Tag Archive | goals

Setting Goals

Jan2

Yes it is that time of year for goal setting. That being said, I would be doing all this if it was June. I am ready. So here we are……. One week in.

What a difference a week makes.

  1. Working on my diet. Healthy smoothies in the morning. More water. More salads. Less processed foods. It’s a work in progress with progress being the key word. Small changes that can be sustained.
  2. Downloaded a 12 week wall pilates program on an app (Reverse Health). For the $30 fee, I feel like it will be worth it. My goal is to carve the 20 minutes out a day. So far. So good, but its been 3 days:)
  3. Started doing some running again. Even ran a New Years Day 5K with friends. This lead me to another goal…. In June there is a Downtown Run into Summer 5K. MY GOAL NOW IS TO RUN THIS RACE WELL….whatever that means. Not time, but the way I feel. Although to be honest I would like to run it in under 35 minutes. I ran the Bethlehem Running Festival 5K in 40.17. So I think while a reach/stretch goal, it is not a crazy goal.

I have been reading a GREAT book by a running coach that I was very lucky to work with. The book is Running Past 50, Your Guide to Running Longevity and Success by Caolan MacMahon. (You can find it on Amazon and I highly recommend it). This book has been motivating me…..for me because I am lucky enough to know Caolan and have worked with her it really hits home. She was my running coach who got me through 2 marathons, a 50K and my one and only sub 2 half marathon. She is an amazing coach and her book speaks the truths coach’s need to say to thir athletes.

The below passage really spoke to me and I hear the truth of her words….

“But it takes time and willingness to develop a habit, which will also include breaking a habit. Habits can, of course, be “good” or “bad.” In this case, you want to develop a good habit, running , while breaking a bad habit, inactivity.”

This paragraph goes on with more information and really spoke to me. So much so that I have it bookmarked.

I have developed bad habits. Not just eating more processed and sugary foods than I should, but coming home from work and immediately sitting on the couch with my dog and a coffee. While this isn’t a bad thing, the timing is a bad habit because once your on the coach it is harder to motivate to do what needs to be done. So what I’ve been trying to do is inside of doing this to go for a walk after work or as in today do my wall pilates which today focused on abs.

So here is to making better choices in the new year. Here is to making healthy habits while replacing the bad ones.

Since this post is long enough, I will explain later how I plan to hold myself accountable.

Happy New Year!

Balance not Perfection

Dec30

I’ve been overweight for years now. I’ve talked about it before. The difference is that before the weight did not effect my life. My doctor never was concerned about it as it was consistent. At the time my high BMI was just that a high BMI. All my other numbers were good. There was no effect on my health.

I was what you would call a healthy fat.

My doctor even would comment that she was not concerned. Although being a doctor she would comment on the BMI, but then just shrug her shoulders.

This last appointment was different. I have now entered into the “unhealthy” fat stage. My cholesterol did lower, but part of that was my good cholesterol going down. She was also concerned about some other liver numbers, so she sent me for a liver ultrasound which backed up her thought of a fatty liver and she is concerned due to family history that I could also become diabetic. The ultrasound also found that I have gallstones.

This was my wake up call. That and the fact that I also gained another 15 pounds. I’ve also been experiencing more aches and pains. Lastly I realized that while my cardio is strong and I can go out to run pretty much without thought, I have lost flexibility and strength.

Time to change the game.

I admit the liver thing has been a wake up call. I’ve already started setting myself up for some success with healthier

Yes that is a cinnamon roll! I am going for balance not perfection!

So this is my goal. I am putting my health first. I even got a 2025 planner. My goal is to to add workouts (not just running) into it. With work and my night class starting mid January, I can’t just let things go unplanned. When I’ve done that the thing that without fail that always gets put last is workouts.

So here is to a healthier happy New Year. My initial goal is 15 pounds which will take me to where I was last year. From there we will see where things go.

What are your goals?

It’s a Number Game

Dec23

I always said weight is just a number on the scale. I always said that the number on the scale didn’t matter because all my other numbers were ok. I could run. I could hold my own, so the number on the scale didn’t matter………

Right up until it did.

I recently had my yearly physical. For the most part my numbers were still good.

Blood pressure…. Amazing

Cholesterol…… actually went down

Weight…. Up 10 pounds.

But if you look a little closer………

While my cholesterol when down, my good cholesterol went down almost 10.

My triglycerides also went up significantly, but still well with in the normal range. So there’s that.

All that being said, my triglyceride to HDL ratio also elevated. On top of that I had some results that made my doctor want to do a liver ultrasound. This determined gallstones and also a fatty liver. I don’t drink (really at all). So these results are do to having BMI in the obesity category.

Yeah, I know it…..

I don’t care about the scale. I care about all these other things. So AFTER the holidays because it’s not happening now, it is time to get serious.

Time to start taking care of these numbers. Time to turn things around. Besides, I’ve already signed up to do the Bethlehem Running Festival again next year. I also need to think of other goals I want to achieve.

So for now…. It’s time to enjoy the holiday, but know that it will then be time for new beginnings.

Happy Holidays.

Check

Oct22

It is not an exaggeration to say I was at my peak as a runner in 2016 before my surgery. I had only started running in 2013 with the couch to 5K. By 2106 I was on my 3rd marathon chasing a sub 4 marathon and even ran a 50K. I felt unstoppable. I was working with my running coach who helped me meet many goals even a sub 2 half marathon. I was even 25 pounds lighter.

I timed my thyroid surgery around running the 2016 NYC Marathon.. At this point we all know what happened so no need to rehash. (Search posts to see how crashed & burned). I even ran the Runners World Hat trick as training for NY.

Here is the thing though while I’ve never let my Hypopara stop me, sometime it beat me. In 2017, I signed up for at the time the Runner’s World Bethlehem Festival quadruple play. I ran the trail. I ran like I didn’t have Hypopara. I finished the trail race and called it a weekend. I just didn’t have it in me to run the rest of the weekend. It beat me. This was my first DNS (did not start) for the other races.

I admit that I wasn’t trained enough to even think of running 4 races. Hypopara was still to new to me. I didn’t fully understand it and how it affected my body. It took me years and I’m still learning as it is always different, but I’ve learned.

I always figured that I would go back, but then the event was cancelled. Then a few years later, they brought it back as the Bethlehem Running Festival. This is why this past race weekend was so important.

It wasn’t about the bling….. which is very nice.

It wasn’t about feeling like a badass….which I kinda do now

It wasn’t about anything….

It was about proving that I could do this… even with hypopara.

I can’t explain why this event was important for me to finish, but it was.

Next:)

Bringing My A Game

Oct20

The weekend is over. The races are done….. I’m still running on the high of the weekend. I couldn’t have asked for better weather and a better outcome.

Today was the last race of the Quadruple Play Marathon Challenge. I have to say that I wasn’t sure how the day was going to go since my left foot started hurting so much during the 10K yesterday.

After yesterday’s race, I soaked in jacuzzi tub with epsom salt. I rolled my foot. I used different creams and over the counter pain meds. Still I didn’t know what would happen today.

I went to ben early again last night. Probable in bed my 9:30 and asleep by 10. This after snoozing on the couch. Thankfully I woke up again on my own because my alarm didn’t go off. I got up a little later than I would have wanted, but it all came together. I got to the starting line with 20 minutes to spare.

The Bethlehem Running Festival does not have corrals. You pick where to start. I picked the back of the pack. I started between the 2:45 & 3:00 pacer. I knew I wasn’t at 2:45 but thought that was a good option.

The hills of Bethlehem Pa are no joke. Per my Garmin the elevation for today 373. I trained hills, but not Bethlehem hills. So my goal today was to watch my pace and be steady. I also did not walk downhills or flat parts of the course. I did walk, but so did the 3:00 pacer I was stealthily following from a distance.

As I’ve said before, I try not to add extra calcium when running but incorporate it into my running. Before starting, I took my morning dose of calcium and calcitrol a little earlier than usual. Then at mile 6 I took 250 mg calcium (half my afternoon dosage). Then at mile 8 I took the other half with my calcitrol. I also made sure to fuel and drink electrolytes. It seemed to work.

So I ran…..and ran…. And ran some more.

My foot had some discomfort today, but actually much less than yesterday which I don’t get. I will take it though!

Towards the end around mile 11, I realized that I would be close to a 3 hour half. I continued to be smart, but I did push at the end. I’m glad I did because I came in right under at 2:58:18.

I saw the pacer at the finish line area. She was running alone for a good deal of the race. As I said, I kept her in my site but did not run with her at all. I thanked her for pacing me even if she didn’t know it. Pacers are awesome.

More to come, but this is enough for now:)

Bringing My A Game

Mar19

When I worked with a running coach a few years ago, she always had me come up with 3 goals prior to an event.

A Goal – A goal within reach, but one that you need to work for

B Goal – A doable goal

C Goal – What is the minimum that you will be happy with.

So for the NYC Half, I kept these goals to myself. I knew going into my training that I really would like to run the half in under 3 hours. While training, I did not train for this goal so much as realize that this was within reach if I pushed just enough. I mostly trained by feel and heart rate. I made sure to do my training runs at a push and my long runs slower than I felt I could push. I always wanted to finish a training run like I could do more if needed. I usually did too.

One thing that I was very conscious of during my training is that I did not want to add extra calcium. What I tried to do was to time my daily calcium in a way to incorporate into my runs.

It has taken me some time since my surgery to get to this point, but I finally finally finally came to the mindset of………. I want to run, but I need to run smart. All the time. I can not push the pace to the point where I need to add more calcium. While it temporarily will feel right, long term it is not for me.

Since my surgery, I have been fighting high urine calcium levels. At it’s highest it was 578. (For those not Hypopara and unfamiliar anything over 250 is high. For Hypopara, your doctors try to keep it in around 300)……. Now it was at the highest, when I was taking .5 calcitriol twice a day with calcium through out the day. I also took extra calcium to run runs the way that pushed my body. My levels have come down, but even with being careful they are steadily going back up. I am currently at levels over 350.

So what does this mean…… basically these higher levels are hard on my kidney’s. I am lucky that currently I have had no kidney issues; BUT I say this as my kidney functions have moderate loss of function. Not enough that I would notice, but until a PTH (Parathyroid Hormone that regulates calcium & phosphate in body) I will need to continue to take medication to regulate. These help me function like a normal person but also are hard on the kidneys. I am not willing to push my kidneys to the limit to run a pace that matters to no one.

Seriously, who cares about my pace?

For a while after my surgery, I did. I wanted to maintain where I was prior to surgery. I wanted to pretend that the surgery and Hypopara didn’t change me, but the truth of the matter it did. It was also about pride. I wanted to run the paces that I could. No lie, I did enjoy pushing myself. Running a Sub 2 half (prior to surgery). Running 9 minute paces. Being a front of the middle runner.

Guess what?

I am no longer a mid pack runner. I am a back of the pack runner. I am starting in the last wave and in some cases the last corral.

Here is what I’ve come to realize though……

I am starting. I am running…… I am still me. Sometimes you have to swallow your pride. Put it aside and know that it only matters to you. When I was able to put pride aside, I was able to train where I am and not where I wanted to be. I was able to train smart. To listen to my body. To run smarter and not harder. By doing that, I was able to actually do what I wanted to do.

I put pride aside. I made a realistic goal. If I hadn’t made it, I would have been ok. But the fact that I made it shows that I am doing what I need to do. Most of all, I did it by working smarter and not harder.

So what does this mean….

This means more running in my future. I even signed up for a fall race. One that I did previously. The Hat Trick. A 5k & 10K on a Saturday followed by a half on Sunday.

Crazy?

Yes.

Exciting?

You bet…. Can’t wait.

Stay tuned because believe it or not, there is more to talk about regarding the NYC Half. Although this is enough for today.

Fear of Failure

Mar18

Fear of failure is motivating.

Fear of failure is debilitating.

Fear of failure can push us to hard or not hard enough.

It can make us stand still or push us forward.

The question though is who defines your failures?

Is trying and not succeeding failure or is not trying at all the failure?

It can also make you spread yourself too thin as I mentioned the other day.

But what if fear of failure has more to do more with fear of not. Being perfect.

You know the whole getting in shape befor eyou start going to the gym.

Worrying that you won’t hit a specific pace. That you aren’t what you think you should be.

Fear of failure can keep you from updating your blog because what if you put it out there and you swing and miss.

So yesterday I ran the NYC United Half Marathon. I went inot it fairly trained. I followed my training plan. I didn’t follow it by pace, but by heart rate, feel and distance. I put the miles in. I did what I needed to do to feel like I could “comfortable” run the distance.

I had a thought of what I wanted to run. My A goal was it be under 3 hours. Based on my paces from training, I felt that if I ran a smart race that it was an achievable goal. My B goal was 3:30. If the wheels fell off, just finishing.

I did it…….

I brought my A game.

There is more to this story which I will tell tomorrow.

For now though, I am happy to know that I didn’t let fear stop me from doing what I set out to do. I did it smartly. I did it with hard work. Most of all, I did it with a smile.

A Slow Ember

Feb18

I used to feel that I must give 100% to everything. Maybe even 110%. Just give it everything. Give it my all. The Go Big or Go Home mentality.

But what if I just want to go home? Ok not anymore, but that’s what happened. You can’t just give everything in your life 100%, because eventually you have nothing left to give.

I love to bake and have a home baking business…

I began a new career path becoming a preschool teacher in September working full time…

I like to run…

I have a family…

I have a life….

All of these things are important. All of these things pull at me. All of these things in the moment require 100%, but they can not consume me.

The problem was that was trying to do it all like the other things didn’t exist. Life does not take place in a vacuum. I never gave myself a break. I went from on thing to the next. I felt like I was failing at all of it because you can’t give it all 100% and have anything left for yourself. Maybe some of you can, but I can’t. Add to that my Hypoparathyroidism and my tank is usually not full anyway.

Balance. I’ve said it before. I will say it again.

Period.

Period.

Knowing when to say no. Knowing when you are at your limit. Knowing that it is Ok to enjoy things just for the sake of enjoying them. Knowing you get clarity when you step back and say…

ENOUGH

I love (not always and I do complain) to run, but that always went to bottom of list. This meant that I was at the bottom of the list. Running gives me time to both turn my brain off and give me time to think. If you are a runner, you get that. Yet, that always went to the bottom.

I also realized that while all the things I do are important, so are limits. Limits on the amount of time and energy I put into them. No matter how you slice is there are only 24 hours in a day. So learning to say no is ok. Learning to know when your plate is filled and also learning to plan things out o not to be overwhelming.

I am still working on this but one thing I need to remember is that if I should not be the last on the list. I don’t need to take every baking order that comes my way if it will not fit in my schedule. While my job is extremely important, I do need to give myself a break when I leave. I need to make time to make sure that I can do the things that I want to do.

I’ve been running. I’ve been making time. I’ve run a few 5K’s. I’ve made time to run with friends. I’ve been training. Today’s training was 8 miles in the cold.

I loved it. Nothing clears my mind like a good run.

So here is to running, finding balance and taking a nap on a Sunday afternoon.

More to follow soon as with this new found desire to find balance and do things for me, I have a goal. I may even have several goals. Goals that will help me retain my balance:)

It’s Go Time

Aug14

This year, I set a “simple” goal of completing one event either virtual or in person a month. We are on month 8 and so far so good. Most events have been in person. This month I have yet to decide on weather I will do an in person event at end of the month or a virtual one, but it will get done.

I’ve done these events because that was my goal for the year. I said it, so you know I was going to follow through. This was my only goal for the year and at the time I set it, that was enough.

It is no longer enough. While I am not ready to say I am jumping in to training for a marathon, I’ve realized that I want to do more. ( I will add with the heat this summer, my crazy schedule, and again the heat; I am so happy not to be training for anything!). I am also not saying that I will be doing one next year, but I am at the point I am questioning/thinking about the day I will be ready.

So with that being said, I’m planning for 2024. Thinking….. Do I want to do a marathon? Do I want to do 9 plus 1 to get into NYC marathon for 2025? Do I want to only run Half Marathon’s as a goal. What to do? What to do? Fortunately I have time to decide, but I also want to put myself in a position to be able to make these choices.

So short term but very real and concrete goals that need to be met to put me on the path for future goals.

Goal # 1 –

I need to loose a minimum of 20 pounds.

Will it be easy? Hell no.

Do I like tracking my food? Not in the least.

Is making this a goal necessary? You bet.

I am the heaviest I’ve every been non pregnant. And while I don’t really care about my round belly, I also know that it is not good for me for multiple reasons. So it is time, I do something about it. Like everyone, I know it won’t be easy, my metabolism is a zero and with Hypopara it can be more challenging.

Here’s the thing……. I CAN DO HARD THINGS.

So game on. One week in and it seems to be working. I’m tracking which is getting me thinking about my choices.

If I want to get myself into a position where I have choices to run longer, I need to get my weight down as for me it will have an impact on running with my feet issues.

Goal # 2 –

RUN & Cross Train

While I don’t know what my last event this year will be, I want to run it and run it comfortably. Run a 5K as a 5K. Also this will put me into a position to decide what goals I want to set next year.

On top of tracking my food, I started challenging myself to close all of my rings on my apple watch. Not just calories burned, but also completing 20 minutes of exercise a day.

I also know that I ran my best when I did more than just running. So I need to as I work on my running, cross train. I literally have a full gym in my garage. So I need to use it! I have started a Fiton program to do that

Goal # 3

Start all of this where I am today not where I was and realize that I will get where I need to go. You don’t start driving in 4th gear, so I can’t start this program where I want to be.

Reality is what it is and when you don’t live in it that is when you will have issues.

Almost one week down and so far so good. Yeah, I know it’s only been a week; but you must celebrate your successes. One week at a time. Sometimes one day at a time.

Just Put on the Shoes

Jul23

Giving up is a choice.

Starting is a choice.

Waiting, ignoring and waiting some more to start is also a choice.

I feel like I am always waiting for the shoe to drop. Waiting. Wondering. When is it going to drop and what will happen when it does.

Here is the thing. What if I stop waiting for the shoe to drop and put them on and just run with it.

Easier said than done, but I’m trying.

What you do when no one is watching is more important than when you have an audience. (I know that is pretty funny being as I’m writing this for my blog, but there are only a handful of you who read. So I’m good:) )

Here is the thing…. Everyone is doing their own thing. Focused on their own goals, dreams, and trying to figure out their own path. No two paths are ever the same even if they are parallel. Everyone also has a reason for where they are on their path.

For me….. (I know broken record)……. I was in a good place right before my thyroid surgery and becoming Hypopara. I was running the fastest I’ve run (the whole sub 2 NYC Half). I was at a good weight. I was also running longest distances with not just a marathon but completing my one and so far only 50k. Things were good. Right up until they weren’t.

Isn’t that the same for everyone though. No one knows what will happen in their lives. No one can predict with certainty where they will be, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t still decide where they want to go. I forgot that……

I’ve given up on having control thinking that my weight, my running, my everything was out of my control due to Hypopara, age and metabolism. Treding water just thinking that was all I could do. Silently struggling and not even knowing I was taking on water?

Often you don’t realize how much you have been struggling until you get to the side and hold on, looking back and thinking about the struggle. We live in a society where strength is revered. Being a Bad Ass is a complement. We are told to power through and push through. Never being told that we need and should take a moment to breathe.

It is only when we exhale, can we see how much we needed the air.

So here I am on the exhale realizing that I’ve been waiting for change to happen…… Yes, I’ve met with nutritionists, I’ve gone through motions,, I’ve complained, I’ve lamented, I’ve waited and waited and waited…… I’m not sure what I was waiting for, but think I finally realized what I was waiting for……….

I was waiting for me.

I was waiting for me to be sick and tired of making excuses even if they are valid. I was waiting to get the fire back that I was trying to force myself to have. I was waiting to decide that I’m not just going through the motions, but that I want to do them. I was waiting to decide that I am ready to set goals and actually stick to them. I was waiting to exhale.

So here I am setting concrete goals, working toward them and realizing that I will be doing them because I actually want to and not because I feel like I need to. My first event was almost 10 years ago. I had fire. I had drive and I had will and it was all internal.

I am there again.

Stay tuned……