This past week I feel good about all that I accomplished. Going into this training plan, I recognized that I would not be able to follow it to perfection. that being said, I do want to follow the training days if possible even if I don’t follow the miles. I feel for a variety of reasons that it is not in my best interest to run every run. I plan to substitute biking for running, some elliptical and who knows maybe even swimming. The swimming might be a stretch.
As I’ve said before, this plan is to train to run on tired legs. Ha! Anyway, I only missed one workout this week. I did switch training days, biked instead of ran, and just did what needed to do.
I am trying to go into this training also by not adding any extra calcium to my daily intake. When I first became hypopara, I trained like I had no issues. To be honest, I had not because I was keeping my serum calcium levels up, adding extra calcium for long runs and just going about business as usual. Right up until I took my first 24 hour urine test and it was well over 500. I’ve adjusted, but since being Hypopara the only time my 24 urine test came back normal was when I was on Natpara. As for now, levels while still hi9g are in the mid 300’s. I’ve been lucky so far not to have nay issues with these high levels. Except, of course, for the anxiety it brings.
So with my training, I don’t want to add extra calcium just for the sake of adding it. I’m will add if necessary if I feel like my levels are dropping. You know that whole guessing game since there is no at home calcium test. Anyway, this means I will try to plan my training around when I’m taking my pills. So far so good. I’m sure once I go for longer runs I will need to adjust. Adjust here. Adjust there.
Sunday run. Taking on some hills too.Literally dripping when done
I have been also working on controlling pace. A work n progess
This week coming up, I already know instead of an 8 mile run that I will turn that into a 24 miles on the bike. From what I could find online the ratio is 3 bike miles to 1 running miles. That is what I’m going with.
Felling good. Tired, but a normal tired and that is all I can ask for. I’m falling asleep as I type this, so I think it’s time to say goodnight.
Hello…… It’s been a hot minute. I thought I gave up blogging. I really didn’t think I had much to say anymore. I didn’t think anyone would miss it. Then I remembered that I started this blog for me and I missed it.
I think one of the reasons that I stopped blogging is because I didn’t really know where I fit in. When I started this blog, I was your average woman in her 40’s working on getting into shape by signing up for an event. I had goals. I had will. That’s what I blogged about. I was a middle of the pack runner who was driving to bbetter. I was making progress too. I had worked with a coach. I completed lots of events. I finished a 50K, multiple marathons and was training to run a 4 hour marathon. It was in reach.
Now I won’t get into how I blew it in 2016 running NYC Marathon like it was a half marathon and paying the price. I’ve already blogged about that. I had chances to correct that mistake….. or so I thought.
Two weeks after that race is when I had my thyroid removed. Those who have been here a while know that took me into the journey of Hypoparathyroidism. It has slowed me down. It has definitely put a speed bump in my path. It has done a lot, but what it has not done is cause me to give up.
It took a while, but I continued to push through. Learning along the way. While I continued to blog and train….. I wasn’t sure where I fit into it all. I wasn’t sure that those that were following my blog previously wanted to hear these new trials and tribulations because really they signed up for a running blog.
I tried…. I tried… I tried….. and tried some more. I just didn’t feel like I was being authentic with every post. This may have been why the posts became far and few between until they just stopped.
Again….. I never stopped.
I’m rebranding. If you’re looking for a traditional running blog, this may not be longer be where you want to be. Although truth be told, I’m not even sure who is her anymore….. The reason I like blogging is that often it feels like talking to myself. So if you’re here, please say Hello!
Hypopara is strange. It is the only time when the body is missing a hormone (PTH) where there is currently no FDA approved hormone replacement treatment available. It’s coming. So they say. Those of us in the Hypopara community have heard this before. We’ve had the rug pulled out from us when they took away Natpara. So we shall see and we shall continue to wait while going about our business.
Anyway, this blog will still focus on my running, but it is going to focus on my running as a Hypopara athlete. There is no one size fits all with Hypoparaa. Our bodies all handle things differently. Like everything in life, we each just do what we can. So if you are new to the blog as a Hypopara athlete, please say Hi too:)
Now that that is out-of-the-way…… Let me tell you what I’m up to.
I have just started training for a half marathon. This half is actually going to be used as a training run because my real goal is to complete the Quadruple Play Marathon Challenge…. NO IT IS NOT A MARATHON. It is a 3.8 trail run on Friday. Then Saturday a 5K followed shortly with a 10K. Then a Half Marathon on Sunday.
I have done this event before. More than once. I’ve done it Hypopara too. The last time I signed up for it, I was not ready. It broke me a little bit because it was my first and only DNS. I was not in a good spot with my calcium levels and training. I only was able to do the trail, 5k, & 10k. I never came back to do the Half. So there’s that. I’ve got something to prove. To no one else but myself.
When I worked with a running coach a few years ago, she always had me come up with 3 goals prior to an event.
A Goal – A goal within reach, but one that you need to work for
B Goal – A doable goal
C Goal – What is the minimum that you will be happy with.
So for the NYC Half, I kept these goals to myself. I knew going into my training that I really would like to run the half in under 3 hours. While training, I did not train for this goal so much as realize that this was within reach if I pushed just enough. I mostly trained by feel and heart rate. I made sure to do my training runs at a push and my long runs slower than I felt I could push. I always wanted to finish a training run like I could do more if needed. I usually did too.
One thing that I was very conscious of during my training is that I did not want to add extra calcium. What I tried to do was to time my daily calcium in a way to incorporate into my runs.
It has taken me some time since my surgery to get to this point, but I finally finally finally came to the mindset of………. I want to run, but I need to run smart. All the time. I can not push the pace to the point where I need to add more calcium. While it temporarily will feel right, long term it is not for me.
Since my surgery, I have been fighting high urine calcium levels. At it’s highest it was 578. (For those not Hypopara and unfamiliar anything over 250 is high. For Hypopara, your doctors try to keep it in around 300)……. Now it was at the highest, when I was taking .5 calcitriol twice a day with calcium through out the day. I also took extra calcium to run runs the way that pushed my body. My levels have come down, but even with being careful they are steadily going back up. I am currently at levels over 350.
So what does this mean…… basically these higher levels are hard on my kidney’s. I am lucky that currently I have had no kidney issues; BUT I say this as my kidney functions have moderate loss of function. Not enough that I would notice, but until a PTH (Parathyroid Hormone that regulates calcium & phosphate in body) I will need to continue to take medication to regulate. These help me function like a normal person but also are hard on the kidneys. I am not willing to push my kidneys to the limit to run a pace that matters to no one.
Seriously, who cares about my pace?
For a while after my surgery, I did. I wanted to maintain where I was prior to surgery. I wanted to pretend that the surgery and Hypopara didn’t change me, but the truth of the matter it did. It was also about pride. I wanted to run the paces that I could. No lie, I did enjoy pushing myself. Running a Sub 2 half (prior to surgery). Running 9 minute paces. Being a front of the middle runner.
Guess what?
I am no longer a mid pack runner. I am a back of the pack runner. I am starting in the last wave and in some cases the last corral.
Here is what I’ve come to realize though……
I am starting. I am running…… I am still me. Sometimes you have to swallow your pride. Put it aside and know that it only matters to you. When I was able to put pride aside, I was able to train where I am and not where I wanted to be. I was able to train smart. To listen to my body. To run smarter and not harder. By doing that, I was able to actually do what I wanted to do.
I put pride aside. I made a realistic goal. If I hadn’t made it, I would have been ok. But the fact that I made it shows that I am doing what I need to do. Most of all, I did it by working smarter and not harder.
So what does this mean….
This means more running in my future. I even signed up for a fall race. One that I did previously. The Hat Trick. A 5k & 10K on a Saturday followed by a half on Sunday.
Crazy?
Yes.
Exciting?
You bet…. Can’t wait.
Stay tuned because believe it or not, there is more to talk about regarding the NYC Half. Although this is enough for today.
There is something to be said about waiting until you are ready to do something to actually start. There was no dread today. There was no, “I’ve go to go out for a run today,” said with dread.
None of it.
Today was a “I am going to go out for my run as soon as I’m done with my coffee” kind of day.
I can tell it has been a hot minute since I’ve seriously run as I couldn’t find my Garmin. Still can’t. Still looking, but I also didn’t let that deter me or stop me from getting out the door.
I was excited. It was a perfect day for running. The not too hot. Not too cold kind of day. No jacket required. At least for me as I always run hot.
My NYC Half training plan stated with a 3 mile run and that’s what I did. I didn’t watch pace, but did keep it as a conversational pace which I 100% did as I was on the phone the whole time! I walked when I got out of breath, but for the most part stayed at a stead pace.
Not too shabby if I do say so myself!
In all seriousness….. Not too shabby. I have not been doing anything unless you count testing and eating Christmas cookies. I’ve done a few walks, but have not run since I really don’t know when. Hopefully this is the beginning of a good training cycle.
I’ve got a plan loaded into Training Peaks. I am doing the Hal Higdon Novice 1, because let’s face it…..I am starting from scratch.
One day at a time…. One run at a time…. One workout at a time.
This is what it feels like to have fire again:)
This is what it is like to remember to show up for yourself.
Waiting, ignoring and waiting some more to start is also a choice.
I feel like I am always waiting for the shoe to drop. Waiting. Wondering. When is it going to drop and what will happen when it does.
Here is the thing. What if I stop waiting for the shoe to drop and put them on and just run with it.
Easier said than done, but I’m trying.
What you do when no one is watching is more important than when you have an audience. (I know that is pretty funny being as I’m writing this for my blog, but there are only a handful of you who read. So I’m good:) )
Here is the thing…. Everyone is doing their own thing. Focused on their own goals, dreams, and trying to figure out their own path. No two paths are ever the same even if they are parallel. Everyone also has a reason for where they are on their path.
For me….. (I know broken record)……. I was in a good place right before my thyroid surgery and becoming Hypopara. I was running the fastest I’ve run (the whole sub 2 NYC Half). I was at a good weight. I was also running longest distances with not just a marathon but completing my one and so far only 50k. Things were good. Right up until they weren’t.
Isn’t that the same for everyone though. No one knows what will happen in their lives. No one can predict with certainty where they will be, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t still decide where they want to go. I forgot that……
I’ve given up on having control thinking that my weight, my running, my everything was out of my control due to Hypopara, age and metabolism. Treding water just thinking that was all I could do. Silently struggling and not even knowing I was taking on water?
Often you don’t realize how much you have been struggling until you get to the side and hold on, looking back and thinking about the struggle. We live in a society where strength is revered. Being a Bad Ass is a complement. We are told to power through and push through. Never being told that we need and should take a moment to breathe.
It is only when we exhale, can we see how much we needed the air.
So here I am on the exhale realizing that I’ve been waiting for change to happen…… Yes, I’ve met with nutritionists, I’ve gone through motions,, I’ve complained, I’ve lamented, I’ve waited and waited and waited…… I’m not sure what I was waiting for, but think I finally realized what I was waiting for……….
I was waiting for me.
I was waiting for me to be sick and tired of making excuses even if they are valid. I was waiting to get the fire back that I was trying to force myself to have. I was waiting to decide that I’m not just going through the motions, but that I want to do them. I was waiting to decide that I am ready to set goals and actually stick to them. I was waiting to exhale.
So here I am setting concrete goals, working toward them and realizing that I will be doing them because I actually want to and not because I feel like I need to. My first event was almost 10 years ago. I had fire. I had drive and I had will and it was all internal.
Often we live in fear and don’t even realize it. We wait for the shoe to drop. We expect the worst. We don’t even realize that it is there, because it almost becomes part of us. What fear does most though is the way it holds us back. We think, if I do this then X will happen. I can’t do this because Y will happen. So then nothing happens. We stand still and fear wins even if we don’t recognize it as what it is.
I have been letting fear hold me back. Now, don’t get me wrong….. there is a HUGE difference between being responsible, smart and listening to experts advice. There is also something to be said for not going in all willy nilly and not taking facts into consideration.
FACTS……
I have Hypoparthyroidism
I need to balance keeping my serum calcium levels in check while keeping my urine levels in check. (Yes, it is harder than it sounds)
Currently, running longer distances requires more calcium supplements which raises urine calcium levels. As does running faster paces.
I am currently under the care of a Endocrinologist whom not only do I feel, but 100% know understands this crazy disorder.
I am very lucky!
So with all of these hard and true facts, there is also some truth that needs to be faced. Due to fear of pushing my body too hard, I realized that I have not been pushing it enough. There are also some extenuating circumstances.
EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES……
There are only so many hours in the day and I have been burning the bridge at both ends….. between work, taking classes for CDA (Child Development Associate), my home baking business, my home, and trying to have a life; I have not been pushing myself to follow a routine.
But there is light at the tunnel. I have completed all my CDA classes, had the required evaluation and preparing to take the state test next month. I am also looking forward to only working 3 mornings a week over the summer and I realize I set the schedule for my home baking business.
Yesterday, I continued my goal of running one event a month. I haven’t been running or training as mentioned above. Yet, I ended up running (walking some) and finishing well.
As my friend said who I ran with (slightly paraphrasing) …….. You don’t run or train, yet you pull running a 5K out of your ass like you did the 10K in January. So shut up.
So with that….. I will not shut up because you know I can’t. What I will do though is stop letting the fear of failure, the fear of not being where I think I should be therefor keeping me from where I could go, and the fear of what if’s from keeping me from what I can do.
What I can do is face each day with hope, the knowledge that it will be what it will be and there are no guarantees.
I’ve met with the registered dietician on Friday. This was our second meet up after a consultation with her last month to see if we would be a good fit. She is a registered dietician and nutritionalist who also has a focus on endocrine and kidney disorders (Hello Hypoparathyroidism!). After our first meet and greet, we thought food tracking might be beneficial as it is hard to really make changes until you know what needs to be changed. Seems resonable!
So tracking I have tried to do. I even bought a year of myfitnesspal as a motivator. Now tracking is NOT hard because they really do make it easy. What is hard is telling yourself that you will track something later and then not doing so. Then the days where you know you are going to eat like a High School wrestler hoping to bulk up for his weight class. I have not been perfect but I have been fairly constent and as with everything in my life, I am trying to do better
Here is to trying to do better!
One thing that was very obvious is that I am not eating enough protein. Now for kidney issues, I am really supposed to avoid animal proteins which as a pescatarian I was already doing. That being said, plant based proteins are important especially when trying to create an exercise routine with good muscle recovery….
My bad.
Another thing that became VERY obvious is that I am eating way, way, way too many carbohydrates. Let me just say way one more time. Let’s admit it though. Carbs are tasty. Carbs are easy to grab on the go. Plus not all carbs are bad, but too many carbs is still too many carbs especially when not paired properly.
Case in point a random day in September where I tracked my whole day.
Not necessarily hitting my targets. Sometimes even when we think we are eating heatlhy, overal we are not getting all we need or too much of what we need. In talking with the dietician, it became apparant that there is too much of a good thing. Such as my morning smoothie. I was going with the add as much fruit as possible which is not really the way to go.
Sonal, dietician, asked me; “If you had to sit down to eat everything that you put in your smoothie for one meal, could you?”
The answer was a resounding no. The baker in me loves creating and I was using my smoothies for an outlet, but it really was too much. I am normally a too much kind of person. Lol. She suggested limiting the smoothie to 2 fruits taking into account the could I eat it all in one sitting mantra. Also making sure to add some protein to the smoothie in the form of a powder or food source (chia seeds, nut butters). Also adding some filling fiber such as oats, flax seeds and spinach. I can work with that! Kind of have been doing it, but in an over the top way.
Sometimes less is more of what we need and I’m trying to remember that.
While this morning smoothie was carb heavy, I also knew that it would be followed by a long bike ride and run. But it was also a good balance of protein and fiber. Balance.
In trying to figure out. Trying to come up with a plan. Trying to put the pieces together when I always feel like one is missing. Trying… Trying… Trying……One day I might know until then, keep working on –
How to move forward….
How to get back and stay on track…. (Does anyone ever stay on track?).
How to reach goals that I have been putting off setting….. ( Because if you set a goal, then that means you have to make a plan. If you make a plan, then you need to be accountable for following that plan)
I realized something…….. Once again, I was putting myself in a holding pattern.
Hear me out……..
I realize that once again I’ve been living in fear. I’ve been waiting for the shoe to drop. Funny thing is once started to drop, I realized that while there is a lot that I have no control of that by pretending the future is now that I am missing the present.
Point one…..
When you have Hypoparathyroidism, you have to usually take boat loads of calcium, prescription forms of Vitamin D on top of other things. Anywho…. As I’ve mentioned before, this is hard on the body. Kidneys especially. I’ve had high levels of calcium in urine which is not good. I’ve had some things indicating that maybe this was heading where I didn’t want it to go. I’ve also been lucky not to have had kidney stones and other issues, but it was always there in back of my mind.
Waiting
Waiting
Waiting
Get some results back and shows that my eGFR rate is dropping. 2 years after being Hypopara it was 73 (still in normal range) but enough that I worried about my kidney health which made me feel like I was being a hypochondriac. Guess I wasn’t because now 6 years in my eGFR has continued to drop 56 which is out of normal range and indicates that kidneys are not working properly otherwise known as CKD. As a side note, for a woman my age it should be in 90’s. So not great but not as bad as it could be!
Now the thing is doctors don’t seem overly concerned at this stage, but I am. You know, you only have one body thing. Also might be reason to switch to a nephrologist who doesn’t wait for things to get bad before thinking it’s a big deal. Anyway, these numbers while not great also were the wake up call that I needed to realize that…..
EVERYTHING IS NOT OUT OF MY HANDS!
Being overweight is not good for many things including kidney health. Now, there was a time when I could say that my extra weight wasn’t effecting my health and at the time that was true; but that is no longer the case.
My nutrition could be better. I’m not talking about nutrition to loose weight. I am talking about making sure that I am eating the right foods. Getting the right proteins, carbs, healthy fats.
There might come a day where I can’t do the things that I want, but I am not even close to being there now or in the near future!
so what to do….. what to do……
Well one and two go together. While I’ve met in the past with a functional nutritionist , this time I wanted to meet with someone who focused on kidney health. I found a Registered Dietitian with all the right credentials who among other things works with endocrine, kidney and weight loss issues. (All the boxes and then some checked).
I could (not easily) go on a diet to loose weight but if it is not the right diet for my health than loosing the weight means nothing. Last time I dropped a decent amount of weight it was between son 2 & 3. I did it with the South Beach Diet which is very much not the type of diet I should use now. My goal is not so much the weight loss but finding the right diet for kidneys and hypoparathyroidism. Loosing 20 pounds would be the bonus and one I am now actively working on.
My goal though is to change my numbers around as it’s early enough to do that and if I can’t turn them around, slow them the (beep) down!
So with all of that weighing on my mind, I’ve been acting like I am already at the point where I can’t run anymore. Now that’s just crazy talk…… Like Serious crazy talk……. Maybe…. Maybe…. Maybe….. one day, but not yet.
Now I know that just with Hypopara, my running has changed but I’ve been getting it done. I’ve been doing what I can but I’ve been holding back because I was waiting for what I don’t know. Kind of like when you put off cleaning out your closet because you just don’t want to deal with it. Then you realize that once you start tackling it, it’s not so bad.
So it’s not so bad!
Plus I’ve been training for my triathlon. I’m not trained trained. I feel like I never am anymore. What I am is trained enough to know that I will make it out of the water and still be able to bike and while not run, will be able to at least walk to the finish line.
oh did I mention that event is 12 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So my last post about unmotivated seemed to start my summer theme, but…..
It’s been a minute and I thought I would re-introduce myself and my new motivation.
Hello there!
My name is Christine and I think I am a runner?
I think….
But I am also a home baker busy with my new Cottage Food Baking business. Baking, researching, practicing, plotting.
I also work part time outside the home at a child care center. If you have ever worked with 3 year olds, you know that it is exhausting in a fun kids are too cute way.
I am also a home maker. Although 1 of my boys is a college graduate this past June and now in the work force, I still have one more college student at home and a High School student.
I also have Hypoparathyroidism which makes everything a balancing act.
I love to garden.
I am a busy, busy, bee….
I am also a blogger? At least think I am. I’ve written many a blog posts in my mind never to have actually made it to WordPress. I hope to change that. I hope to change a lot of things. So with that let’s catch up!
Although I haven’t been blogging or training, I have actually been moving (somewhat). I’ve been pretraining training. For what you ask.
I am running the NYC Virtual Marathon for Sandy Hook Promise. Those of you here a while know that I had made it to the in person marathon team for the 3rd time, but this year gave my spot up for a few reasons. I was at peace with that. Then Uvalde and I wanted back in. So I am now ”running” and raising money for Sandy Hook Promise as part of a virtual marathon team. Even though it will still be 26.2 miles, the pressure is off.
Now before entering to do the virtual marathon, I had already signed up to do a Sprint Triathlon. This is one that I have never done, but have wanted to do. Sprint Triathlons have a special place in my heart as my very first race was a Sprint Triathlon – The NJ Iron Girl.
This was the race that started my crazy journey. That I started blogging to share my progress. That motivated me to run and made me realize that I actually like running. That got me where I am today because I cross trained and liked it which is the main reason I liked the idea of jumping back into a tri. Although I do not enjoy the swim as much as others. The swim will be in the bay at LBI. It also requires training. I always say with a tri…. The bike, you can coast. The run, you can walk, but the swim….. you will drown. Not really because they always have safety measures, but you get it.
So I have been pre training. I’ve been doing some biking. Still running sporadically, but really no swimming except some laps at the summer pool. This will all change next week…….
Because my training plan will officially start and I will be off the couch and out the door!
So while I have not signed the contract to run NYCM with Sandy Hook Promise, I am laying groundwork. I do think paperwork should be with-in the next week and then it’s off to training we go.
That being said, I am already laying the groundwork. I have my training plan loaded in Training Peaks which I will officially start next week. Until then, I am in pre-training which I should enjoy while I can. I am also not looking to train for speed, but train for a great experience running. But first…..
I am also crossing all the T’s and dotting all the I’s with taking care of myself. I finally after years of my family telling me to get it checked out (again) saw a Pulmonologist and did a sleep study. Not too bad….. I only stop breathing 40-45 an hour and have severe sleep apnea. CPAP apparently is in my near future.
So while this sounds bad, it helps because maybe just maybe my down to the bone tiredness has nothing to do with my Hypopararthyroidism, but the fact that I am getting terrible night sleep! So besides, you know keeping me breathing at night and heading off any potential health issues; this will more than likely also help me with my training since I won’t be so exhausted all the time. Win.. Win.
Then next month (you know because it takes that long to get an appointment) I have my normal visit with my Endocrinologist for my Hypopara stuff and I am going to see Urologist to check on kidneys since I have a high output of calcium in urine. Although now wondering if I made appointment with right type of doctor and might have been better served with nephrologist but too late now. Would rather get some answers than no answers and can always follow up with the nephrologist if I think need to.
By this time, I will hopefully be a month and half into training. I am excited to start. And while my Sandy Hook Promise team place isn’t finalized yet, I think I will stick with training even if something happens.
So it’s go time….. As they say…..
There may come a day that I can not run, but today isn’t that day and I’m going to keep going.
The Accidentally Running Mama 