I had been thinking about challenges/goals for the coming year. I wasn’t sure what it would be.
The goal came to me.
I had forgotten that I put in for the NYC Half lottery. I was reminded, when I got the email.
I wasn’t sure how happy I was because logistically NYC events are a bit of a pain. Worth it, but still a pain. The exciting part is that 2 of my running friends also got in. So misery loves company.
I’ve been thinking about goals for event now too. I’m thinking if I could finish the Bethlehem Running Festival in 2:41:08 after running 3 other races that weekend, I would train for a possible 2:30 half. We shall see. We shall see.
Then after wrapping my head around that, two of my suns have roped me into a 6K Spartan race. Fortunately that won’t be till summer. So one goal at a time.
When I started training for the Brooklyn Half, I thought realistically that a 2:45 was not out of range with enough training. My last two prior half marathons have been just under 3 hours. So it was not unreasonable to think with push and training, it could happen. It was a reasonable A goal.
As you know, training had been going well right up until I hit a few speed bumps with my calcium. I missed some runs due to not feeling up to it and then there was the whole fiasco of the calcium crash.
In speaking to my doctor, she was advising on the side of caution. She thought it would be prudent not to run. In talking though, she said if I didn’t push and did a lot of walking that would be for the best.
That was the plan…..
So how did it go……. Here’s the recap
I prepared the night before. Carefully not only laying out my clothes, but also getting all calcium/meds ready to go. Taking extra just in case. I decided to go back to adding powdered calcium to my water. Thinking that I would take plain water at water stops which worked well. On top of that, I took a dose of my calcitriol/calcium at 4:00 am before leaving for city. I also upped my normal calcitirol dose at this time.
The morning of the race started off with alarm not going off leaving me 20 minutes to get ready which is why it is good to have everything ready to go. Nothing was forgotten.
Get into the city to find that the parking that NYRR said was available was not in deed available. That provided some added stress as we were parking at the finish line near Coney Island and then needed to take train to Prospect Park for the Start. We were lucky to find a small lot that actually was very reasonable at $20. Dawn was right when she said, “they could have charged double and we would gladly have paid.”
Then off to the trains to go to Prospect start. Get to the Corral for our 8:20 start time. Before the race started, I took my normal dose of calcium/calcitriol. Then go to start my watch and realize that for some reason my Garmin did NOT charge!!!!!!!
Now I wasn’t running for time. I was planning to listen to my doctor, but I’m still a runner and like my tracking. I also thought it would be good to keep me in check as I do tend to start off too fast in big races. I also run faster than I can maintain or should be, but it was what it was.
I was running all on feel.
It was strange not to have a watch to watch. Although out of habit, I looked at the blank screen several times during the race. I took off at what I felt was a comfortable pace. I was feeling good. Then at the 5k water stop, I saw the 2:45 pace group and realized thats not where I should be.
I had to remind myself that my goal this race what not so much a time, but to keep my levels in the zone. I also realized that the conditions were very similar to the day I had the big crash. It was HOT. It was HUMID. The heat is not my friend. I was sweating.
With exercise everyone burns through calcium, but their bodies usually replenish by taking from bones. No worries though because this is a normal process and is actually good for bone health. For those of us with Hypoparathyroidism, this does not happen. There is no calcium regulation. So as our body burns up the calcium through sweat and heavy exercise, it must be manual added with our supplements and meds. Downside is that we just have to make educated guesses when to add.
Yesterday I hit it right – with the added meds and I do think the added calcium in the water. My doctor said it takes about 20 minutes for the meds to hit which is why it is important to add before feeling low. So thats what I did.
So I ran by feel. I walked a lot. I reminded myself that I did a lot of walking in training. When I walked, I power walked. When I ran, I ran by feel.
As you can see I did start off too fast. I adjusted. There were times that I thought I could/should run and push myself. I reminded myself that I needed to finish a smart race. A race that was more about being smart. I had no idea what time I was going to finish, but honestly this was my B goal.
It was a good day. A day to prove that I can do hard things.
Some might say that I have been doing this for a long time without reaching some of my goals.
Maybe that’s true.
Maybe it’s not.
My goals have changed along the way. My thoughts of what is necessary has changed. What and where I want to be has changed. I know my body has changed and what it can do too. Always moving forward though. Maybe no longer reaching for that golden ring, but happy with the consolation prize. Bobbing and weaving, even when the finish line keeps moving.
So maybe it’s not about reaching the goal, but continuing to reach for it without giving up.
Tomorrow starts my 16 week training plan for the Brooklyn Half. As of now I do not have a goal for the race other than to run it well. To me that will mean to go into this event trained by following my training plan. To continue with the cross training to hopefully also go into this race injury free.
At the 8 week mark, I will access where I am with my training and adjust training for the goal.
So here we go……
Last time I ran Brooklyn in 2015, I ran it in 2:14:47. That’s not happening or anything even close to that. That being said, my last half was 2:59:18. So, honestly, I am starting my training with 3 hours in mind.
Never giving up…. Never baking down…. Still moving….
The beauty of living close to NYC is being able to do NYRR races. The downside of living close to NYC is how early you must get up to go in for a NYC race. Logistics are not horrible, but it still adds time to your day. To be honest, I always plan more about getting in than getting out. It really is because I know that I can get on a train and get home even if I’m not that familiar with the trains.
So up at 4 AM and meet up for the van that was taking several of us in at 5. Seems too early which it is especially when you are starting in last wave. That being said, some of the women in the van are speedy and do need to be there early. Plus the roads around the race will close. So up and out early.
When I signed up for this race, I did think that one of my running friends would with me. I knew early on in my training though that would not be the case. I’m used to be a solitary runner, so it was not a deal braker fro me. I was running this race for me anyway:)
I prepped all my things the night before and thought that I was all good to go. Right up until I got there and realized that I forgot my headphones. The way I looked at it thought if you were going to gorget something on race day, this really is the best thing to forget. Especially at a NYC race. There is always so much to see.
The weather was perfect for race day. Chilly in the morning, but running temps were perfect. I always run hot anyway. So I planned to wear shorts with long compression socks, a short sleeve shirt and running sleeves. It all worked out. Throwaway jacke and blanket till the start. Checked bag for the finish. All Good.
As I said in previous post, I did not train for pace, but did have my plan for race day. I knew not to get caught up in the excitement in the beginning and just make sure to stay true to my training. I wanted to stay in the high 12/low 13 pace. I ran most, but walked when I felt I needed to or on a hill. Most of all is I enjoyed the day. I took in the crowds. I enjoyed the sites. I took pleasure in being able to do what I was doing.
Around mile 9 on one of the bridges a woman ran by me. She thanked me for running for Sandy Hook Promise. She then said she used to live in Newton and again appreciated me running for them. It was a boost that I needed. I got several of these through out the day. From seeing another Sandy Hook Promise runner as I was getting ready to start the race to something as simple as seeing a sign with an S (Sandy Hook Promise) on it when I was getting tired. Then on another occasion seeing an N (Newton) . Yes, you see signs when you are looking. I was looking.
At mile 10, my Sandy Hook Promise cheer zone was there and they always bring a smile to my face. At mile 12 my friend whose daughter was running was there with her daughter who finished much earlier than me (started wave 2 and ran sub 2). So I kept running.
As I was walking another runner came up to me and asked if she could finish the race with me. She hit the wall. So we walked, we ran, we chatted and most of all we got each other to the finish line. It was a picture perfect ending to a great day!
Although with a big event it’s never really over as it takes miles of walking to get out of park and home. All worth it..
When I worked with a running coach a few years ago, she always had me come up with 3 goals prior to an event.
A Goal – A goal within reach, but one that you need to work for
B Goal – A doable goal
C Goal – What is the minimum that you will be happy with.
So for the NYC Half, I kept these goals to myself. I knew going into my training that I really would like to run the half in under 3 hours. While training, I did not train for this goal so much as realize that this was within reach if I pushed just enough. I mostly trained by feel and heart rate. I made sure to do my training runs at a push and my long runs slower than I felt I could push. I always wanted to finish a training run like I could do more if needed. I usually did too.
One thing that I was very conscious of during my training is that I did not want to add extra calcium. What I tried to do was to time my daily calcium in a way to incorporate into my runs.
It has taken me some time since my surgery to get to this point, but I finally finally finally came to the mindset of………. I want to run, but I need to run smart. All the time. I can not push the pace to the point where I need to add more calcium. While it temporarily will feel right, long term it is not for me.
Since my surgery, I have been fighting high urine calcium levels. At it’s highest it was 578. (For those not Hypopara and unfamiliar anything over 250 is high. For Hypopara, your doctors try to keep it in around 300)……. Now it was at the highest, when I was taking .5 calcitriol twice a day with calcium through out the day. I also took extra calcium to run runs the way that pushed my body. My levels have come down, but even with being careful they are steadily going back up. I am currently at levels over 350.
So what does this mean…… basically these higher levels are hard on my kidney’s. I am lucky that currently I have had no kidney issues; BUT I say this as my kidney functions have moderate loss of function. Not enough that I would notice, but until a PTH (Parathyroid Hormone that regulates calcium & phosphate in body) I will need to continue to take medication to regulate. These help me function like a normal person but also are hard on the kidneys. I am not willing to push my kidneys to the limit to run a pace that matters to no one.
Seriously, who cares about my pace?
For a while after my surgery, I did. I wanted to maintain where I was prior to surgery. I wanted to pretend that the surgery and Hypopara didn’t change me, but the truth of the matter it did. It was also about pride. I wanted to run the paces that I could. No lie, I did enjoy pushing myself. Running a Sub 2 half (prior to surgery). Running 9 minute paces. Being a front of the middle runner.
Guess what?
I am no longer a mid pack runner. I am a back of the pack runner. I am starting in the last wave and in some cases the last corral.
Here is what I’ve come to realize though……
I am starting. I am running…… I am still me. Sometimes you have to swallow your pride. Put it aside and know that it only matters to you. When I was able to put pride aside, I was able to train where I am and not where I wanted to be. I was able to train smart. To listen to my body. To run smarter and not harder. By doing that, I was able to actually do what I wanted to do.
I put pride aside. I made a realistic goal. If I hadn’t made it, I would have been ok. But the fact that I made it shows that I am doing what I need to do. Most of all, I did it by working smarter and not harder.
So what does this mean….
This means more running in my future. I even signed up for a fall race. One that I did previously. The Hat Trick. A 5k & 10K on a Saturday followed by a half on Sunday.
Crazy?
Yes.
Exciting?
You bet…. Can’t wait.
Stay tuned because believe it or not, there is more to talk about regarding the NYC Half. Although this is enough for today.
Fear of failure can push us to hard or not hard enough.
It can make us stand still or push us forward.
The question though is who defines your failures?
Is trying and not succeeding failure or is not trying at all the failure?
It can also make you spread yourself too thin as I mentioned the other day.
But what if fear of failure has more to do more with fear of not. Being perfect.
You know the whole getting in shape befor eyou start going to the gym.
Worrying that you won’t hit a specific pace. That you aren’t what you think you should be.
Fear of failure can keep you from updating your blog because what if you put it out there and you swing and miss.
So yesterday I ran the NYC United Half Marathon. I went inot it fairly trained. I followed my training plan. I didn’t follow it by pace, but by heart rate, feel and distance. I put the miles in. I did what I needed to do to feel like I could “comfortable” run the distance.
I had a thought of what I wanted to run. My A goal was it be under 3 hours. Based on my paces from training, I felt that if I ran a smart race that it was an achievable goal. My B goal was 3:30. If the wheels fell off, just finishing.
I did it…….
I brought my A game.
There is more to this story which I will tell tomorrow.
For now though, I am happy to know that I didn’t let fear stop me from doing what I set out to do. I did it smartly. I did it with hard work. Most of all, I did it with a smile.
Most ”normal” people need to be talked into running a marathon. Usually either a friend will lure them in or it is a personal goal, but event then there must be some type of persuasion to do it. Unless, of course, you have already run a marathon. Then it isn’t so much talking youreslef into running another marathon as much as trying to keep yourself from inadvertantly signing up for another one.
How do I know this?
Because I am living the life.
I truthfully without sarcasm have 110% been honest that I am done running marathons. I love the idea of not training for anything. I have talked with friends about how awesome it would be to meet up for a run and then do brunch. We are even planning to go to NYCM as spectators and then do brunch again. It seems like a great plan. An amazing plan. A fun plan. A sane plan.
I also admit that my body is tired. I have been spending countess hours working on getting my home baking business into an actual business while still working almost 30 hours outside of the home. Oh and ”taking care” of said home and all that is supposed to entail. While having somewhat of a non existent but existent social life that someone who is a extrovert introvert (it’s a real thing) enjoys.
I have not been lying when I say that I don’t want to train for any more marathons They are grueling. It is exhausting. The whole process is horrendous. Seriously. Does ANYONE really enjoy training for a marathon?
So why do we do it? Why do we put ourselves through so much for the ”pleasure” of running 26.2 miles on race day. The blisters….. The early wake up….. The training when we don’t want to……. the feet issues….. the chaffing….. so many reasons not to do it. So many VALID and SANE reasons not to do it……..
Conversation with son this morning in car as we see an ”elderly female runner.”
Son, ”that’s you.”
Me, ”No, she is running faster than me and has better form. Although, I have filled out my application to run NYCM for Sandy Hook Promise again. I haven’t sent it in yet though because I’m not sure.”
Son, ”Don’t Do it. You ALWAYS regret it.”
Truer words have not been spoken…….
Yet….. here we are with my finger one key stroke away from hitting send. Will saner minds prevail or will I jump back into crazy town. I, honestly, don’t know…… I wasn’t lying when I said I was done with the marathon. I’m just not sure that the marathon is done with me especially when this would be 10 marathon and also with 10th anniversary of Sandy Hook.
As seems to be my MO, I ran another race I was not trained for this past weekend. This time when I say that I wasn’t trained, I mean I really wasn’t trained! Training was lagging, but I was on track somewhat especially as I had just come off NYC Half. I had put in some miles with the longest being 8. I was feeling good, but then I was sidelined by the cold everyone seemed to get after remerging from out masks. This was a cold that would not quit and then turned into a lovely sinus infection. So for the 3 weeks before the Shape Half Marathon I did nothing. Like seriously N O T H I N G. Unless you count blowing nose constantly and sleeping something which I don’t think counts.
I had thought about backing out, but not seriously. I knew that I would finish but I would have to just take it as it came. Although if I had remembered how hilly 2 loops of Central Park were and how Harlem Hill sucks so bad, I might have given it more thought. I had no plan. I had no pace. I just went with the flow. I was lucky to even show up. As a side not right before I left my home, I threw up. It was a combo of taking my antibiotic with coffee followed by brushing teeth. It didn’t set well.
The flow was wobbly. I ran the first 10 with the same woman that I ran the first half of the NYC Marathon. Since I didn’t have a plan and we are similiarly paced, I went with hers. She was run walking with a 5 to 1 ratio. It wasn’t pretty but it worked. the last 3 miles we went our own way which meant that she ran/walked and I pretty much walked. Central Park is a hard run when not trained…. ok any course is hard not trained, but the hills of central Park are no joke. My quads were not laughing but I was…..
This is what its about…. Not the pace…. Not the medal….. not even the finish….. the friendships:)
The day was filled with lots of fun, laughs, and a lovely brunch. I am so glad that I showed up. Sometimes that is all you have to do is show up. To know that what ever will be will be and just enjoy the process and the outcome. It is easier said that done. Will also say that I was surprised at the outcome because I finished in under 3 hours which I was not expecting. 2:55.
So today, I ran the NYC Half. You wouldn’t know about that because I’ve been a little absentee with both updating my blog and my training. My goal is to try and do better with both.
As far as training goes, I followed no plan. I didn’t run nearly as much as I should have especially if I had followed a plan which fell through the cracks. In February, I did mostly 3 mile runs and this month, mostly 2. Then I did one 8 mile run and one 10. I would like to say that I was offsetting that non running with cross training, but that would be a lie. So the race was going to be what the race was going to be.
Got to say, for lack of training, not having a plan, and just overall preparation; I really pulled this out of nowhere.
100% I should not have had the race I had today, but I had a great race. So I will take it. I won’t knock it. I won’t question it with the exception of questioning what I might be able to accomplish if I actually trained:) My goal today was to run a smart race and I feel that I did.
For my Hypopara friends, running a smart race meant making sure that I paid attention and added my calcium BEFORE I would need it which I knew from last years marathon training. I also adjusted my doses today. Normally I take .25 Calcitriol in morning with my pills. This morning I took .50 with my normal calcium amount. Then on the course around mile 5.5, I added 1,000 mg of calcium and 25 mcg of Vitamin D. It add them to my water, so it forces me to continue to hydrate. Post race, I took another of my normal dose of Calcitriol and calcium. Overall, this made for a good day. I am lucky that I had last years marathon training to fall back on to know what I would need when. So I don’t necessarily recommend doing this without training for this reason alone.
As far everything else goes, I feel like everything fell into place. The weather was perfect. Picture perfect. Great day to run. Blue skies. Slight breezes. Sunny and in the low 60’s. I could have done with 5 degree lower but that would just be greedy to ask for that. Therefore, I will go with picture perfect.
My goal was to run a smart pace which meant watching the pace and keeping it in check. I walked when I wanted which most definitely was the bridges and maybe a little more than I should have, but again I was watching average pace as well as running pace. I knew from my whopping two long runs, that if I kept the pace in check I would feel good and would be able to get to the finish feeling comfortable. So that’s what I did. Once I got to mile 11, I pushed a little harder which made me need to walk but by mile 12 I knew I was pushing when I got a stitch in my side. Well it’s not a race if you don’t push:) My average pace according to my Garmin was 12:34 which really is the sweet spot for me right now. That being said I did push enough that my best pace was 8:36. So there’s that:) Overall my I was running in zone 4 for most of the race which is just where I should be. I was at Zone 5 for the finish which is also where I should be for the finish.
Today was a great day for running. It makes me want to be better training for the Queens 10K to see what I can do and how far I can push (smartly…. always smartly)
Day 4 and besides the healing blister on my foot I feel normal.
I guess that is what successful training is all about.
It’s funny as a runner when you run a marathon, you know recovery is a real thing. You know you have pushed your body to and past the limit, yet some how it’s annoying when you don’t just spring out of bed the next day. When I ran my first marathon, the next day I literally was wearing heals and seriously felt normal. As the years pass…… As the training is not as stellar…… As my feet begin to have issues…… As my body changes………. those days are long gone! I would have cried if I had to put on heals the next day. I switched back between my OOFAS clogs and flip flops for 3 days.
Yesterday, was the first day that I really felt normal. Getting up and down at circle time (remember I work in preschool) with ease. Bouncing up and down stairs like nothing. I only have residual tightness in my hamstrings and honestly it might be because I need to do some rolling. Really not a bad recovery.
Funny thing is that when non runners see you even in midst of recovery they are amazed. Several times I have heard things like…..
If I ran a marathon, I wouldn’t move for a month.
The fact that you are still moving amazes me.
I don’t even like walking to my car, I can’t believe you ran 26 miles.
It used to be only 1% of people have run a marathon. I recently heard that it is up to 2%. Still a small amount. Something that everyone who has ever crossed a marathon finish can take pride in. There is pride in time but there is also pride in the finish.
So I have decided to deconstruct the marathon backwards starting with the finish line…….
In the dark…. 6 hours and 3 minutes 49 seconds after crossing the start line, i crossed the finish line. Pure joy, exhaustion and triumph rolled into one.
I am thankful to the spectators who were playing Eye of the Tiger from a boom box in Central Park. They literally got me up that hill! you think you are done when you turn into the park, but there is still more for the marathon to take and for you to give.
When running a marathon, the finish line seems so far away. The longer you run, the farther it feels or maybe that is just me. For New York though, you know you are ”getting closer,” when you turn down 5th Avenue. In the past, 5th Avenue is wall to wall people cheering you on. It’s heart pumping. It is exhilarating. It is amazing. Often you will see people with their medals and ponchos in the crowd. It gets you up the Avenue into the park.
I will say starting in the the last coral of the last wave, running 5th Avenue was slightly different. Yes, there were crowds on some sections, but it was not wall to wall people. There were not people lining the entire avenue. To be honest by the time that I hit the Avenue, they were already in process of rolling up the NYRR banners. It did not have that heart pumping, energy inducing motivation to run or walk a little faster. I was at the point in the marathon where I was trying to decide if it was more painful to walk or run. So I kept on walking….
Often when people talk, think, or even run a marathon; we focus of how long did it take. The elites finish in a shorter time than most people run their half marathons. They are amazing. Then you see the times of celebrities who finish the elusive 4 hour marathon. They train for it. They earn it as much as the non celebrities we know. They are also amazing. As our the people in our circle who fly like gazelles hitting paces for mile after mile crossing the finish line in times that make our jaws drop. They are amazing! Then there are people like me, who have to answer No to people who ask, ”Did you run the whole thing?”
WE ARE ALSO AMAZING!
There is something about having the grit and determination to get to the finish line while they are rolling up the carpets so to speak. When the crowds are sparse…… When the sun is setting…….. When it is dark in the park……. When you have to be your own cheerleader……. When you have to dig in deep to find your own grit and determination because you are the reason you are there in the first place and you will be the reason that you get to the finish line. There are no massive crowds to carry you to the finish line, but those that are there know how much that you need them. I was lucky to have a friend cheering on 5th Avenue. I almost missed her but she strained your voice to scream my name loud enough that I turned to see her………. It was perfect
As was knowing that I had 2 friends who were volunteering at water station around mile 19. It is no exaggeration that I was pushing to get to them before their shift ended at 5:00 PM. I made it in time. I found them and gave them sweaty hugs stealing energy from them to keep going. Once the goal to reach them was achieved then I could tell myself that the finish line was not so far away. I like to count down the miles which doesn’t work for everyone but it works for me!
Before the water stop, my goal was to find my Sandy Hook Promise Team at 87th and 1rst Avenue. I missed them the first year that I ran for them and am thankful these last 2 times that I have not missed them. They not only give you energy but they give you a reason to keep running….. to keep pushing…… to know that giving up is not an option. They are an amazing team and while they support me during the marathon, they will always have my support running or not running.
I have never been a spectator at any marathon let alone the NYCM and I really think that would be an amazing thing to do. I think spectators underestimate how much energy they give to those running the coarse. I plan to be a spectator in the future and I know that when I do it will be the back in the pack runner that I will be saving energy to give to because we may need it more than those that are flying to the finish.
And yes…… There is more, but for today this is enough especially as I need to get to work:)
The Accidentally Running Mama 