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10 DAYS

Oct27

It’s funny, last year my sole focus was on completing the 9 plus 1 to be able to run the New York City Marathon this year.   Now I am in the final stretch.   Literally.   10 days till me and 50,000 of my closest friends stand at the starting line of one of the most iconic marathons ever.

You know what?

I don’t feel like I’ve got the level of excitement that I should.   I’m actually quit passive about it.   I haven’t put any real thought into what I’m wearing, logistics, or even my race plan.   Thankfully I’ve got a plan on how to get to the start line, but really that is only because one of my friends put together a car service for us.   If not, I might still be wondering about that.   So regardless of what I’m wearing, how I’m getting home, or even what my pace is at least I know I will be at the starting line when I should be.

I’m really not sure what is wrong with me.   I’ve been asked by a few people if I’m excited about running and I’m like Eh.   WTF.    The thing is I want to be excited.   I know I should be excited, but I’m just not there yet.   It seems so unreal to me.   Maybe that is part of the problem.

I think another issue is that I have started to think about my goals.   I’ve been thinking about those A, B, and C goals.   I’ve been thinking about how my training has been.   I’ve been thinking about MCM last year.   I’ve been wondering if I will ever be able to break that elusive 4:30 mark.   It doesn’t help that when trying to figure it out, my Garmin gives me what I and anyone who knows me knows this is a bat sh*t crazy prediction finish time.

predictorHere I’m wondering if I can run a 4:30 and this is giving my a Boston Qualifier time for my age group.   This does me no good.

As a side not for those interested, here are the time qualifiers for 2018 marathon from the Boston Athletic Association.

Age Group Men Women
18-34 3hrs 05min 00sec 3hrs 35min 00sec
35-39 3hrs 10min 00sec 3hrs 40min 00sec
40-44 3hrs 15min 00sec 3hrs 45min 00sec
45-49 3hrs 25min 00sec 3hrs 55min 00sec
50-54 3hrs 30min 00sec 4hrs 00min 00sec
55-59 3hrs 40min 00sec 4hrs 10min 00sec
60-64 3hrs 55min 00sec 4hrs 25min 00sec
65-69 4hrs 10min 00sec 4hrs 40min 00sec
70-74 4hrs 25min 00sec 4hrs 55min 00sec
75-79 4hrs 40min 00sec 5hrs 10min 00sec
80 and over 4hrs 55min 00sec 5hrs 25min 00se

Anyway, I know that I am not a Boston Qualifier.  I don’t really understand how the Garmin comes up with their predictions because they are all way off.   I’ve got two road marathon’s under my  belt, one trail marathon, and let’s not forget the 50K.   I know that I can go the distance.   What I’m starting to wonder though if mentally I can push myself enough when it gets hard.   And it does get hard.   Very hard.   I have a tendency to be too nice to myself during a race.   It is supposed to be hard.   I am supposed to push myself and now I’m wondering how far I should push.   I don’t want to crash and burn, but I don’t want to hobble away after the race thinking that I could have done more.

No, not 3:50 more, but at least 4:30.

I guess it is getting real now.  I think that is why there is no excitement, because where there should be excitement there is doubt and a fear of failure.

fear

As I like to say….

It’s go time.

Time to put all these doubts, fears, and anything else that’s holding me back to bed.   Time to move forward confident in my training, in my coach, and in my abilities.

Easier said than done, but it’s time to try.

What’s holding you back?

Dreaming the Possible Dream

Jan21

If you recall last year I was chasing that little thing called the 9 plus 1.   For those who don’t know what that is (even though I know you all do), it is a way to qualify for the New York City Marathon the following year.  I am lucky enough to live close enough to NYC to have made this a viable way for me to get in.   It is not “hard” to do, but it is a commitment of both time and effort.   Thanks to my running friends, I was able to do it!

Now the thing with doing the 9 plus 1 is that even after you complete it, you still must register for the marathon or all that hard work is for naught.   Registration for the 2016 opened today at 12:00.   I believe that I completed my registration by 12:15.   It’s a strange exciting feeling to know that I will be running the New York City Marathon this year.

It’s funny I never imagined that I would ever run a marathon.   Then when I started to think about it and get caught up in the excitement of my fellow Mama runners, I thought well maybe I will one day run the NYCM and check marathon off my bucket list.   Yet, now I’ve done 3 marathons to date and New York will be my 4th.  That being said, I’m looking forward to being able to say that I’ve done New York.   Come on it’s like the expression says, “If I can make it there, I can make it anywhere!”

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I know that NY will be different than the others.   I know NY will hold a special place in my heart as my love for running and some amazing friendships have been developed chasing the dream.   The good thing about dreams though is that reality is always so much more than you imagined.

I am also so excited that I am now one step closer to NYCM as could be shown by how quickly I registered today.

I once thought that NY would be it for me.   That I would hang up my running shoes next to my medal and put the crazy business of running behind me.   Then I realized something…..  There is no putting this behind me.   There is no going back.  I’m an addict.      It apparently is now in the blood.   I will continue to run.    I will continue chase other dreams.   Dreams that have not even been dreamed yet.

What do you dream of?

 

Another Year Down

Jan6

As I plan for 2016, I paused to look back on 2015 and I have much to be proud and thankful of with my running.  Sometimes I still can’t believe how far I have come.  Sometimes I still can’t believe that I am a runner as that is not something I ever could have imagined.   I am not the same though.   People evolve, grow, and change.   Even so, sometimes I forget that.   Believe it or not some days,  I still struggle with calling myself a runner which is kind of head scratching when I look at my running history.   Last year alone, I ran many events including a marathon.   On top of that I ran 1000 miles.   Yet with all of these miles, I still struggle to call myself a runner.  I might be a little mental…..

I’m not fast enough.  I don’t know enough.   I’ve walked in both marathons that I’ve completed.  ect, ect, ect.

Then I remind myself that none of that matters.    If any of my running friends said these things about themselves, I would shut them down.   The same should apply to me…

I am a runner because I say I am.   I am a runner because I run no matter the pace or distance.  You don’t need to be the fastest to be a runner, you just need to be running.

Year

This is one of the reasons that I display my bibs, medals, and running pictures in my office area.   It is a reminder to me of what I can accomplish if I dare to dream and I tend to dream big:)  I also did a decent job of completing some of my goals for 2015.   I didn’t complete them all which I’m ok with because I completed them all in one year then my goals weren’t challenging enough.

Here is the run down…

  1. Complete the 9 plus 1 for NYCM entry – Check.   Not only did I complete it, but I had such a great time doing it!
  2. Run a Half Marathon in 2 hours – Nope.   This one didn’t fit into my training plan as I was working more on endurance not speed.   This year it will be back on the table.
  3. Complete the Iron Girl with better time than last year – Didn’t meet this goal which really wasn’t a surprise as I did not train enough on the swim or the bike.   I think this race will now be delegated to a run event where time doesn’t matter.
  4. Run my first trail Half – I did this one well before I realized I would.   I ran in in January and it was a surprise to me:)
  5. A Bib a month challenge –  With chasing the 9 plus 1, this one wasn’t that hard to accomplish. The hardest month to complete was actually February as February races in the east are hard to find.   I ended up doing a virtual race with my MRTT group.   Although I did add the Jingle Bell Jog in December to finish it off.   Normally, I would not race in December.
  6. Run the MCM – Semper Fi!!    Would love to do this one again as it really was a great event.

Now time to reflect on goals for 2016.   Some I can’t believe I’m not only dreaming about but already signed up for such as a 50K!     But that’s for another day.   Today is a day of refeclecting.   Tomorrow is the day for planning:)

How did you do on your 2015 Goals?

 

Living the Dream!

Oct13

As you read yesterday, I ran the Staten Island Half this past weekend.   What I didn’t mention in this post though is that I did it!   Now I don’t mean I did the Half because you know that already.    I mean that I completed my 9+1 plan!!!!!

9+1

Words truly do not express how I feel about this.    It is like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders as this has been months in the making having started this journey in January with Fred Lebow Half and ending with the Staten Island Half.   The cherry on top is that not only did I qualify for running THE NEW YORK CITY MARATHON in 2016, but also the NEW YORK CITY HALF!!

Now, I know that I could not have completed this task alone.  I would not have been able to do it.   As the saying goes, “I get by with a little help from my friends.”   In this case, I got by with a lot of help from my friends.   First of all this is the amazing group of women who inspired me to push myself not only in my running but to push myself to dream of doing things I would have never thought possible for me.   These are the women who showed me that with hard work and dedication I can do anything I set my mind to.   These are the women who took a newbie under their wings when I didn’t even know anything about needing actual pace for a race.   Remember my story of my first half?    I have to admit that although there is still so much that I don’t know, I am no longer a newbie.   They helped me in ways they don’t even know by never making me feel less because I am slower than them or didn’t know what I was doing.   They shared themselves and their knowledge so willingly with me.  These are also the women who without making it so fun to run, I would have stopped.   Yes, I now love to run.   Yes, I now need to run, but that all started with this group of women who got me to this point.    There is also the logistics factor because with them I was able to make it to these races.   Yes, I probably could have done it without them, but I’m not really sure that I would have wanted to or it would have been so easy to do.   These are also the women that I have so much respect, admiration, and love for.

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As we all know, I did not grow up dreaming of one day running the New York City Marathon.   I was someone who grew up hoping not to be picked last in gym class, but that is the beauty of growing up.   You realize that all that doesn’t matter because you no longer need to wait to be picked for anything life has to offer.  You create your own future, dreams and if you work hard enough anything is possible.   I may have come late to the party of wanting to run the NYCM, but I have now made that dream a possibility.   It is in my reach and I just need to wait because it will happen.   Although, I’m really not one to sit around and wait for things to happen anymore.   So in the meantime, I’ll be out chasing other dreams.

What are your dreams?