Tag Archive | Be who you are

Showing Up

Mar29

We show up for work. We show up for school. We show up for our friends, for all our responsibilities and we show up for so many things that we don’t even want to but feel we need to. We show up for everyone and everything else that often we forget to show up for ourselves.

Wait what????

We forget to show up for ourselves by letting people treat us wrong for too long. For not standing up for ourselves. For constantly putting the to do list before ourselves. No don’t get me wrong, there are times where it is pertinent and necessary for others and our to do list to come first. The problem is we often make that a pattern. We often make that the norm. We often say I need to do this, this, and this first. Then I will take care of myself

STOP THAT!

I realized that part of my issue with getting back on track is that before I would do a work out, before I would plan for my meals, before I would take care of myself; I felt I needed to take care of everything else. That everything else list has and always will be long long… Long… And never ending

I’m working towards my CDA. Lots of time there.

I started a home baking business and often have orders

I have a job outside the home that I am required to show up for.

I have a home and family that requires tending

Here’s the thing, though… I never put myself on the list or at the top of the list recently. And if I’m not on the list, then I’m not a priority. The things that I need to do for me are not getting done. I make sure everyone else in my home is taken care of up to, and including my pets. I forgot about me

Wow, many things on my to do list need to be done. There is still time in the day for me though. It will require planning/. It will require prioritizing. Most of all it will require knowing that I should….. No, that I need to be on the list as well!! So with that being said , I am making myself a priority. Yes cookies need to be baked, dinners need to be made and jobs need to be done, but there is still time for me.

Do you make time for you? So many of us especially mothers are used to putting everyone and everything before us but when the pattern does not allow for any time, there is a problem.

Since I have started putting myself on the list……

Workouts are getting done

My own meal planning is getting priority (loving meal service).

Feeling better and actually less stressed

How do you show up for yourself?

It is NOT a Number Game

Jun16

When you are a fairly active person and you still are not a size 8, people automatically assume that it is your diet. Like everything in life…sometimes it is and sometimes it isn’t. And as always people should just never assume.

Even at my fittest which I would put about 2015/2016, I was according to all medical and fitness charts overweight.

Oh those Crossfit days…..

I would go in for yearly checkups and when the doctor would ask how active I was, I always felt like I got the side eye….. Yes, I am active. I do cross-training, I run all the time and even am training for a marathon. I actually changed doctors around this time because one told me that I should try having a protein shake for breakfast and a salad for lunch… blah..blah…blah.. She only looked at the numbers and not full picture. Luckily my current doctor is not tied to charts and scales. She takes into account all the other numbers which have always been good. Although I admit my cholesterol is starting to creep up (not to a point where I would need medication, but for me I see a pattern). That might just be genetics and age at this point too.

Anywho…… Here we are at a point where I am no longer at “my Peak” but I am still a fairly active person. I do have to remind myself that I do not to have to be as active as I used to be, but that I do need to keep moving which I have been (I will update on that another day).

So today, I was thinking about things as I was going about my workout. I am no longer a size 8 nor do I think it would be possible without changes I do not plan to implement because I do not find it necessary. Anyhow……. And maybe it’s just me and my insecurities…….. I sometimes feel like people don’t feel like you are really trying hard enough if your goal isn’t to “get in shape.” That you are eating nothing but chips, chocolate, and ice cream. They would be wrong.

Here is the thing….. I really am in shape. I’m a bigger shape maybe, but I am also a healthy shape. I also while I readily admit do treat myself, overall I eat a very healthy diet. I am a pescatarian, so I eat a lot of veggies. I eat a lot of healthy fish. Probably don’t drink as much water as I should but trying to get better. I realized this morning that I think I have been pescatarian now for about a year. There really was never a day where I threw down the gauntlet, but it was a gradual change that occurred during pandemic. The longer I ate this way, the more I enjoyed it. I can honestly say that I do not miss meat which my husband as he was grilling a porterhouse steak this past weekend could not understand how I was satisfied with my yummy grilled portabella mushrooms. I really was….100%.

So as I go about working on my fitness goals, I wish people would not assume that the reason I am doing what I am doing is because I feel that I need to fit a certain mold or size. And even though I might also admit that the extra weight might keep me from “peak performance” that is my weight to bear and not theirs.

So when you look at an athlete or ANYONE, we really should not make assumptions about them based on something that really is not anyone’s business. Believe me EVERY overweight person knows they are overweight but not every overweight person feels the same about it.

Lastly…… unless you are their doctor or trainer, it really isn’t your place to question it either.

Enough

Feb12

I’m going to steal Einstein’s quote a little, because so often in running we compare ourselves. We look to see how our running measures up to those around us. We look to see how our running measures up to what we expect of ourselves. And you know you more than likely look to see what the person next to you is running on the treadmill. But what if…..

Everybody who runs is a runner. We have all heard it, but often we don’t believe it or feel we need to justify. “I’m not that fast.” “I don’t do any races.” “I’ve only run a 5K.” On and on we go as if what we are doing isn’t enough. As if our effort doesn’t measure up to what the golden standard is, but what if there is not golden standard. If you judge your pace/distance to that of another person, you might just think that you are not trying hard enough. You would be wrong.

Here’s the thing….. My mother is 72 and knocking on 73 (sorry Mom). My mom is a runner and power walker. She has never run a race. She only added the running the last few years (yeah in her 70’s). She goes to the gym and she gets on the treadmill. She is building up her miles and we are going to do a 5K together this year. She is and has always been a bit of a force of nature.

Here’s the thing. She’s been going to they gym and using the treadmill. She’s pushing herself. She’s getting her heartrate up. She’s moving. Yesterday she went to the gym and did her run. She was looking at the woman running next to her that was running at over 6. My spry mother (Hi) was running between 3 to 3.5. My mother was working hard. My mother was pushing it. My mother was getting out of breath. My mother was running and giving it her all..

Here’s the other thing and this is one I’m working on too which is why I’m calling out my mom……… If at face value you compared my mother running at 3.5 to the woman next to her running in the 6’s, some might discount what she is doing. You might tell her what she is doing is not enough. You might actually be an ass because anyone who says that would be wrong. Just like we are wrong when we compare ourselves to those running faster and further that seems out of reach for us.

Like I tell my children, it doesn’t matter what you are doing as long as you are giving it your all. My mother is giving her all and that’s all we can aks of ourselves. Some days we don’t even need to do that. But if you are showing up, if you are trying your best, if you are being true to yourself; what more can you ask of yourself? Nothing except to accept where you are and be proud

If you are on the treadmill and your all is 3…. Go you!

If you are on the treadmill and your all is 6+…. Go you!

If you are running a 5K, it’s not just a 5K!

If you never run a race, but lace up your shoes, you are a runner.

If you are running any distance, you are a runner.

It’s all a mind game. Knowing what to push. Knowing when to push. Knowing your limitations and pushing through them. Knowing when it’s time to take a step down and not push. Knowing that you are enough doing just what you are doing.

It’s hard sometimes knowing that what you are doing is enough. We live in a society that expects us to be bigger and better than before. But the truth is that just getting up every day putting in the time and energy to do what ever you can is enough. Sometimes just showing up is enough.

If your are an apple, don’t try to be an orange and know that apples come in all varieties and they are all good. If we were all the same, the world would be boring. So look ahead at what you are doing. Don’t look behind at what you’ve already done. Don’t look next to you to see what someone else is doing because you will miss the joy in doing just what you can do.

It is enough.

Enough

Jan26

We live in a world that is constantly telling us that we aren’t good enough.   Every magazine is filled with ads telling us how we can be better.   TV commercials are designed to show us what we need to be happy, fulfilled, and beautiful.    It’s all a lie.

We are constantly bombarded with messages that we are not enough.   That we need to be better.    That we need more to make us happy.    That we need to dress a certain way. That we need to look a certain way.   That the natural make-up free face isn’t enough.   That it is less fearful to inject poison into our skin than age naturally.   It takes a toll.

In every society there are norms designed so that we can coexist.    Many of these norms are not only necessary, but make for a better world.   But many of these norms are a trap, not necessary, and make people feel dissatisfied with where they are in life.

I’ve been questioning things lately.   As I’ve been learning to Let Go of the Ego, I’ve been working on accepting not just my running life but so much more.   As a runner, I’ve always followed my own path so to speak.   I rolled into my first Marathon in Philly not having trained for a marathon but the Runner’s World Hat Trick.   Then only completed one 20 miler before running it.    All of my other marathons, I did not want to nor did I train running any 20 milers.   I just don’t like them.   That is not to say that I didn’t train.   I just did it the way that worked for me.

In life, I’ve also followed my own path.   Never really fitting in with just one space.   Doing my own thing.   As I’ve been trying to accept where I am in my fitness journey, I’ve  also decided that I needed to take it a step further.  I’ve decided that I am enough as I am.  It was time to face the world as I am and not as I’m told that I should be.  And although I’ve never been one to have a make-up routine that lasted more than a few minutes, going naturally is still scary.

So I decided to go for  it   I went out in the world as I am.   Although I will tell you that after two days totally free, I decided that I like a little mascara and Burt’s Bees lip balm with a little color.

IMG_4351

Here is what I learned……… No one turned away in disgust.   Ha.   No one commented.   No one asked if I was ok because maybe I didn’t look the same.   No one even cared.  Now

Now I’m not saying that I will never wear make-up again.   What I am saying though is…

I am enough.

You are enough.

Don’t let the world define you.

Define yourself