Tag Archive | Encouragement

Jul31

2016 was the year I began tryin to take my running to the next level. I was working with a running coach. I had goals. There was no stoping me….. or so I thought.

Then, as I’ve said before, two weeks after running NYC Marathon which I crashed and burned because I went out WAY too fast I had my thyroid out. As you know this was the surgery that left me with Hypoparathyroidism.

I’ve started thinking about new goals now that I am on the Yorvipath hormone replacement therapy. It has gotten me looking at where I’ve been with my running and what I might now be able to do now that my body seems to be working again.

The following year, I wanted to push myself to run another marathon. It was hard. It was hot. I did it. I finished in 5:48:52. My marathon times only got slower from there. I usually finished shortly after 6 hours. My slowest being in 2023 at 7:14.

It was always a struggle. I had to balance the need to replenish my calcium supplies for running while taking into account my kidneys. Then there was also the issue of making sure not to allow calcium to get to low causing a crash.

I pushed myself.

Now that I am taking my Yorvipath, it appears that my body is able to once again do what is asked. Suddenly I can push to hit 12 minute paces. I still. Have much to go, but it is a start. My Garmin even recorded a best pace of 9:24. No, I can’t sustain that but the fact that I hit it is a start.

So as I get ready to train for Bethlehem festival, it is time for new goals…..

Running Smart

May14

I’ve run smart races.

I’ve run races not smart.

It is much better to run them smart.

After seeing my Hypopara Endocrinologist, we talked about how I’ve been been more syptomatic with low calcium symptoms. Yes, there was the crash after my last 10 mile run, but there I’ve also been having “normal” low calcium symptoms on a regular basis. Things like muscle cramps, tingles, and muscle spasms.

These are just things you get used to.

Here’s the thing….. You forget that these are not normal. They are just your normal.

In talking with my doctor, we don’t see any reason for the changes. My only thought is that I may have been under stress but even then.

I’ve run more marathon’s with Hypopara than with out at this point. Even with all my marathon training and Hat Trick training, my calcium has not been this bad. The only thought I’ve had is that I did used to run with powdered calcium in my water. Although I haven’t done that in years.

I’m going to try again. While it really is never a good thing to try something new on race day, I will be adding powdered calcium to my water. I will still have my regular doses with me, but I’ve got to figure out dosing.

Again, there is no way to measure calcium levels in real time. My doctor did say that it is better to go too hight than too low.

We also talked about my last crash and while she said it was smart to go home to where my meds were to make sure to take care because if it continued to go lower instead of regulating that it could cause a cardiac event…. And that based on my account and documented photos, it was a “severe crash.”

Now being she is the medical profession, she did caution about running Brooklyn. That being said, she also said as long as I did it smartly it should be ok since I’ve completed two other 10 miles runs in training. I also said, that I would be smart and if I end up having to walk a bunch, I will.

I will get to the start.

I will get to the finish.

I will be smart.

I will probably be very slow.

I do not anticipate that I will meet any A goal that I once floated at the start of my training.

The upside…… I am still moving.

Plus I have the hope of now getting on the therapy replacement plan and then it will be game on.

Two Weeks In

May10

As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, I started Weight Watchers. I will admit that I have always said that I was not one to count points and it wasn’t for me…….

I was wrong.

Maybe back in the day when you had to do all the counting and calculating. That is no more. It couldn’t be any easier to use. There is a recipe calculator. You can scan bar codes. A “what to eat” tab with featured recipes and lists of all the zero point foods.

Honestly with all the zero point foods, you can eat and eat and not feel deprived. It does require a little planning, but we all know it is the mindless grabbing of food that is the problem for many of us as is processed foods. The one consideration is that it definitely more costly to eat fresh, but that is not weight watchers fault. It is sad commentary that a bag of potato chips is cheaper than a container of strawberries……. But I digress.

Anywho….

I’ve been consistently tracking. I’ve been managing my points. One thing that I do like is that besides daily points, you get what they call weekly points to use anyway you want during your week. These points also increase as does your activity. I didn’t understand that at first, but now use them.

I also am not depriving myself. This week was teacher appreciation week that brought goodies and I also went into NYC for a Hypopara study visit (more on that in separate post later). I ate what I wanted to eat, but maybe pregaming pizza lunch with a zero point salad. Then having only one slice of pizza instead of two. It is about thinking about the food you eat.

This was all only 2 points and that was for the feta cheese.

One thing that tracking made me think about is the number of calories that I drink. While I by no means will be giving up my coffee, I realized that for some reason using agave in my coffee was more points than regular sugar. I then realized switching to monk fruit sweetener was even better. Also had to rethink my morning smoothie which while always healthy needed to be adjusted.

So I will continue to do weekly updates with the good and the bad as I did sign up for the next several months. My first goal is 15 pounds. Ultimately I would like to loose a total of 30 pounds. Time will tell.

Currently I am heading in the right direction. Down 4.2 pounds. This feels like not so much a diet as a reset and shift in eating habits. It is about being the healthiest version of myself which the added weight has not been helping.

Stay tuned.

It is Enough

May1

Shhhhh… Don’t tell anyone but….

I am overweight.   Thanks to many factors, I might be adding instead of subtracting pounds.   Based on charts, I would be considered obese.   I am out of shape.   When I run I have been known to huff and puff.   I am not as strong as I used to be.    I am not as flexible as I used to be.    I’m definitely not as young as I used to be!  Sometimes I look at pictures and think…. Damn, what happened.

To be honest though while it does cross my mind on occasion, most of the time I just don’t give a shit.    Does my weight determine how I live my life?   Not a chance.    Does my weight determine if I head out the door to run or exercise?   Nope.    Does it keep me from living my life and doing the things I want to do?  Never.  Does my weight effect the way I fit in my jeans?   Yup.    Does the size of my jeans affect my overall life happiness?   Hell no!

All my life, I’ve been beating the odds.   I’ve been the one who was picked last for gym class.    I’ve been the one who is looked past and over.    I say this not for a pity party because who needs that.   I say this because at this point in my life, I don’t care and if you didn’t pick me to be on your team I wouldn’t want to play with you anyway.  If you look past me, no worries because I’m probably have a plan of where I need to be anyway.

I say these things because they are true.   I say these things because they are what made me who I am today.   They made me stronger.   I had to find my own self worth.   I had to find what made me who I am today.   I define who I am.   I define what I am and what I will do.

Now please don’t take that to mean that I don’t need others and others opinions aren’t important.    I’m just saying that although it is nice when others build a person up that you must learn to build yourself up first or it means nothing.    If you spend your life looking for validation from others, you will never truly be satisfied or know your worth.

So while I know that some might look at me at shake their heads wondering how I consider myself a runner and  an athlete, I do.    I know that I don’t have the speed of some.   I don’t have the agility or endurance of some.   I don’t have a lot, but what I have is enough.

I have the will.   I have the desire.   I push myself when it’s hard.   I push myself to be more than I was.  I strive to be better, stronger, faster than I thought I could be.   I also know that what I have to offer is enough.    That while I could always be better and improve myself, that who and what I am today is enough.

And while all of that is true, we all know that I have talked about trying to get the number down on the scale. At my last doctor visit, I had gained an additional 10 pounds which was always the number I said I couldn’t hit. My doctor said something that stuck with me, “Don’t let this be your new normal” after I said that to her.

Since that visit in December, I have tried on my own a few different ways. None of them stuck while the weight did. I very much like to have a plan. I think I’ve found one that I’ve been doing for a few days now. I like it. It makes sense to me and it is easy to follow.

So with that I will say that I signed up for Weight Watchers. I signed up for a 10 month plan as I have 30 pounds as my goal.

More to follow

Don’t Forget

Mar21

I can do hard things. I’ve done hard things.

Today’s Facebook memories from 9 years ago were filled with NYC Half Marathon.

A sub 2 half…. Right under the wire at 1:58:59

This was a race that I worked with amazing coach to achieve. This was a race I trained hard for.

It was hard.

It wasn’t easy.

I wasn’t sure that I would be able to do it.

Yet, I did.

Now mind you this was 9 years ago…. 8 months before my thyroid surgery that left me Hypopara.

Here’s the thing though….. I know due to getting older, the whole Hypopara thing, and the extra pounds that I am no longer chasing the sub w half.

I get that. I really do, but what was hard and impossible then became reachable and possible. That doesn’t mean that I can’t still do hard things. It’s just that I think I forgot it.

This was a good reminder. Not just for my running and fitness, but for life in general.

Jan26

Some might say that I have been doing this for a long time without reaching some of my goals.

Maybe that’s true.

Maybe it’s not.

My goals have changed along the way. My thoughts of what is necessary has changed. What and where I want to be has changed. I know my body has changed and what it can do too. Always moving forward though. Maybe no longer reaching for that golden ring, but happy with the consolation prize. Bobbing and weaving, even when the finish line keeps moving.

So maybe it’s not about reaching the goal, but continuing to reach for it without giving up.

Tomorrow starts my 16 week training plan for the Brooklyn Half. As of now I do not have a goal for the race other than to run it well. To me that will mean to go into this event trained by following my training plan. To continue with the cross training to hopefully also go into this race injury free.

At the 8 week mark, I will access where I am with my training and adjust training for the goal.

So here we go……

Last time I ran Brooklyn in 2015, I ran it in 2:14:47. That’s not happening or anything even close to that. That being said, my last half was 2:59:18. So, honestly, I am starting my training with 3 hours in mind.

Never giving up…. Never baking down…. Still moving….

What more can I ask for?

Letting Go

Jan15

It is so easy to get caught up in the numbers, the data, and if your garmin didn’t record it that it didn’t happen.

I am trying to let that go.

I have been doing my 20 minutes of daily wall pilates. I’ve been walking. I’ve been riding stationary bike and going on treadmill.

Many recorded.

Some not.

You know what if it isn’t documented, it still happened. It is making a difference. I am noticing less aches and pains. I am noticing feeling a little bit stronger. I am confident that this is the way to go.

I am not going from zero to sixty too fast. I am easing into these changes in a way that speaks to where I am and not was or want to be. I am matching my exercise routine with the reality of where my body is today and what it could do.

In my Crossfit days, I was a bad ass. I could lift and do WOD’s breaking into a sweat but get them done. I am not the same, but the determination is the same.

That is enough.

Not if it is recorded by my watch.

Not if no one sees it.

I know…..

And that is enough.

Setting Goals

Jan2

Yes it is that time of year for goal setting. That being said, I would be doing all this if it was June. I am ready. So here we are……. One week in.

What a difference a week makes.

  1. Working on my diet. Healthy smoothies in the morning. More water. More salads. Less processed foods. It’s a work in progress with progress being the key word. Small changes that can be sustained.
  2. Downloaded a 12 week wall pilates program on an app (Reverse Health). For the $30 fee, I feel like it will be worth it. My goal is to carve the 20 minutes out a day. So far. So good, but its been 3 days:)
  3. Started doing some running again. Even ran a New Years Day 5K with friends. This lead me to another goal…. In June there is a Downtown Run into Summer 5K. MY GOAL NOW IS TO RUN THIS RACE WELL….whatever that means. Not time, but the way I feel. Although to be honest I would like to run it in under 35 minutes. I ran the Bethlehem Running Festival 5K in 40.17. So I think while a reach/stretch goal, it is not a crazy goal.

I have been reading a GREAT book by a running coach that I was very lucky to work with. The book is Running Past 50, Your Guide to Running Longevity and Success by Caolan MacMahon. (You can find it on Amazon and I highly recommend it). This book has been motivating me…..for me because I am lucky enough to know Caolan and have worked with her it really hits home. She was my running coach who got me through 2 marathons, a 50K and my one and only sub 2 half marathon. She is an amazing coach and her book speaks the truths coach’s need to say to thir athletes.

The below passage really spoke to me and I hear the truth of her words….

“But it takes time and willingness to develop a habit, which will also include breaking a habit. Habits can, of course, be “good” or “bad.” In this case, you want to develop a good habit, running , while breaking a bad habit, inactivity.”

This paragraph goes on with more information and really spoke to me. So much so that I have it bookmarked.

I have developed bad habits. Not just eating more processed and sugary foods than I should, but coming home from work and immediately sitting on the couch with my dog and a coffee. While this isn’t a bad thing, the timing is a bad habit because once your on the coach it is harder to motivate to do what needs to be done. So what I’ve been trying to do is inside of doing this to go for a walk after work or as in today do my wall pilates which today focused on abs.

So here is to making better choices in the new year. Here is to making healthy habits while replacing the bad ones.

Since this post is long enough, I will explain later how I plan to hold myself accountable.

Happy New Year!

Balance not Perfection

Dec30

I’ve been overweight for years now. I’ve talked about it before. The difference is that before the weight did not effect my life. My doctor never was concerned about it as it was consistent. At the time my high BMI was just that a high BMI. All my other numbers were good. There was no effect on my health.

I was what you would call a healthy fat.

My doctor even would comment that she was not concerned. Although being a doctor she would comment on the BMI, but then just shrug her shoulders.

This last appointment was different. I have now entered into the “unhealthy” fat stage. My cholesterol did lower, but part of that was my good cholesterol going down. She was also concerned about some other liver numbers, so she sent me for a liver ultrasound which backed up her thought of a fatty liver and she is concerned due to family history that I could also become diabetic. The ultrasound also found that I have gallstones.

This was my wake up call. That and the fact that I also gained another 15 pounds. I’ve also been experiencing more aches and pains. Lastly I realized that while my cardio is strong and I can go out to run pretty much without thought, I have lost flexibility and strength.

Time to change the game.

I admit the liver thing has been a wake up call. I’ve already started setting myself up for some success with healthier

Yes that is a cinnamon roll! I am going for balance not perfection!

So this is my goal. I am putting my health first. I even got a 2025 planner. My goal is to to add workouts (not just running) into it. With work and my night class starting mid January, I can’t just let things go unplanned. When I’ve done that the thing that without fail that always gets put last is workouts.

So here is to a healthier happy New Year. My initial goal is 15 pounds which will take me to where I was last year. From there we will see where things go.

What are your goals?

Getting Back on the Horse

Sep8

Today’s run was definitely a mental one. Yes, it was physical because I was going for between 8-9 miles; but I was in my head a lot before lacing up.

Every run is a mental run from the procrastinating to the lacing up and getting out the door. There are so many reasons not to run. There are so many reasons to push yourself to get out and run too.

I needed to get out of my head today. I needed to remind myself that I can do this. I would be lying if I didn’t say that last week scared the crap out of me. I would be lying if it didn’t cross my mind to stop pushing so hard, to stay home and just say I’m throwing in the towel. While on my Hypopara journey, I have had tetany before. I have had muscle spasms. I have had the tingles, the brain fog, and been symptomatic. The difference is that I always felt like I still was in control as these symptoms were more annoying than anything else.

I won’t go into again, but last week’s calcium crash was bad. It scared me. It stopped me in my tracks. It reminded me that this is more than just annoying. This is real and needs to be taken seriously. I liked to pretend that it wasn’t and wouldn’t stop me. Honestly, I’ve been more worried about my kidney health than the actual Hypopara symptoms. I realized that I needed to take BOTH as seriously as I should.

This week was a stressful week at work. It was also the first week without summer hours. No longer leaving at 3, but 1. Doesn’t sound like a lot, but for those who don’t know I am also a childcare teacher. This means I am on my feet and really in constant motion both mentally and physically all day.

I wanted to run this week, but I didn’t. I could tell that I wasn’t ready. Yesterday I just didn’t have the energy. I had stayed up too late baking a cake. Oh yeah, I’m also a home baker. So yesterday I didn’t run.

This morning no excuses…. Except I was nervous. I prepared for my run giving myself an half an hour for morning meds to kick in. I filled my water bottles. I have the Fitletic running belt. So I filled 2 with water and one with electrolytes. I then put into the belt some kind nut bars, extra meds, and off I went. I also put back on my running Id that has contact info and also a “Hypoparthyroidism check calcium.” I had gotten a new band and never put it back on. I got complacent.

I started off running streets close to home making grids for the first three miles. I stayed close to home for the remainder of the run too. Not going too far out which sometimes I do for a longer run. Today was about keeping a comfortable pace. Walking when needing to, but not just because I want to. It was about listening to my body. At around 5 miles, I added some full in the form of some of the kind bar. At around 6.5 miles, I took 250 of calcium. Half of my normal afternoon dose. Then just kept moving.

I finished. I got to 8.5. At the end of the run I was thinking of doing a few streets to get to 9, but I figured this was enough……. And it was!

Mentally my head is back in the game. Mentally I know that I can do this but have to be smarter.