There is something to be said about waiting until you are ready to do something to actually start. There was no dread today. There was no, “I’ve go to go out for a run today,” said with dread.
None of it.
Today was a “I am going to go out for my run as soon as I’m done with my coffee” kind of day.
I can tell it has been a hot minute since I’ve seriously run as I couldn’t find my Garmin. Still can’t. Still looking, but I also didn’t let that deter me or stop me from getting out the door.
I was excited. It was a perfect day for running. The not too hot. Not too cold kind of day. No jacket required. At least for me as I always run hot.
My NYC Half training plan stated with a 3 mile run and that’s what I did. I didn’t watch pace, but did keep it as a conversational pace which I 100% did as I was on the phone the whole time! I walked when I got out of breath, but for the most part stayed at a stead pace.
Not too shabby if I do say so myself!
In all seriousness….. Not too shabby. I have not been doing anything unless you count testing and eating Christmas cookies. I’ve done a few walks, but have not run since I really don’t know when. Hopefully this is the beginning of a good training cycle.
I’ve got a plan loaded into Training Peaks. I am doing the Hal Higdon Novice 1, because let’s face it…..I am starting from scratch.
One day at a time…. One run at a time…. One workout at a time.
This is what it feels like to have fire again:)
This is what it is like to remember to show up for yourself.
I’ve been trying to answer this question. To see where I am. What my body can do. What mentally I am prepared to do. I think I have the answer.
Am I ready to run a virtual NYC Marathon?
Hell no.
Am I ready to complete 26.2 miles for Sandy Hook Promise for a NYC Virtual Marathon?
Yes…. With in reason
I need to be smart. I need to be reasonable and most of all…… I need to check the ego.
This past Sunday, I went out with one agenda. Ok maybe 2. To plan my route which will consistent of “loops” from a local park. I am hoping to have people join me for parts of the “race” and thought this would be a great way to do it. There will be loops in the park going out to longer loop leaving park. This way some can come for shorter or longer distances. I went with no pace plan. No time frame. No nothing. Just the loops and to hit 13 miles.
I did it.
Not too shabby either
How you ask?
By not being an idiot. Ok, anymore of an idiot than thinking of finishing a marathon. I walked. I ran slowly. I walked. I stopped at my car at end of first loop. I stopped to rub feet. I refuled. I took my time. I had no… I need to be faster. I need to hit this pace. I should blah, blah, blah
I just did it
I did it knowing that I could do it. I did it knowing that I could do more. I did it knowing that my body has done this again. I did this with the thought never again….. but maybe I just mean a virtual. Most of all I did this knowing that honestly there will come a day that I can’t do this, but (blank) no, that day is not today. So I will do this.
It will be hard. My feet will hurt. My hands will swell. I will be tired. I most definitely will be sore. I will be slow. I will like every marathon question my wisdom, BUT I PLAN TO FINISH WHAT I SET OUT TO DO!
So the date is set, October 22.
The time is set…. Starting at 8:30
The pace is what it will be.
The reason is clear……… I am running for Sandy Hook Promise and the promise of a better day for our children.
I have not been doing what I should have been doing.
Some might say, that I’ve been slacking.
Maybe I have.
Maybe I have not.
I’ve really just been doing what I can to get by. Could I have pushed myself to do more? You bet! Did I want to? Eeeee….. a little but not enough to actually push. I’ve been really tired lately. We all are collectively tired. We all have responsibilites. Things that weigh on our minds. Things we know we should do, but don’t. Things we want to do, but also can’t. It is a vicious cycle.
After a hard reset where I am consulting with a dieticion, asking myself hard questions, and actally trying to put the pieces where they belong not necessarily where I want them to fit, I’ve come up with some ideas.
Here is the thing, if you know me you know that if I set my mind to do something; I am going to do it. If I make a commitement, I will see it through. Most of all, if you know anything about me; you know that Sandy Hook Promise is my jam. You know that as much as they need supporters like us, I feel the very real need to be part of the solution. (You can read about why they are important to me here….https://www.sandyhookpromise.org/blog/volunteer-resources/holiday-reflections-from-a-promise-leader/ )
So here is the deal, I am not ready to run a marathon. Virtual or not. I think part of my issue also is that being virtual, I let things slide that I would not have if I knew I would be at a start line with 50,000 people. Although I’ve done virtual marathon before that I was ready for, this year was different.
Here is my dilemma….. I said I was going to do it. I want to do it. I am committed to doing it. So I am going to do it. It won’t be what I imagined but it will be what is “smart” and what I physically think that I can do if not just a little out of my reach. Isn’t that what a marathon is all about anyone. It literally may take me all day to do it, but I will do it.
Now even though my training has not been stellar, that does not mean I’ve been sedentary. Remember I just completed a Sprint Triathlon. My runs may not have been long, but my cardio fitness is strong. Today due to the rain, I took it inside……. 90 minutes on stationary bike. Biking just under 30 miles. Then an hour on treadmill for just under 4.5 miles. So not a couch potato. I also felt like I could have kept going, but there were things to be done today.
I also just ordered new shoes, because I realize that I’ve been wearing and running in LAST YEAR’S marathon shoes. Not good. Shoes should arrive in another day or so.
So here is the plan…..
4 six mile loops at the park. I will ask my local peeps to join me for a loop, for a portion of the loop or just cheer me on from home. I will do some running. I will do a lot of walking. There will be some instagram/facebook posting. Hopefully there will be no crawling or crying but you know, it is a marathon. Anything is possible. In looking at the guidelines for the virtual marathon, it just needs to be one continuous run in Strava completed in 24 hours.
Easy, Peasy. Lemon Squeazy….
Oh wait….
Probably not, but it will be what it will be.
But it will happen and I hope you are there in any way that you can be. Also feel free to share my fundraising efforts with your friends and family, because as we know their efforts to bring change are needed more now than ever!
Week one of marathon training went so smoothly, I thought this is going to be fabulous. Right up until half way through week two when I came down with a bad cold. Now I do know it’s only a cold because due to my job and abundance of caution at first sign of symptoms I got a covid test. No covid but a really bad cold. At first it was settling in my chest with a really bad cough. I had thought about trying to run through it but not really smart thing to do. I even googled running with cold and the consensus was not to push through with cold symptoms below the neck. So I didn’t.
Besides the fact that I really don’t think that I could have anyway. Kind of hard to run when your hacking up a lung and and elephant was sitting on your chest. So I missed some runs including my first “long run.” But it seems like while the cold hasn’t passed it is no longer in my chest. The cough is mostly gone. Currently I am just constantly blowing my nose. My eyes are watering, but my chest is clear. So I guess I will call that a win and I’m sure you could have used without that update.
Today is a rest day and while I had thought of maybe making up a run, I thought better of it. So I will pick up week three of marathon training while skipping over week two. Hopefully by the time I run tomorrow my nose will be done running, so my feet can go it alone. Either that or maybe I can run out the cold.
Good times.
So not much to report seeing as this was not a stellar week. I am jumping back in this week and hoping for the best.
One week in and 17 more to go, but training seems to be falling into place. Just so happens that a woman in my running circle is also planning to run NY. We are off similar ages and abilities. In talking to her, I explained the 80/20 plan that I am doing. She decided that is a good fit for her and the beautiful thing is that it seems like are fitness level and training zones are compatible, so it’s a go. We are doing slightly different plans, but we can make it work.
I forgot how good it was to run with people. I haven’t really done it in a long time even pre-covid. When people are training seriously even if they say “I will run whatever you are running,” it doesn’t always work out. They aren’t getting the training they need. You feel bad for holding them back or maybe worse run too fast which is worse than running too slow. So finding a training partner for a marathon where you can do many runs together is nice. Even better when you really like the person:)
So week one went well. I will say that holding back is harder than it sounds. All your life you are told to give it all you’ve got. ….To push yourself to the limits…..If you don’t push yourself who will. ……. I’m sure you can think of others that you’ve told yourself. It is always…. GO….GO…. GO.
Now it is…. Slow down. Don’t push it. Slow and steady. It’s harder than it sounds. More times than you would think this past week, it was “we are running too fast.” We need to slow down. We are breathing too hard. Now don’t get me wrong, with the heat and humidity in Jersey this past week slow and steady still was hard. The heart rate spiked a few times. Sweat happened. It was not “easy.”
Here is the thing though….. After this first week of running, there was not a run that when it ended I didn’t think that I could do more. I could run further. I could run faster. I also was able to recover from these runs which is key.
So as I dig deeper into this training, I really need to find out if the zone that my garmin is saying are the right zones. I also would love it if my heart rate didn’t seem to jump up quickly. To keep myself where I needed to be and bring my heart rate down, I would walk until I got back into the zone. So I need to work on this. It will come.
As I do this, I am also in the marathon of fundraising. It’s kind of like doing 2 marathons at once. I’m working on collecting auction items which after this last year you can imagine is not easy task, but onward I go. I’ve gotten some good ones already. (If you know of any, I’m all ears).
So onward I go….. Slow, Steady, and moving foward.
I had planned to run my first in person 5K today. I thought it sounded fun and also safe since it was on the trails. The fun part was dressing in an adult onesie. I was all set to run in my unicorn onesie. I even roped a running friend in for the event. (Roped is a strong word……. I told her about it and asked if she wanted to sign up. So she did).
One of the best things is that my NYC Half Virtual training lined up with a set back week and running a 5K this weekend. Yeah…. When things align
Until they don’t.
Lots of snow last week made it seem like a challenge but a fun one. I do love the snow and I have Yaktraxs for my shoes and they have not been used in a long time.
Then the timing belt on my Honda Pilot decides that 100,090 miles is enough and decides that it is time to be replaced. So while I could have still gone in our other vehicle the prospect of driving over an hour in our big Truck and then trying to park was not appealing. While this is not a big rig, it is a king cab sized truck with a full pick-up bed and parking even my pilot is not my forte. So I decide not to go.
Boo……
My brave and very fu friend still goes as her daughter volunteered to go with her as her support team
Aren’t they cute?
I talked to her afterwards and she had a good run. She told me that I would have been able to park, but I think she overestimates my ability to park the truck. I’m sad that I missed the day, but it did make me realize something…….
I want to run again. Like many runners, I miss in person events and can’t wait to go to one. I also can’t wait to actually race….. Like race at my limit…….. Push myself till my sides hurt.
I did that today. I didn’t want today to be a washout, so I laced up and went on the treadmill. I did a 5 minute warmup walk. Then I cranked up the pace and ran. Unfortunately, I forgot to start my Garmin right away, so I had to actually run more than a 5K, but all is good.
It was hard……. I was pushing as hard as I could. I was sweating…….. At the end, my side was literally hurting……. It felt freaking awesome to push that hard. To go to the limit. To know that if I do what I need to do, I can get where I need to go.
Done is done
When you stop comparing yourself to others……… When you stop comparing yourself to what you once were…….. When you stop thinking about what you wish it was……….. Most of all when you get out of your own way, it is amazing to see where you actually can go.
Yesterday I needed to go for my long run of 15 miles. I knew going in that the run might be difficult, so from the very beginning I said that my motto for this run would be:
Embrace The Suck!
As I was beginning my run, I chuckled and thought to myself that it kind of is a metaphor for life too. Now hear me out. Sometimes in life things are going suck. Things are going to go wrong. Things are going to be hard. And sometimes, things are going to be downright shitty.
Yes I know very uplifting, but we all know that life isn’t always a bowl of cherries. The thing is that you have to embrace the suck to get to the good stuff. You have to push through it when it’s hard. You have to dig your heels in and just keep moving forward. You have to know that at the end of the suck is something good. You have to just keep going, because if you stick around long enough you come out that much stronger.
So with that being said, I embraced the suck of yesterday’s 15 mile run. As I said I knew it would be suck some for a few reasons.
It’s a long run and they usually suck.
I need new sneakers
I’ve been messing up with my meds
So I went out with the mindset that no matter what, I would embrace the suck. Do what I needed to do and get my run in. The goal was to finish no matter what. I felt like this was a long enough run to gage some things for New York and what I need to do in the next 46 days.
I have realized that it takes my body normally a good 3 miles to get into the rhythm of a run. This morning was no exception. Then I realized that I did not take my morning meds, so I ended up looping my run back to my house so that I could do so. This was more necessary because I’ve been a little off with my timing lately. (Don’t worry, I’m trying to be better). Anyway, meds taken and out the door I went. It was hard. I was sweating like I ran in a sprinkler, but I was embracing the suck and moving forward. I was running where I should be especially for the distance keeping an average pace in the 12’s & 13’s. By mile 10, I was feeling a little off. For me I can tell when my levels are dipping because I feel like a twitch in my face even if it’s not visible and some tingling/numbness in my hands. I was prepared and did have some Calez (powdered calcium) to add to my water. I am thinking for the marathon to fill all my bottles up with this and then just get plain water at the water stations.
I pushed forward. By almost miles 13, I was out of water which is never good. Luckily, I plan my runs so that I am never far from a friends house or place I can stop at. I took my smelly sweaty self into a bistro where I purchased the most delicious chilled Gaterade and a bottle of water to refill. Then off I went embracing the suck.
Here’s the thing…. As sucky as it was, it was also good. I did feel stronger at the end of my run. I did feel confident and the end of my run. I did realize that running alone through the streets will be so much different than when running with 50, 000 of my closest friends who will all be embracing the suck. I did feel like I could keep running and I did feel strong enough to keep going. And I also realized that in the end, it is all worth it.
Sticking to the plan. I may not be going far every day, but at least I am going every day which was the plan. Last week was a crazy and brutally busy week, yet I still managed to sneak in a run every day. I’ve even taken to bringing out the night running gear again because even though it may be the last thing I wanted to do, even though it might of been cold and rainy, or even if I had walked miles at a visit to my son’s soon to be college; I still managed to get a run in.
Tomorrow will be 10 days strong on my streak. Here is what I’ve discovered so far…
This is NOT something that I would want to do long term
This HAS actually been good for me so far.
Even though time wise my week may not have allowed many miles, I’m finding that I would like to run more than a mile once started. Seems like a lot of work getting out the door for just one mile.
I AM getting back into a routine.
I AM definitely remember what it is like to run on tired legs even if it’s just a mile.
I AM GOING TO MAKE IT TO DAY 30!
While I am very certain that streaking is not something that I would want to do long term, I do think it was a wise decision to lay it out there to do for thirty days. Now the question is no longer, “Will I run today?” but “When am I going to run today.”
There is not thought to it which makes it so much easier. It takes the excuses out of the equation and just makes them obstacles to overcome. Yes, I may be tired; but I’ve still got to run. Yes, it may be raining but I’ve got a rain jacket. Yes. Yes. Yes.
This week while busy, hopefully will allow some much needed breathing room and maybe even some more time for longer runs. Although, since my goal right now is 5K’s I really don’t need a ton of miles. This past week I ran just 11 miles, but they were probably 11 miles that I would not have run before I started this challenge. It became too easy to find an excuse even a good one not to run. 20 more days with a reason to run.
Here is not hoping that when this challenge is over that I will be back into the routine of running and running some more. Until then, I will just keep going.
Yesterday I went for my last long training run before I start to taper for the NY Half. It was a good training run for a whole different reason than most. It was good because as a whole it sucked.
Say what?
Going into the run…. I was tired form not getting enough sleep. The day before I had screwed up with taking my medications. On top of that on Saturday I had run hills had left my legs sore.
The run was a success for a host of reasons. First, I pushed myself out the door to go. Second, I did not shorten it and got the 11 miles in. And lastly, I never gave up.
Aerobically I felt good on this run. That is something because aerobically, I felt like I could keep going. But the sore legs, feet hurting, and tingling from low calcium would have been valid reasons to stop.
BUT
I pushed through. I stopped when needed to stretch. I walked when needed to. I used extra cal-ez and reminded myself to drink it which helped with tingles. This run makes me realize that I will finish this half no matter what. All runners no matter their health have good running days and bad one. This is why we train. So on those bad running days, we know that we can still get it done.
They say that to be a runner, you must learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Pain is not always your enemy. You just need to know where the line between pushing through and when your body has had enough. You can only do that by training. Yesterday’s run was uncomfortable, but a good uncomfortable.
After the run, a friend texted me
“I am proud of you for running through the suck….. this is getting used to a different normal for you, and it is that much harder for you than another runner.”
I have to be honest as you know I always am, I really used to hate this expression. I find it to be condescending. Smug and even a little obnoxious.
Not everyone wants to get off the couch. I’m not in competition with those that our sitting on their couch. Now though I look at it not as a way of shaming those who for whatever reason are not getting out there. I look at it as a way to say that I am willing to push myself past all the reasons that I could use to stay on the couch.
Recently (like today) though I’ve been thinking about it. A lot. It would be so much easier for me to give up. No one would blame me. Some might even think it is the smart thing to do. I can stop at any time if I wanted. Yet, for some reason I can’t.
It’s just not something that I am willing to do.
No one is pushing me out the door. Although I have awesome supportive friends, they would support me no matter what I decided to do. No one is making me train. No one is making me run or train for a marathon. (If anyone would like to, that would be fine with me).
Today’s run I knew would not be a good one. I knew it before I even walked out the door. My body aches. My foot is still hurting. I had 14 on the books and from the get go decided that I would do 10 today and run tomorrow to kind of make up the difference. (Yes, I know that’s not how training works; but sometimes you’ve got to adjust).
Out the door I went.
It wasn’t a horrible run, but it might have been up there with worst training runs. I walked more than I should. I stopped a few times to stretch. I just was Blah. All that being said, I ended up with an 11:40 pace.
Then I did something on my run today that I thought I would never do. I called for someone at home to pick me up. If I pushed, I knew I could finish. I was only 2 miles from home.
Here is the rub.
I didn’t want to. I just didn’t think with the way my body was feeling that it made any sense to do that. I also knew that it would not be good for my mental training either.
You would think that I would be freaking out since Chicago is less than a month away. I’m not. I’m actually pretty calm about it. Really this close to the race, pushing when I shouldn’t push will do more harm than good.
So I did the “ride of shame” home, but felt no shame.
I have no doubt that when I step up the Chicago Start line that I will also cross the Chicago finish line.
Remember I’m one stubborn and determined person. Besides, I do like getting a medal put around my neck.
The Accidentally Running Mama 