. Just going through the motions. Those that have suffered know that these small steps help them to get to a place where they can take the bigger step of dealing with it. Sometimes life really is about fake it till you feel it. And while I am not currently dealing with depression, I am going to utilize this same strategy to get me to the next step.

Waiting is the Hardest Part

We all know the expression…….

Good things come to those that wait

But what if we are tired of waiting? What if we have no patience? What if it comes in the wrong package? The wrong size? The wrong XYZ?

As a baker and gardener, I know the importance of waiting.

Waiting for the dough to rise….

Waiting for the cake to cool before icing.

Waiting for the marshmallows to set.

Waiting….

Waiting…..

Waiting……..

As a gardener, I also know the importance of putting in the work and waiting. Planting in the fall. Months and months go by and nothing. Seeing the buds grow in the the Spring. Patience and waiting for finally a full bloom.

So with all that being said, it’s not like I don’t have patience. That I don’t know that really good things do come to those that wait even if it might not be as expected.

I will wait for baked goods.

I will wait for flowers.

I will even wait for family, friends, kids and on and on the list goes….

So why am I so impatient with myself?

Why do I expect results immediately? Why do after just a brief amount of time do I stop waiting, maybe give up, change plans, and move on to something else? The self fulfilling prophecies. Maybe it’s time to learn a little more patience.

Season of Our Life

After my last post, Olderrunner2 commented about “different stages of our life.” It reminded me of something my Mother ALWAYS said and still says about “The Seasons of her life.” She has used this espression for as long as I could remember. To be honest, I always found it somewhat annoying especially because often it was comparing which seasons we were in and her missing where I was at. When you are in midst of a harsh winter (think when you have 3 boys under the age of 6, you are only thinking about Spring). She would say to me, “Well I am at a different Season. You are in best Season of your life. While we obviously in different seasons, I’m not sure there is a best just different.

To be honest though, I never really got what she was saying and because we always were talking about her season, I never really thought about how mine would change. I never really got it.

I think I am starting to.

I always talk about the only real constant in life is change. That being said, I often think about it in small terms…. Not the season of life terms. Sometimes you think you are ready for all the changes, only to realize that you didn’t understand what was changing. Not that change is bad, but that you weren’t 100% prepared for it.

I think that is where I am now. Why I have been blowing in the breeze a bit. It is time to start thinking about what season that I am in now and prepare for it.

Stay tuned……..

Tomorrow is Another Day

We don’t do this as often as we should. We don’t do this on a regular basis. Often we work against ourselves over and over again.

March I hit 100 miles and I thought….. Let’s keep this going. I thought that maybe for April that I would streak a minimum of a mile a day. Run at least 5 miles 3 times a week and maybe just keep plugging along. Well apparently, I don’t like to be told what to do even by myself. The streak lasted less than a week. I ended up with 41.5 miles for the month. Obviously not the month of running that I was anticipating or expected.

Oh well.

Like seriously….

Oh well.

We live in a You Only Live Once society. A grab a bull by the horns society. Let me say, I’ve been chased by a bull as a teen and no one wants to grab a bull by the horns. You run like Hell from it and wish you weren’t the slowest runner. I guess some things never change but that is a different story. Anyway….. We live in a do what feels good for today society and the Hell with tomorrow because tomorrow is another day and may never comes. It is all fun and games until reality comes crashing down you realize that YES, YOU DO ONLY LIVE ONCE AND IT IS TOO PRECIOUS TO WASTE.

YOLO sounds like a great life motto until you realize that you really do only have one life to live and it is too precious to waste. You need to care for it. You need to respect it. You do need to fill it with things that make you happy, but you also need to realize that tomorrow is another day and you need to be prepared for it.

I saw a car today that had a magnet that said, “Please be patient. Student Driver.” It got me thinking that it is sad that we have to remind people to be patient no matter the reason, but on top of that we need to remind ourselves to be patient with ourselves too.

I bounced back and am already at 20 miles for the month of May. I’ve been plugging along and running a lot of personal 5K’s. I have been running them on my treadmill. I’ve been running them outside. I’ve been walking. I’ve been running. I’ve been doing a mixture of both. I am getting my head back in the game. I am just figuring out which game it will be. I haven’t really been overthinking it which is my MO. Just going with the flow….. Let’s just see where that takes me.

One thing that I will say…… I miss racing. But for now…. For this week….. For today……. I will just run.