Archives

Listening to My Body

May18

Yesterday was race day.

When I started training for the Brooklyn Half, I thought realistically that a 2:45 was not out of range with enough training. My last two prior half marathons have been just under 3 hours. So it was not unreasonable to think with push and training, it could happen. It was a reasonable A goal.

As you know, training had been going well right up until I hit a few speed bumps with my calcium. I missed some runs due to not feeling up to it and then there was the whole fiasco of the calcium crash.

In speaking to my doctor, she was advising on the side of caution. She thought it would be prudent not to run. In talking though, she said if I didn’t push and did a lot of walking that would be for the best.

That was the plan…..

So how did it go……. Here’s the recap

I prepared the night before. Carefully not only laying out my clothes, but also getting all calcium/meds ready to go. Taking extra just in case. I decided to go back to adding powdered calcium to my water. Thinking that I would take plain water at water stops which worked well. On top of that, I took a dose of my calcitriol/calcium at 4:00 am before leaving for city. I also upped my normal calcitirol dose at this time.

The morning of the race started off with alarm not going off leaving me 20 minutes to get ready which is why it is good to have everything ready to go. Nothing was forgotten.

Get into the city to find that the parking that NYRR said was available was not in deed available. That provided some added stress as we were parking at the finish line near Coney Island and then needed to take train to Prospect Park for the Start. We were lucky to find a small lot that actually was very reasonable at $20. Dawn was right when she said, “they could have charged double and we would gladly have paid.”

Then off to the trains to go to Prospect start. Get to the Corral for our 8:20 start time. Before the race started, I took my normal dose of calcium/calcitriol. Then go to start my watch and realize that for some reason my Garmin did NOT charge!!!!!!!

Now I wasn’t running for time. I was planning to listen to my doctor, but I’m still a runner and like my tracking. I also thought it would be good to keep me in check as I do tend to start off too fast in big races. I also run faster than I can maintain or should be, but it was what it was.

I was running all on feel.

It was strange not to have a watch to watch. Although out of habit, I looked at the blank screen several times during the race. I took off at what I felt was a comfortable pace. I was feeling good. Then at the 5k water stop, I saw the 2:45 pace group and realized thats not where I should be.

I had to remind myself that my goal this race what not so much a time, but to keep my levels in the zone. I also realized that the conditions were very similar to the day I had the big crash. It was HOT. It was HUMID. The heat is not my friend. I was sweating.

With exercise everyone burns through calcium, but their bodies usually replenish by taking from bones. No worries though because this is a normal process and is actually good for bone health. For those of us with Hypoparathyroidism, this does not happen. There is no calcium regulation. So as our body burns up the calcium through sweat and heavy exercise, it must be manual added with our supplements and meds. Downside is that we just have to make educated guesses when to add.

Yesterday I hit it right – with the added meds and I do think the added calcium in the water. My doctor said it takes about 20 minutes for the meds to hit which is why it is important to add before feeling low. So thats what I did.

So I ran by feel. I walked a lot. I reminded myself that I did a lot of walking in training. When I walked, I power walked. When I ran, I ran by feel.

As you can see I did start off too fast. I adjusted. There were times that I thought I could/should run and push myself. I reminded myself that I needed to finish a smart race. A race that was more about being smart. I had no idea what time I was going to finish, but honestly this was my B goal.

It was a good day. A day to prove that I can do hard things.

Running Smart

May14

I’ve run smart races.

I’ve run races not smart.

It is much better to run them smart.

After seeing my Hypopara Endocrinologist, we talked about how I’ve been been more syptomatic with low calcium symptoms. Yes, there was the crash after my last 10 mile run, but there I’ve also been having “normal” low calcium symptoms on a regular basis. Things like muscle cramps, tingles, and muscle spasms.

These are just things you get used to.

Here’s the thing….. You forget that these are not normal. They are just your normal.

In talking with my doctor, we don’t see any reason for the changes. My only thought is that I may have been under stress but even then.

I’ve run more marathon’s with Hypopara than with out at this point. Even with all my marathon training and Hat Trick training, my calcium has not been this bad. The only thought I’ve had is that I did used to run with powdered calcium in my water. Although I haven’t done that in years.

I’m going to try again. While it really is never a good thing to try something new on race day, I will be adding powdered calcium to my water. I will still have my regular doses with me, but I’ve got to figure out dosing.

Again, there is no way to measure calcium levels in real time. My doctor did say that it is better to go too hight than too low.

We also talked about my last crash and while she said it was smart to go home to where my meds were to make sure to take care because if it continued to go lower instead of regulating that it could cause a cardiac event…. And that based on my account and documented photos, it was a “severe crash.”

Now being she is the medical profession, she did caution about running Brooklyn. That being said, she also said as long as I did it smartly it should be ok since I’ve completed two other 10 miles runs in training. I also said, that I would be smart and if I end up having to walk a bunch, I will.

I will get to the start.

I will get to the finish.

I will be smart.

I will probably be very slow.

I do not anticipate that I will meet any A goal that I once floated at the start of my training.

The upside…… I am still moving.

Plus I have the hope of now getting on the therapy replacement plan and then it will be game on.

It Will Be What it will Be

May4

Yesterday I met up with a running buddy for our last 10 miler before Brooklyn. Two weeks to go. Training has been going ok, but as I’ve mentioned I’ve been having some low calcium issues. Nothing to write home about, but I know I’ve been low. When you know you know.

So Dawn and I set off. We had no plan or pace, but we kept each other in check…. Kept from running too fast, too slow or too much walking. We met at a park and got looped back around mile 6. I have been adding calcium/cacitriol at this point. I could tell that it was time as I was getting a few finger tingles, but nothing too bad. Took my pills and refilled water and off we went.

I started lopping back to the park only for Dawn to question. I had gotten confused and then was sad to realize that we had more miles because we would have gotten bak at 8 not 10. Oops…. My bad.

We change it up and get back to the park at 9.75 and we get it to 10 in the park. All is good although I’m happy to be done, but nothing too bad.

We take the required picture:)

Then we head off to our cars to get water and at this point I’m thinking I want to take some more calcium. I had been feeling tingles in hands during end of run and now was feeling it in my upper arms.

As we are talking, I get my pills. I start with 1 calcium. I immediately rethink and decide to take 1 more and some more calcitiol which I might not have needed but I was pretty sure a crash was coming.

I was right.

Apparently I said to Dawn, “It’s coming.”

She thought, “What’s coming?”

Then she saw.

Both hands and arms were full on tetany. I thought best option would be to get home. I asked Dawn to drive me as we were only a few minutes away and thought maybe just to add some more calcium. Plus I would be home:)

While she may not have been calm on the inside, she remained cool, calm and collected. As we got to my house, I used voice command to call hubby who came out to get me. When I got inside, I sat took some more calcium and slowly…. Slowly……. My body released.

I texted with doctor…. Continued to add some extra calcium for remaining of the day and all is well.

In retrospect…..

It was much warmer than I realized. I even got some color from the sun. Heat is not my friend.

I had been dealing with low calcium symptoms during the week and probably started in a deficient.

Again – it was hotter than I realized

Those without Hypopara (my friends and spouse included) might have been shocked by what happened. I was not. Although it was worse than the last crash.

It is what it is.

Funny not funny during the run, Dawn and I spoke of my last crash. I had said to her that wouldn’t it be nice to have a monitoring device that could tell you when your levels were off like a diabetic.

Yup…. Wouldn’t it be nice

We also talked about making sure that I could easily get to my pills without having to worry about opening something.

Anyway this did put things in perspective. Yes, I will rethink race day. I will take into account weather. I will make sure to have levels in check prior to race day. I will make sure to put info on back of race bib and will make sure to know where medical tents are.

Most of all, I will not let this stop me. I will just make sure to be smart.

Perfect timing, I already had an appointment for a Hypopara study that I am participating in. I am doing my 24 hour urine collection today followed by some testing tomorrow. I will also get to see my Dr who I will discuss what I need to do.

It is Enough

May1

Shhhhh… Don’t tell anyone but….

I am overweight.   Thanks to many factors, I might be adding instead of subtracting pounds.   Based on charts, I would be considered obese.   I am out of shape.   When I run I have been known to huff and puff.   I am not as strong as I used to be.    I am not as flexible as I used to be.    I’m definitely not as young as I used to be!  Sometimes I look at pictures and think…. Damn, what happened.

To be honest though while it does cross my mind on occasion, most of the time I just don’t give a shit.    Does my weight determine how I live my life?   Not a chance.    Does my weight determine if I head out the door to run or exercise?   Nope.    Does it keep me from living my life and doing the things I want to do?  Never.  Does my weight effect the way I fit in my jeans?   Yup.    Does the size of my jeans affect my overall life happiness?   Hell no!

All my life, I’ve been beating the odds.   I’ve been the one who was picked last for gym class.    I’ve been the one who is looked past and over.    I say this not for a pity party because who needs that.   I say this because at this point in my life, I don’t care and if you didn’t pick me to be on your team I wouldn’t want to play with you anyway.  If you look past me, no worries because I’m probably have a plan of where I need to be anyway.

I say these things because they are true.   I say these things because they are what made me who I am today.   They made me stronger.   I had to find my own self worth.   I had to find what made me who I am today.   I define who I am.   I define what I am and what I will do.

Now please don’t take that to mean that I don’t need others and others opinions aren’t important.    I’m just saying that although it is nice when others build a person up that you must learn to build yourself up first or it means nothing.    If you spend your life looking for validation from others, you will never truly be satisfied or know your worth.

So while I know that some might look at me at shake their heads wondering how I consider myself a runner and  an athlete, I do.    I know that I don’t have the speed of some.   I don’t have the agility or endurance of some.   I don’t have a lot, but what I have is enough.

I have the will.   I have the desire.   I push myself when it’s hard.   I push myself to be more than I was.  I strive to be better, stronger, faster than I thought I could be.   I also know that what I have to offer is enough.    That while I could always be better and improve myself, that who and what I am today is enough.

And while all of that is true, we all know that I have talked about trying to get the number down on the scale. At my last doctor visit, I had gained an additional 10 pounds which was always the number I said I couldn’t hit. My doctor said something that stuck with me, “Don’t let this be your new normal” after I said that to her.

Since that visit in December, I have tried on my own a few different ways. None of them stuck while the weight did. I very much like to have a plan. I think I’ve found one that I’ve been doing for a few days now. I like it. It makes sense to me and it is easy to follow.

So with that I will say that I signed up for Weight Watchers. I signed up for a 10 month plan as I have 30 pounds as my goal.

More to follow

Even When It’s Hard

Apr29

Last week I’ve been dealing with low calcium symptoms. Nothing major, but knowing that I needed to dial it back a bit.

I skipped a couple workouts. I just couldn’t seem to get to where I should push it. Cramping, muscle spasms and such. Didn’t help that I also forgot my pills at work one day . I was a hot mess.

Muscle spams

Nothing major, but it went on for a bit. Here is the thing, you have to listen to your body. My body was saying slow it down. Besides this close to the haf, it wan’t going to make or break me.

Sunday I went out for my long run. I procrastinated and procrastinated until it was time to go…. I just wasn’t feeling it, but thought it was just that pre run don’t want to go.

So off I went.

Around mile 5 I took a 250 mg calcium. Usually on long runs I do this around mile 6. By mile 6 I decided to take another 250 and my calcitriol as I was feeling tingly fingers. I knew at this point I could no longer push it running, but I really wanted to get the miles in.

So I got them in,

Done in is done and that is all that mattered. I am glad that I got it done and glad I didn’t push it. By time I got home I needed to add some more calcium.

I was toast…. But as someone said

10 miles is 10 miles.

Made sure to rest, recover and take my calcium

Two days later, I am back on track on back on my training schedule. Yesterday was rest day.

Just like I say, I need to train for the weather; I also need to train where I’m at. I could have calcium issues on race day and this will also help me to be prepared.

Plugging Along

Apr1

Maybe the secret isn’t being the best of the best.

Maybe the secret isn’t running harder or faster.

Maybe the secret isn’t anything other than…..

Just to keep plugging along. To keep moving. To not give up. To just keep moving.

Down to 6 weeks till Brooklyn.

It’s not exciting or fancy, but I am plugging along.

That is what I’m doing.

It’s not bold or exciting, It’s just getting runs, biking and cross training.

It’s just not giving up.

Just plugging along. Doing my thing. I’ve been “following” a training plan, but I’ve been following my way. Maybe doing a indoor bike run instead of mid week run. Changing up runs, but getting them done.

Sunday, I went for my long run. Normally a long run would be done at a much slower pace, but I had a plan. I would walk the first mile. Then I would do 5 miles at what I might think of doing at the half and then slow for last mile. For the most part, I stuck to the plan.

Mission accomplished.

Here is the thing though, I needed to remind myself to control my pace…. And I did. I ran the paces that I wanted. The only change I made was was the last mile. Instead of walking it, I ran like it was the finish and then walked the last quarter mile.

The best part of this run is that I felt like I could keep going. So there is that.

6 weeks to go…..

Don’t Forget

Mar21

I can do hard things. I’ve done hard things.

Today’s Facebook memories from 9 years ago were filled with NYC Half Marathon.

A sub 2 half…. Right under the wire at 1:58:59

This was a race that I worked with amazing coach to achieve. This was a race I trained hard for.

It was hard.

It wasn’t easy.

I wasn’t sure that I would be able to do it.

Yet, I did.

Now mind you this was 9 years ago…. 8 months before my thyroid surgery that left me Hypopara.

Here’s the thing though….. I know due to getting older, the whole Hypopara thing, and the extra pounds that I am no longer chasing the sub w half.

I get that. I really do, but what was hard and impossible then became reachable and possible. That doesn’t mean that I can’t still do hard things. It’s just that I think I forgot it.

This was a good reminder. Not just for my running and fitness, but for life in general.

Mar17

Yesterday was the NYC Half.

I did not run it this year, but happily tracked several friends who did. It’s nice to be on the support team only tracking. Although I must say for a half, the NYC half is a great race. This year they had excitement of running over the Brooklyn Bridge. To to say that made me a little jealous.

That being said, even if I was scheduled to run it I would have been sidelined as I ended up having a stomach bug. You can run through a lot, but a stomach bug isn’t one…. At least not for me. I didn’t even make it out for my 6 mile run as I was passed out on the couch all day.

After sleeping all day, then going to be for a solid 10 hours, I woke up feeling better. I took the day off of work. My appetite wasn’t total back but did have energy even though I had some symptoms of low calcium this morning. It was a good day to catch up on cleaning out and up in a way you can only do when on one is home to get in your way… LOL

Anywho…. Back to the running……

I’ve been thinking and looking at my last few half marathon times. They have all been in right around 3 hours.

So the question is can I do better? Do I want to push to do better? And if so, I need to keep going with my training.

Hmmmmmm

Time will tell……

And then the question is, what do I want to do?

Jan26

Some might say that I have been doing this for a long time without reaching some of my goals.

Maybe that’s true.

Maybe it’s not.

My goals have changed along the way. My thoughts of what is necessary has changed. What and where I want to be has changed. I know my body has changed and what it can do too. Always moving forward though. Maybe no longer reaching for that golden ring, but happy with the consolation prize. Bobbing and weaving, even when the finish line keeps moving.

So maybe it’s not about reaching the goal, but continuing to reach for it without giving up.

Tomorrow starts my 16 week training plan for the Brooklyn Half. As of now I do not have a goal for the race other than to run it well. To me that will mean to go into this event trained by following my training plan. To continue with the cross training to hopefully also go into this race injury free.

At the 8 week mark, I will access where I am with my training and adjust training for the goal.

So here we go……

Last time I ran Brooklyn in 2015, I ran it in 2:14:47. That’s not happening or anything even close to that. That being said, my last half was 2:59:18. So, honestly, I am starting my training with 3 hours in mind.

Never giving up…. Never baking down…. Still moving….

What more can I ask for?

Letting Go

Jan15

It is so easy to get caught up in the numbers, the data, and if your garmin didn’t record it that it didn’t happen.

I am trying to let that go.

I have been doing my 20 minutes of daily wall pilates. I’ve been walking. I’ve been riding stationary bike and going on treadmill.

Many recorded.

Some not.

You know what if it isn’t documented, it still happened. It is making a difference. I am noticing less aches and pains. I am noticing feeling a little bit stronger. I am confident that this is the way to go.

I am not going from zero to sixty too fast. I am easing into these changes in a way that speaks to where I am and not was or want to be. I am matching my exercise routine with the reality of where my body is today and what it could do.

In my Crossfit days, I was a bad ass. I could lift and do WOD’s breaking into a sweat but get them done. I am not the same, but the determination is the same.

That is enough.

Not if it is recorded by my watch.

Not if no one sees it.

I know…..

And that is enough.