I can’t believe how much Yorvipath is making a difference. Not just in my running, but my day to day life as well.
While I love what this is doing for my running, I am not just taking this to be able to run. That is just a bonus. Living with untreated PTH loss (aka Hypoparathyroidism) was like living with one hand tied behind my back. Some days both.
As I told my family, I made it look easier than it actually was because what was the point otherwise. The constant worry if my calcium would crash. The self monitoring. The leg cramps. The cramping of hands.
So even if I wasn’t running, I would happily take it. The running is just a bonus.
Training has been going well. I even hit 20 miles for the week. Runs have felt good. Legs have felt good. To be honest, I am waiting for the shoe to drop it has been going so well.
I have also been working on controlling my pace. Thinking about which of the fall races will to be my goal race. Consistency will be the key.
My goal is not perfection, but to follow the plan as best I can.
The trick is not to get stuck when your down. Easier said then done.
Sometimes you get stuck through no fault of your own. Sometimes you can’t control what is happening. Happening to those around you. Happening to your body. Happening in your life.
Get a health diagnosis…. Out of your control
Loose your job…… Out of your control
Things people do in your circle…… Out of your control
It is a fallacy to say that we control our own destiny. Yes, I know there are those who would disagree. Yes, there are many things we control but the biggest thing is truly the way we react to all that life throws at you. The truth is sometimes we handle it well. Sometimes we don’t handle it at all and ignore and sometimes we just hold on and scream. Probably why life is often referred to as a roller coaster…. Or is that just me?
Anywho…. What does this have to do with my training? Not sure, but I do feel that I’m in agood space controlling all that life has been sending my way.
Trying to find my balance with working full time while still working my home baking business and my household.
Trying to find my balance with healthy eating and finding time for training without bringing myself to brink of exhaustion.
So far so good. I have 6 weeks to the NYC Half. While I have not been following my training plan exactly, I have been following. I am getting the miles in. I have been doing the cross training. I feel like this will be a good event. I have been going back and forth between following a walk/run plan to just going by feel. I know I will walk during the event. I just am still deciding if it will b part of the actual race day running plan or just a go with the flow thing. I have 6 weeks to figure it out. The most important thing is to get the miles in especially the long runs.
I am (so far) feeling confident in my training. Feeling like I am doing what I should be doing and that I will go into this event prepared to finish.
I am doing what is in my control and we will see how this all plays out:)
There is something to be said about waiting until you are ready to do something to actually start. There was no dread today. There was no, “I’ve go to go out for a run today,” said with dread.
None of it.
Today was a “I am going to go out for my run as soon as I’m done with my coffee” kind of day.
I can tell it has been a hot minute since I’ve seriously run as I couldn’t find my Garmin. Still can’t. Still looking, but I also didn’t let that deter me or stop me from getting out the door.
I was excited. It was a perfect day for running. The not too hot. Not too cold kind of day. No jacket required. At least for me as I always run hot.
My NYC Half training plan stated with a 3 mile run and that’s what I did. I didn’t watch pace, but did keep it as a conversational pace which I 100% did as I was on the phone the whole time! I walked when I got out of breath, but for the most part stayed at a stead pace.
Not too shabby if I do say so myself!
In all seriousness….. Not too shabby. I have not been doing anything unless you count testing and eating Christmas cookies. I’ve done a few walks, but have not run since I really don’t know when. Hopefully this is the beginning of a good training cycle.
I’ve got a plan loaded into Training Peaks. I am doing the Hal Higdon Novice 1, because let’s face it…..I am starting from scratch.
One day at a time…. One run at a time…. One workout at a time.
This is what it feels like to have fire again:)
This is what it is like to remember to show up for yourself.
I have not been doing what I should have been doing.
Some might say, that I’ve been slacking.
Maybe I have.
Maybe I have not.
I’ve really just been doing what I can to get by. Could I have pushed myself to do more? You bet! Did I want to? Eeeee….. a little but not enough to actually push. I’ve been really tired lately. We all are collectively tired. We all have responsibilites. Things that weigh on our minds. Things we know we should do, but don’t. Things we want to do, but also can’t. It is a vicious cycle.
After a hard reset where I am consulting with a dieticion, asking myself hard questions, and actally trying to put the pieces where they belong not necessarily where I want them to fit, I’ve come up with some ideas.
Here is the thing, if you know me you know that if I set my mind to do something; I am going to do it. If I make a commitement, I will see it through. Most of all, if you know anything about me; you know that Sandy Hook Promise is my jam. You know that as much as they need supporters like us, I feel the very real need to be part of the solution. (You can read about why they are important to me here….https://www.sandyhookpromise.org/blog/volunteer-resources/holiday-reflections-from-a-promise-leader/ )
So here is the deal, I am not ready to run a marathon. Virtual or not. I think part of my issue also is that being virtual, I let things slide that I would not have if I knew I would be at a start line with 50,000 people. Although I’ve done virtual marathon before that I was ready for, this year was different.
Here is my dilemma….. I said I was going to do it. I want to do it. I am committed to doing it. So I am going to do it. It won’t be what I imagined but it will be what is “smart” and what I physically think that I can do if not just a little out of my reach. Isn’t that what a marathon is all about anyone. It literally may take me all day to do it, but I will do it.
Now even though my training has not been stellar, that does not mean I’ve been sedentary. Remember I just completed a Sprint Triathlon. My runs may not have been long, but my cardio fitness is strong. Today due to the rain, I took it inside……. 90 minutes on stationary bike. Biking just under 30 miles. Then an hour on treadmill for just under 4.5 miles. So not a couch potato. I also felt like I could have kept going, but there were things to be done today.
I also just ordered new shoes, because I realize that I’ve been wearing and running in LAST YEAR’S marathon shoes. Not good. Shoes should arrive in another day or so.
So here is the plan…..
4 six mile loops at the park. I will ask my local peeps to join me for a loop, for a portion of the loop or just cheer me on from home. I will do some running. I will do a lot of walking. There will be some instagram/facebook posting. Hopefully there will be no crawling or crying but you know, it is a marathon. Anything is possible. In looking at the guidelines for the virtual marathon, it just needs to be one continuous run in Strava completed in 24 hours.
Easy, Peasy. Lemon Squeazy….
Oh wait….
Probably not, but it will be what it will be.
But it will happen and I hope you are there in any way that you can be. Also feel free to share my fundraising efforts with your friends and family, because as we know their efforts to bring change are needed more now than ever!
Why is it so hard to get your shit together, but so easy for it all to fall apart?
I’ve been plugging along. Seems like what I do. Just enough to keep moving. Just enough when things fall apart to use the excuse that I’m not prepared. Just enough to still get out the door, but not enough to push the envelope.
Tuesday of this week, without training other than a run here and there, I ran a 5K in town. My plan was just to run it to see how I did and felt. I met a friend and her friend on the course. I ran the last 2 miles with them. I finished. I finished in a respectable time. I finished with a big sprint at the end. I finished pushing it, but knowing that I could have kept going (slower but still going) which is good because I’m running a 10K Saturday.
I think I need to go back to the fake it till you feel it mantra. I keep signing up to do things because I want to do the event, but training isn’t high on priority list. Seeing as I signed up for a Sprint Triathlon for September and don’t want to drown, I better get a plan together. Plus I decided to do another big fall event virtually which will require it’s own post….. until then, it’s really time to get going.
I think I’ve just been so unmotivated for multiple reasons. Dealing with pinched nerve in neck. Working… Baking….. unmotivated…. then even more unmotivated… finally extremely unmotivated.
What gives?
Al I keep going back to is if without training I can run a 5K in 35:11 and not die, what would happen if I actually got my head out of the sand and trained?
One week in and 17 more to go, but training seems to be falling into place. Just so happens that a woman in my running circle is also planning to run NY. We are off similar ages and abilities. In talking to her, I explained the 80/20 plan that I am doing. She decided that is a good fit for her and the beautiful thing is that it seems like are fitness level and training zones are compatible, so it’s a go. We are doing slightly different plans, but we can make it work.
I forgot how good it was to run with people. I haven’t really done it in a long time even pre-covid. When people are training seriously even if they say “I will run whatever you are running,” it doesn’t always work out. They aren’t getting the training they need. You feel bad for holding them back or maybe worse run too fast which is worse than running too slow. So finding a training partner for a marathon where you can do many runs together is nice. Even better when you really like the person:)
So week one went well. I will say that holding back is harder than it sounds. All your life you are told to give it all you’ve got. ….To push yourself to the limits…..If you don’t push yourself who will. ……. I’m sure you can think of others that you’ve told yourself. It is always…. GO….GO…. GO.
Now it is…. Slow down. Don’t push it. Slow and steady. It’s harder than it sounds. More times than you would think this past week, it was “we are running too fast.” We need to slow down. We are breathing too hard. Now don’t get me wrong, with the heat and humidity in Jersey this past week slow and steady still was hard. The heart rate spiked a few times. Sweat happened. It was not “easy.”
Here is the thing though….. After this first week of running, there was not a run that when it ended I didn’t think that I could do more. I could run further. I could run faster. I also was able to recover from these runs which is key.
So as I dig deeper into this training, I really need to find out if the zone that my garmin is saying are the right zones. I also would love it if my heart rate didn’t seem to jump up quickly. To keep myself where I needed to be and bring my heart rate down, I would walk until I got back into the zone. So I need to work on this. It will come.
As I do this, I am also in the marathon of fundraising. It’s kind of like doing 2 marathons at once. I’m working on collecting auction items which after this last year you can imagine is not easy task, but onward I go. I’ve gotten some good ones already. (If you know of any, I’m all ears).
So onward I go….. Slow, Steady, and moving foward.
So many of us get caught up in the glory days of our past. Reminiscing about glory days…. Reminiscing is one thing, but getting lost in them is a whole other thing.
Lets be honest too. Often we skip over the sleepless nights of baby rearing saying how easy it was then. Remembering when we were in school think we had no cares. Forgetting both the social pressure and pressure to do well. We romanticize with most of our past this way.
There is really nothing sadder than a middle aged man or woman who is still living their glory days. Reveling in when they were star quarterback quarterback, cheerleader or any such thing. Having something amazing in front of you, but thinking it doesn’t compare to what you once had or worse dreamed of having. There is also nothing sadder than an athlete who keeps trying to hold on to their glory days too. In all of these cases, they are usually missing out on what is right in front of them.
Days you ran faster.
Days you ran further.
Oh what used to be.
Often we get so caught up in where we were that we forget to look forward to where we are going or even where we are now. Sometimes if we take off the rose colored glasses we also remember that our glory days are not as great as we make them out to be. We see this with people talking about their childhoods usually in comparison to the way kids are growing up now. They forget that it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be even if it was good. They look at it fondly forgetting the bad and while no one wants to focus on the bad, you can’t pretend it wasn’t there.
Now I am not saying that we should focus on the bad, but by discounting it sometimes it allows you to be stuck in the past because the future or present will never live up to it. Besides, they aren’t wrong when they say you can never go back.
You can’t.
Not going to happen.
Remember but don’t live in it.
Our lives change. Not just as an athlete, but as a human our lives change, our circumstances change and sadly our bodies change (and age). Now all that being said, you can be proud of your accomplishments. You can brag about them even, but what you can’t do is let them define where you are now. Most of all when you stop doing that you might just realize that you are able to enjoy today more than you did yesterday.
I’ve found that with my walking. Giving up where I was or thought I should be has allowed me to focus on where I am today. Now I am not saying that I will never run again because part of me already wants to run. That being said, I am enjoying learning what my body can do today. I have been walking at least a mile a day since June 21rst. I can walk more frequently and further without the physical downside when I was pushing to run (remember that whole Hypoparathyroidism thing).
Yesterday, I went out for a long walk as part of my NYC Virtual Marathon Training. I knew that I wanted to walk at least 8 but 10 was really my goal. When I reached 9.5, I met someone I know that was out walking and joined her. We chatted and I ended up hitting 11 miles. While I did end up with a blister (not uncommon for 3 hours on your feet) and I did need a short nap, I was not out for the count. I also realized that I need to stay true to this walking marathon training as the worst thing I can do is second guess where I am right now. The worst thing you can do is to try to make a major change in your training when you are in midst of it. I would only be setting myself up for failure.
Yes, I could most likely start running agin and I would be able to do it. The question is why would I be doing it. I would be doing it because I feel like it is expected to be doing it right now. When I tell people that currently I am not running and committed to walking, they do scratch their heads a little. It is not the norm to admit that you need a step back. It is not the norm to say that you are going to push it to the edge. It’s not the norm to admit that sometimes you need something different.
Then again as my friends can tell you……
I am not normal.
I’m ok with that.
Try it. It is freeing to break expectations. It is freeing to be who you are now. It is freeing to just be.
Sorry I’ve been off the grid. January has been a month to say the least. The first full week of January my husband and I both came down with what we assume was the flu. Down and out for the count. This is where I was thankful that my kids are old enough and self sufficient enough (when need be) to take care of themselves. Then was getting back into the swing of my routine and catching back up.
In the spirit of catching up, I did manage to sign up for a Half Marathon in April on my actual birthday. I will be doing the NJ Half at Rutgers. It was either this one or the NYRR Shape, but since did that one years ago I thought maybe something different this time.
The deciding factor was time as it will be easier to get in and out of this one. Plus it’s not 2 loops of the hills in Central Park. I even got a friend to do it with me. Win. Win.
Then the month kept rolling along. Yesterday, I had the fun of getting a colonscopy. Have to say the prep worried me a little bit because I wasn’t sure how my calcium would be, but I took extra in prepping for the prep. I did get a little tingles during the second dose of my prep, but I added some calcium and was good to go. What surprised me is my calcium getting low last night well after the procedure. Tingles around lips. Tell tail Chvostek sign. Hypoparathyroidism is a strange beast. I took some extra calcium and thankfully bounced back by morning.
I will say all of these things did make for a great month as far as helping me with my weight loss goal. Not what I would recommend to jump start your diet, but 8 pounds is 8 pounds and I’m even more motivated because I’m 2 pounds away from a number I haven’t seen in a while. So I guess now I have to stick with the healthy eating thing!
And since I was feeling better today, I went out for my first half marathon training run. I decided to go back to the very beginning using the Hal Higdon Novice 1 training program. This program is designed for those who have never done a Half before, but since I’m going back to basics I thought this was a great way to start. Besides I haven’t done much since NYCM and the Half is in 12 weeks, so I think this is just where I need to be.
I’ve decided I’m going back to the very beginning. Like I did all those years ago when I first hit the pavement, I am claiming this once again as the year of me. This means that I will be focusing on taking time for myself, getting myself in shape, and just enjoying seeing what I can do. I surprised myself all those years ago and I think I just might do it again. Who knows! I surprised myself on todays run which I allowed myself to walk when I needed. I ended up with very pretty negative splits and was happy with myself. What more can a runner ask for?
Changing from one stage to the next. Often we get comfortable in one stage and don’t like the thought of change. Most often the metamorphosis is not up to us and will happen whether we like it or not. Change is hard. Change is often unexpected. Change is inevitable.
The thing about change though is that often we are not ready for it. We have reached a level of comfort and we want to stay in the comfort zone. This does not mean that the comfort zone is all that comfortable, but we are used to it. We know it. We accept it. We can deal with the known because the unknown is frightening.
Surprise.
Time to move out of your comfy zone. You can not stop a change any more than the caterpillar can stay in it’s cocoon forever. It needs to break free and let the sun shine on it’s wings and fly. If it does not emerge from it’s cocoon it will wither and die.
So here I am. Now 5 Weeks till NYC Marathon getting ready to figure it all out again. I’ve been thinking this last week about my training. I’ve trained for marathons healthy. I’ve trained for marathons with hypoparathyroidism without Natpara. I’ve been training with hypoparathyroidism with Natpara which let me tell you is soooooo much nicer. Now 5 weeks till NYC Marathon I’m getting ready to figure it all out again.
Last year when I trained, I was able to build my miles up learning when I needed to ad more calcium, what would effect my levels, and how I needed to adjust my training. I was able to build up the miles slowly and plan accordingly. This training cycle with Natpara has been different as I have not been so symptomatic and it was going nicely. Now as my body adjusts to being off the Natpara even without the added stress of running, I need to figure out how much calcium to take, when to take it and also how much Calcitriol and supplements to take to find a balance. Add training for NY to the mix and it is a little stressful. My body and even mentally I’m trying to work it all out. Instead of having the summer to figure it out and get it together, I literally have weeks.
It can be done. It will be done. I was scrambling. Doubting. Wondering how to pull it all together. A good friend shared with me an 8 week marathon training plan with low millage. I’ve been putting in the miles. I have the base. I can do this. It is not designed for someone who is looking to race, PR, or push. It is designed for someone like me who just wants to get to the finish line. So I’m jumping in with 5 weeks to go and let this next transformation be what it will be.
Life is filled with one new beginning after another. The road to life has many turns, backtracking, ups & downs and hopefully always moving forwards. There are many stops along the way, but the trick is not to idle too long or you may get stuck in one place.
Each journey along the road is a start of something new filled challenges, hopes, dreams and sometimes set backs. When we come to the beginning of a new road, we can either face the challenge, avoid it, change direction or drive into it. Sometimes starting a new journey is familiar. Some times it can be scary. Often a journey begins with hope.
I am about to embark on a few new journeys. Two familiar, yet not the same. One totally new and even with planning, research, and knowledge still a little frightening, exciting, and unknown.
The first journey is the beginning of my NYC Marathon training for Sandy Hook Promise. This is a journey that I faced before, yet it will still be a different road with new challenges, thrills, and hopes. This journey is scary not just for the training of the marathon but the fundraising aspect of it.
For the marathon running, I have been there done this as the saying goes. That being said, I have not done the 2019 marathon whose weather, training, and everything in between still has not been written. I am embarking on a 28 week training plan that has already started. The plan I have chosen is a basic marathon training plan with a slow build up, but will get me to the finish line. For now, I am not setting any training goals other than to finish better than last years 6 plus hour marathon. I also, for now, am not in a place to think about more than just a basic marathon training plan nor do I want to do more than be prepared.
For the marathon fundraising, I have been there done that once before; but again that was last year. This year my goal once again is $3,000 which is a scary goal that I am committed to hitting. For those who have never run as a charity runner, when you make this commitment it is not I will try. It is do and if you don’t hit your mark, you have signed a contract that you will personally make the payment. This is why you must be committed to the cause you are fundraising to which I am. I have been a believer in Sandy Hook Promise since they first organized and I signed up with them. That being said, it is a scary prospect as a mother of 3 children, one finishing his first year of college, one who is currently looking at colleges, to make a commitment like this. So far I’ve raised $50…. Gulp…… That being said, I have just started and this fundraiser is a marathon in itself.
Lastly I will also be starting a new adventure in my treatment of Hypoparathyroidism. The medication, Natpara, awaits in proper temperature in my refrigerator for the Natpara Nurse to come Monday to teach me how to prepare the mediation and give myself the daily injections. This is an exciting road that I’m hoping does not have too many bumps as I work out proper dosage and also adjust calcium supplements and Calcitrol dosage. I’m not expecting this to go without a hitch but hoping that it is easy transition. Once I start this treatment and get levels/dosage where they should be with any luck much of the issues that come from not producing the PTH hormone will be gone and my body can go back to factory settings.
Fingers crossed!
New beginnings are a part of life and I’m happy to be taking these paths right now.
The Accidentally Running Mama 