Archives

10 DAYS

Oct27

It’s funny, last year my sole focus was on completing the 9 plus 1 to be able to run the New York City Marathon this year.   Now I am in the final stretch.   Literally.   10 days till me and 50,000 of my closest friends stand at the starting line of one of the most iconic marathons ever.

You know what?

I don’t feel like I’ve got the level of excitement that I should.   I’m actually quit passive about it.   I haven’t put any real thought into what I’m wearing, logistics, or even my race plan.   Thankfully I’ve got a plan on how to get to the start line, but really that is only because one of my friends put together a car service for us.   If not, I might still be wondering about that.   So regardless of what I’m wearing, how I’m getting home, or even what my pace is at least I know I will be at the starting line when I should be.

I’m really not sure what is wrong with me.   I’ve been asked by a few people if I’m excited about running and I’m like Eh.   WTF.    The thing is I want to be excited.   I know I should be excited, but I’m just not there yet.   It seems so unreal to me.   Maybe that is part of the problem.

I think another issue is that I have started to think about my goals.   I’ve been thinking about those A, B, and C goals.   I’ve been thinking about how my training has been.   I’ve been thinking about MCM last year.   I’ve been wondering if I will ever be able to break that elusive 4:30 mark.   It doesn’t help that when trying to figure it out, my Garmin gives me what I and anyone who knows me knows this is a bat sh*t crazy prediction finish time.

predictorHere I’m wondering if I can run a 4:30 and this is giving my a Boston Qualifier time for my age group.   This does me no good.

As a side not for those interested, here are the time qualifiers for 2018 marathon from the Boston Athletic Association.

Age Group Men Women
18-34 3hrs 05min 00sec 3hrs 35min 00sec
35-39 3hrs 10min 00sec 3hrs 40min 00sec
40-44 3hrs 15min 00sec 3hrs 45min 00sec
45-49 3hrs 25min 00sec 3hrs 55min 00sec
50-54 3hrs 30min 00sec 4hrs 00min 00sec
55-59 3hrs 40min 00sec 4hrs 10min 00sec
60-64 3hrs 55min 00sec 4hrs 25min 00sec
65-69 4hrs 10min 00sec 4hrs 40min 00sec
70-74 4hrs 25min 00sec 4hrs 55min 00sec
75-79 4hrs 40min 00sec 5hrs 10min 00sec
80 and over 4hrs 55min 00sec 5hrs 25min 00se

Anyway, I know that I am not a Boston Qualifier.  I don’t really understand how the Garmin comes up with their predictions because they are all way off.   I’ve got two road marathon’s under my  belt, one trail marathon, and let’s not forget the 50K.   I know that I can go the distance.   What I’m starting to wonder though if mentally I can push myself enough when it gets hard.   And it does get hard.   Very hard.   I have a tendency to be too nice to myself during a race.   It is supposed to be hard.   I am supposed to push myself and now I’m wondering how far I should push.   I don’t want to crash and burn, but I don’t want to hobble away after the race thinking that I could have done more.

No, not 3:50 more, but at least 4:30.

I guess it is getting real now.  I think that is why there is no excitement, because where there should be excitement there is doubt and a fear of failure.

fear

As I like to say….

It’s go time.

Time to put all these doubts, fears, and anything else that’s holding me back to bed.   Time to move forward confident in my training, in my coach, and in my abilities.

Easier said than done, but it’s time to try.

What’s holding you back?

Run and Run Some More.

Oct17

You can’t be a runner long without hearing the expression

run-forest

Sometimes it’s funny to hear.   Sometimes it’s annoying to hear.   Sometimes, I even say it.  It really depends on the way it’s said.

But there is truth to this.   Sometimes we overthink, over analyze, and just forget to enjoy the beauty of the actual run.   This weekend was different.

There was a part of me that wanted to run my races as races and not run them the smart way to run them to put myself in best position for NYCM.   Part of me wanted to attack those hills in Bethlehem.   Part of me wanted to see how if I could have run these races better than my first year of racing.  Part of me wanted to test my legs and feel the burn in my lungs.   But I needed to remember that in 20 days, I will be standing at the start line of the NYCM and then it will be go time.

I will say though that there is something to be said about running a good race, a smart race, and a fun race with friends.   We had a blast running together.   You get to chat away the miles.    You get to take in the course a little more.   You get to stop for photos if you want and you may even meet people that you might not meet otherwise.

 

Bethlehem is a really pretty course.   It was still a very tough course and those hills are wicked.

rw2016_6

Wicked!

It’s funny, I the first year I ran this in 2014 I didn’t know what to expect.  I went into it with the race mentality.   I had great finish times.   In looking at my results now, I’m actually shocked.   In my age group, I was 41 for 5K, 29 for 10K, and 50th for the Half.   Although not racing this year, I still was in the the top 100’s for my age group.   I went into this in 2014 not even knowing if I could finish these races and now it’s a stepping stone for a larger race.   All that being said, I had a much better time this year.   In 2014, I ended up not only running the races by myself, but starting them and ending them alone.   I may not have ran as fast this year, but I had a much better race experience.   I had fun.   I laughed  until I cried at one point.

Life is better with friends!

I am so happy that I ran this again and would love to do it again.  Maybe with some more friends (hint. hint).

Whose in for next year?

I’m Back!

Oct15

Two years ago I tackled the Runner’s World Hat Trick.   It was my first BIG event.   At that time, I trained specifically for this event with a training plan that I purchased from Runner’s World.   It was a good plan that had me ready to run it.   I was driven to run it and run it fast.   I even went to this race by myself and I did well.    I did so well that I brazenly thought, “Why not run a marathon now.”   Of course, I did have a friend who planted the seed and pushed me along:)

Fast forward two years later and I’m back.   Things are different this time around.  This is not a goal race.   This race is different as I’m not even viewing it as a race.   I’m viewing it as training for New York City Marathon.   I’m also not the same runner that I was two years ago.   I’m stronger and used to these long runs now.    That being said,  it is still difficult when you cross that starting line not to want to give it all you’ve got.

But….

This isn’t my Rodeo.

This isn’t my goal now.

Eye on the Prize.

NYCM is just around the corner and this isn’t the time to run crazy.

rw2016

Yes, I could have attacked the course faster today, but it would not have been a wise or smart move.   Luckily for me, I wasn’t alone today.   I was running with some other Mom’s Run this town who actually were doing four races in three days for 26.2 miles.   I’m only doing three races in two days.    And if more lucky, a few of us wanted to run these miles at an 11 minute pace and we kept each other in check.    Alone, I probably would have not run a smart race.   Together not only did I do what I needed to do, but we got to chat the miles away.

rw2016_2

Win.  Win.

It is amazing to me how when I first started running an 11 minute pace was a goal.   Now it’s literally an easy running day.   Although I was saying today that this course is not really a course that I would want to try to PR as it is such a hilly course.   I also realize that I may be as fast as I’m ever get at this point.    I’ve run my sub 2 half.    I think that be the best it’s going to get for me.   So why not enjoy the ride (or run).

Tomorrow is another day and another race.

We will see what the day brings.   Then it’s taper town for New York which will be my rodeo.

rw2016_3

 Tomorrow brings another 5 AM wake up call.   Another race and another outfit:)

 

 

 

Flexibility is the Key

Sep8

Yesterday I had an 8 mile run scheduled.

As anyone with school aged kids will tell you, the start of the school season is ruff.   First there is the adjusting to the schedule to knowing who needs to be where when and everything in between.   On top of all of that craziness, I in my infinite wisdom a few years ago took on the responsibility of running my son’s Cub Scout Pack in addition to being his Den Leader.   So this brings on a whole host of responsibilities and just like the beginning of the school year, the beginning of the Scouting year is also a bear.

Now normally when the kids are all dropped off at school, I like to start my run by 9:00.   Yesterday though I figured that I would first take care of some Cub Scout stuff that needed to be done.   I figured that I would be done by 11:00 at the latest.   One thing leads to another and another.   Before I know it, it is almost noon.

CRAP!

Now I’m hungry.

So knowing I’ve got a run, I quick eat a bowl of cereal.   Finally get out for my run a little after 12:45.   Do some quick calculations and realize that there is just NO WAY that I am getting in a whole 8 miles due to needing to start the school pick-up cycle.

CRAP!

Then I start to map out in my mind how far and where to run.   I figure that I can probably squeeze in 5 miles or close to it.

CRAP!

Then in the midst of my panic, I wonder what the Hell my problem is and what is wrong with me.   Running is supposed to be my stress relief.   It felt good to get out the door after sitting all morning.   Why am I causing myself more anxiety instead of letting the run take it away?

antistress-quotes-1-0-bs-512x250

Then I had an epiphany that I’ve had before.    Running is NOT my job.  I RUN BECAUSE I LIKE TO RUN!    Yes, I know that I need to stick to my schedule and train if I want to be able to finish all these races that I’ve signed up for.    Yes, I know that training is important, but so is flexibility.    My “job” is to do the things that I do at home not only because I “have to” but because I want to.   No one assigned me these jobs.   I decided that I wanted kids.   I decided that I wanted 3 of them.   I decided that I wanted to do the things that I do for our house, my kids, and our family.   They are my priority.

That is not to say that I should not take time for myself and the things that I want to do.  My run at the beach is a prime example of that rationale.   That is not to say that everything that is important to me comes second.   It just means that I need to be more flexible and cut myself a break.   Especially when there is a lot going on.   The trick is to know what days, I really need flexibility and what days I need a kick in the pants.

Today is not That Day

Sep6

Today is the first day of school for my boys.  My youngest started his last year in the elementary school.    As I stood at the morning drop off line dry eyed and wondering why the teacher’s were not taking the kids in when it was past time, I realized that I might have been in the minority with my dry eyes.   There was no nostalgia that he is the last of my boys who will be leaving this wonderful elementary school.  Nope.  Nada.   Maybe it will come.   Just not today.  Maybe it’s also because while my youngest is starting his last year of elementary school, my oldest is starting the process of looking at colleges.

I am not obtuse to the fact that one day I will miss these days.   That I will miss the chaos.   The running to and from.    The never having a moment to myself and that there is something that always needs to be done.   It is not that I don’t love my children.   Like any parent, I couldn’t imagine my life without them.   It’s not that I won’t miss  spending time with them and the adventures we share as a family.  All that being said, I’m in the weeds right now.

So today as I stood in the drop off line with my running clothes on, hair pulled back, and not a stitch of makeup, I realized that I might have been the odd man out.   That’s ok:)

I also know that there were a million and one things that I should do at home while the kids were at school today.   I know that “my job” is to take care of the household, but today Mommy need  a day off.    It has been a long summer and I haven’t had a day off in over 2 months.   No weekends off.   Nothing.   So today was my day.   I needed a day or at least a morning off.  By myself.  Period!

beach2

I totally justified a trip to do my 5 miles at the beach today since my Triathlon is there this Sunday.   Yes, I’m familiar with the area but I thought I would get a lay of the land.  Again.  It wasn’t even particularly a great beach day, but there is something to be said for sitting even briefly listening to the waves.   There is something to be said about an ocean breeze on your run.   There is something to be said about taking time for yourself.   It is not selfish.  It is self preservation.   Period.  End of Story.

So while I was only gone for a few hours, it was enough to charge my batteries.   To rejuvenate my spirit and to get in my run.

beach3

Do you ever sneak away for a run?

 

 

 

Come Back to Me……

Sep1

After many months, I was FINALLY able to get a much need run in with a friend tonight.    The beauty of your running friends is they will tell you what you want to hear, sometimes things you don’t want to hear, and just listen while you ramble on too.   It’s a special thing:)

We were talking about my training and her training as she is also doing New York.    We both have similar goals except that I’m not really sure of my goals right now.   Things are kind of up in the air, but she made me laugh telling me not to be a “teenager and just do it.”    She further pointed out that my training has been getting back on track and that if I give it just a little more time so will my head.    Part of that has to do with once the kids get back in school and I can get back to my normal schedule.

Here’s hoping.

I said to her that it has really been a difficult summer and it is even ending on a not so fun note.   All of these things are have not totally sucked the life out of my training because I am finally able to get my workouts in.   Maybe not all of them, but I’m getting better.   I’m getting back doing what I need to do, it is just sucking my get up and go.

my-get-up-and-go-dont-leave-me

I’ve said before that part of my problem is that last year when training for Marine Corps Marathon, I had committed goals.  They were concrete.    I don’t have that this time.    I am missing the drive that I had.   I am trying to find it.   I really am, but part of me keeps questioning in the end what does it matter.    I know it would be a source of pride to me to run a marathon in 4:30 or under, but other than that what will the point be?   I have PR’d in various events.    In looking at Athlinks today, I realized that there were a few events that I finished decently and one I even came in first in my age group.   Of course, there were only 4 women in that group but still.   I’m wondering……  What does it matter?

I not only love  to run, but being a runner is part of who I am now.    If I were to never run another race again (that’s not happening – don’t panic), I would still need running in my life.   I love running, but I’m growing weary of training.   Not physically, but mentally.

I know all this mumbo jumbo in my head is due to all that has happened this summer.    You can’t loose a loved one and not think about what is important in your life.  I wish that was all, but like the commercials says “but there’s more!”

I am committed to running the New York City Marathon.   I am committed to training for the New York City Marathon.     I am committed to finishing the New York City Marathon.   I just wish I knew how I wanted to finish it and what I want out of race day.

It feels good to say that.   It feels good to know that.

That is the one thing that has fallen into place today while other things were falling out of place.   I do know that I am committed to New York which will mean that I will be committed to training for it.   Like a child whose old toys is about to be thrown away, I did not realize how important this has become to me until the prospect of having to bow out became a possibility.

If there sounds like there is more to this story, there is but I’m not at a point to share it all.     In the scheme of things it’s not anything tragic or bad, it is just something that I have to deal with.   Like laundry, some things just need to be done.    When the time is right, I will let you know.

 

Damned if You Do and Damned if You don’t

Aug31

Believe it or not I’ve not only been getting my training in, but I’ve also been feeling pretty good while doing it too.   Who knew?   All it took was sticking to it:):)

One of the things that I’ve had to do to get my runs in is to run at night.   As I’ve said before I’m all about safety when I’m out running.    My goal is always simple….. To come home safely from every run.    This takes a little more when running in the dark than the basics.

Here is the thing though.  When dressed appropriately, I’ve had friends laughingly joke that they should hit me just because of how I look.    They are not alone at laughing at me.   My dear husband hangs his head in shame and laughs when he sees me getting ready for a night run.  When out for a run last night a little girl walking with her Daddy asked, “What is that?”

I do hope that her Daddy said just someone trying to be safe while running.

To be honest, I’m not sure what is so funny about what I’m wearing.   My night running go to is the Tracer360 and a headlamp.   My running pants usually have built in reflector strips and I usually wear bright colored compression socks.

Night Running

 I actually think this looks very appropriate for night running.

Here is the thing though.    If you have ever looked at any of my tutu running race photos you will clearly see that I will wear what I want when it comes to my running.  I am a bit of a round peg that can not be put into a square hole.  There might have been a time that i would have tried to fit into that square hole but not anymore.   I will wear what I want and it’s that simple.

Here’s the other thing if a runner is out running in the dark and not dressed appropriately and something happens, the first thing people will say is that they should have been more visible.   Tonight I actually saw two such runners.   One I didn’t even notice till we passed each other.   Not smart and not safe.   I hope seeing me made them think, “I should wear something/anything that will make me more viable.”

It’s funny as adults it seems like many times people don’t make the smart choice for a whole host of reasons.   Take bike helmets for example.   Outside of serious riders, how many adults do you see wearing their helmets?    Not many.   But how many of these same people would never think to not make their child  wear one.   Adults I know that don’t wear one because it will mess their hair, make them look like a dork, ect, ect.    I think there is a similar thing going on when it comes to night running.

Here is my question though to all those night runners out there wearing dark clothes, no reflective gear, no blinkies, ect, ect….

“WHAT DOES IT MATTER IF YOU LOOK LIKE A DORK AS LONG AS YOU ARE BEING SMART AND SAFE?”

I recently went for my annual check up.    My doctor was asking the “Do you” questions.    She said something that I found amusing when talking about the flu shot.   She said, “Don’t die of something stupid.”    I think this applies here.

I’ll admit that it pisses me off somewhat too as I find that those who are out there not running safely give the rest of us a bad rap.   It also not only puts them in danger, but also an unsuspecting driver.    I have a new teen driver and I think about these things more than I care to admit.

I think the bottom line really is that people don’t know the rules of the road when running.   There is no test to hit the streets nor should there be one.    But if you are going to go out there running at ANY time of day or night, you should learn them.

Here are in my opinion the most important ones

  1. Run against traffic
  2. No headphones on roads/trails (I listen to music through phone)
  3. Run on the shoulder of the road and avoid high traffic roads when possible
  4. Be polite and respectful
  5. Wear reflective clothing/gear at night
  6. Be alert and prepared to get out of the way
  7. Run with ID
  8. Let people know where you are running and how long you will be gone

 

Safety first.

Because in a game of chicken with an oncoming car, the runner ALWAYS looses and I looses big.

It’s really that simple.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It Is What It Is……

Aug27

My Coach recently wrote,

“Running is Simple.   Life is hard.”

I really think that she hit the nail on the head.   This quote resonated with me.     The act of running is simple and at it’s core is beautiful, freeing, and wonderful.     Life on the other hand is full of complications, busy, and not always your own.    Don’t get me wrong, it is also beautiful and wonderful and I wouldn’t change mine for anything.

Now to some it may seem that I am making excuses.   Some day’s maybe, but overall no.   The truth is running is supposed to be my stress reliever.   It is supposed to be my “Calgon take me away” moment.   (If your too young to understand that analogy, more power to you:).

Now don’t get me wrong.   I know many women who never miss a day of training.    Who come rain or shine get their workouts in no matter what is going on in their lives.   Maybe the truth is that I’m not that dedicated or good at balancing and timing.    Now I don’t mean that I’m not dedicated to my running, but I’m at a point where my training is not taking center stage.

Case in point…….

Yesterday, I had a cut-down on my schedule.   Had planned to wake up around 8:00 to go run it on the treadmill at the gym.    Hubby ends up taking the day off and I decide to have my coffee with him instead thinking that I will go in the evening.    The day progresses and I’m working on my youngest son’s cake for his birthday party.   Then hubby decides he’s going to do an evening fishing with his buddy.   Still think that I’ll be able to get my run in, but by the end of the day it gets away from me.   Now, I’m sure if I were super dedicated that I would have found the time to squeeze it in and maybe part of me wanted to avoid the dreaded cut-down.    That being said, a big part of me just wanted to be home with my family.

Now today, I have 14 miles on the books.    Yes, I could have gotten up at 6:00 to run like many of my dedicated friends, but I didn’t.    I waited up for hubby to get home as dozing on the couch is not quality sleep and didn’t make it to bed till almost 1:00.    Then I have my son’s birthday party today at 2:30 and this morning will require some last minute running around for it.    Especially since I realized that I forgot to buy plates!   I want to enjoy the morning with family.

I will run tonight. I will light up the night.   I’m no fool, I know that I need to get my training in to do the things I want to do.   It would be like expecting my children to do good in school without putting in the work.

I really am trying to be better with my training, but it’s hard.   I’m not complaining even if it sounds like it.   I’m just tired.   I’m sure that once we get into the fall schedule it will be better.    I also know that I’m the one who asked to do all this.   I’m the one who signed up for all the races.    I’m the one who hired a coach who puts together kick ass 6 day a week training schedule.   I’m also the one who has to do the work.

And I will.

as one of my favorite expressions says….

It is

What it is

 

 

No More

Aug19

tEven I am getting tired of my excuses.

Tonight I went to my local YMCA to run my 6 mile cut-down.   It was a fast one and I didn’t want to do it outside.   To be honest, I didn’t want to do it at all.    Shortly after dinner though, I changed into my running clothes before I could  come up with an excuse not to go.

Get there and start running.

First warm up mile isn’t too bad.   Not great, but ok.   I realize that I’m not used to running fast.   To be honest, I’m not sure that I am used to running anymore.   I do know that I’m certainly not used to running on a full stomach and I’m not used to running at the end of the day as opposed to the morning.   These things do make a difference.

Mile 2 hits.

BAM!

It’s way too fast.   Not sure of which one of my already listed excuses it was, but I knew that I would not be able to hit these faster paces tonight.   Then that little voice in the back of my head starts thinking, “Well since you aren’t going to hit your paces, you might as well not even worry about running the full 6 miles either.”

I know it doesn’t make sense, but that little voice always seems so reasonable.   So smart.  So easy to listen to.   It’s like when your on a diet and you slip up and have a cookie.   Then the voice tells you since you already ruined your diet with one cookie, you might has well eat a dozen of them.

Reasonable.

Not in the least, but always so tempting to listen to that voice.   Most of us fall for this trap all the time.    I missed one run this week, I might as well miss two.  ect, ect.

towel

So I start to have this internal dialogue with myself that I am tired of all the excuses.    Now I am not saying that some of them are not valid excuses, but still……   I keep telling myself to cut the crap and just do it.   It’s not an excuse not hitting my paces tonight.    That happens.   We all have our off days.    But it would have been an excuse to give up on the run as a whole.   So I adjust the paces.   I still do a cut-down, but one that I think I can actually do tonight.   Then I just go mile by mile.

I’ll be honest, at mile 4 I was thinking of calling it a day.   I was thinking of starting my cool down and just doing 5 miles.    Then one of my running friends husbands says hello and asks how far I’m running.   Damn you!    But it might have been just enough motivation I needed to keep going.

I finished 6 miles.

You know what?   I’m glad I did.

No guilt.

We as mother runner’s already have enough guilt in our lives that our workout routines should not add to it.    I know that if I didn’t at least complete the full 6 miles tonight that I would have felt like I gave up.  There are times I shouldn’t feel guilty about missing a run, but today would not have been one of those days.    Cutting this run short though would have just been me giving into the little voice in my head.

I’m so glad that I won this round.  I think the trick is to turn off that voice enough times that finally it shuts up.

Today I won.

I’ll tell you another little secret.    After I decided to do the whole thing, it felt good and I even got into the groove of the run.

 

 So the moral of the story is….

Just do it:)

Finding Balance

Jun29

Life is about balance.

The give and the take.

The Ying and the Yang.

Hot and the Cold

Without balance our lives would be more chaotic than they already are now.   Balancing time for ourselves, our friends, our family, and our training.   Ignore one at the expense of the other and things suffer.

Balance.

The same is true when it comes to our training.   As I said the other day in my post How Slow Can You Go, I have embraced the going slower approach to my training.   But there has to be a balance to this approach for it to work.

Balance is the key.

Run too fast too often and you will end up injured or burnt out.

Never running fast and you will never improve.

Balance.

So even though most days I am not running faster than a 10:40 pace, there are days that I’m out there pushing it. Today was such a day.  These are the days that you have to bring your A game to.    These are the days that make up for all the “slower” days.

index

Yes, I take notes as when I’m pushing it sometimes my brain needs a little help.   That being said, I am pretty happy with the way this cut down turned out.   I haven’t done one in a while and this one was not meant to be an easy run.   I guess that’s what happens when you have a good race.  Your coach adjusts your cut down paces accordingly even if it made you cry a little when you saw it.  That being said, it also wasn’t meant to be I need to stop right now run either.    At the end, I was supposed to feel like I could run another mile at the pace I was running.   I will say that although, I do think I could have kept going at mile 5 that I was more than happy to slow down.

Moral of the story is as much as you need to run slow to speed up, you also need days like this too.

The Ying and the Yang.

The give and the take.

The slow running days and the run like hell days.

It’s all about balance.