I had been thinking about challenges/goals for the coming year. I wasn’t sure what it would be.
The goal came to me.
I had forgotten that I put in for the NYC Half lottery. I was reminded, when I got the email.
I wasn’t sure how happy I was because logistically NYC events are a bit of a pain. Worth it, but still a pain. The exciting part is that 2 of my running friends also got in. So misery loves company.
I’ve been thinking about goals for event now too. I’m thinking if I could finish the Bethlehem Running Festival in 2:41:08 after running 3 other races that weekend, I would train for a possible 2:30 half. We shall see. We shall see.
Then after wrapping my head around that, two of my suns have roped me into a 6K Spartan race. Fortunately that won’t be till summer. So one goal at a time.
Last year I trained as hard as I could for the Bethlehem Running Festival. I went in feeling like I could do it and I did. This year I followed the same training plan and went in feeling like I could do it and I did.
This year though, I went in with goals. I picked a goal race. Mine was the 10K. I also planned to start the half with the 2;45 pacer and see what happened. As it was, I ended up running the half with my son. By about mile 9 we came across the 2;45 pacer and we went back and forth with who was in front.
The biggest difference this year though was being on Yorvipath. It allowed me to follow my training plan more closely. Although I will say towards the end, I was less perfect than I should have been. Last year, I was worried about adding calcium supplements and making sure not to crash and burn with calcium crash. On Yorvipath, those fears are less and less, but I do still keep calcium with me.
So how do things compare
While on face it doesn’t look like a huge on the smaller races, there is a huge improvement on the half.
Another big difference is the almost 25 pounds I have lost, but that is for another post.
I do know that I would not have had this improvement if not for the Yorvipath. No, it doesn’t make me run faster, but it does make my body work the way it is supposed to work. I have more energy. I don’t have the muscle cramping and I have not had a calcium crash or anything close to it since I started. Now, I am still figuring it out. I’ve recently upped my dosage and hope to go for blood work this week to see how levels are looking.
So now that this goal is done, it is time to look forward and figure out my next goal.
There will be a day I can not run…… Today is not that day!
When I started training for the Brooklyn Half, I thought realistically that a 2:45 was not out of range with enough training. My last two prior half marathons have been just under 3 hours. So it was not unreasonable to think with push and training, it could happen. It was a reasonable A goal.
As you know, training had been going well right up until I hit a few speed bumps with my calcium. I missed some runs due to not feeling up to it and then there was the whole fiasco of the calcium crash.
In speaking to my doctor, she was advising on the side of caution. She thought it would be prudent not to run. In talking though, she said if I didn’t push and did a lot of walking that would be for the best.
That was the plan…..
So how did it go……. Here’s the recap
I prepared the night before. Carefully not only laying out my clothes, but also getting all calcium/meds ready to go. Taking extra just in case. I decided to go back to adding powdered calcium to my water. Thinking that I would take plain water at water stops which worked well. On top of that, I took a dose of my calcitriol/calcium at 4:00 am before leaving for city. I also upped my normal calcitirol dose at this time.
The morning of the race started off with alarm not going off leaving me 20 minutes to get ready which is why it is good to have everything ready to go. Nothing was forgotten.
Get into the city to find that the parking that NYRR said was available was not in deed available. That provided some added stress as we were parking at the finish line near Coney Island and then needed to take train to Prospect Park for the Start. We were lucky to find a small lot that actually was very reasonable at $20. Dawn was right when she said, “they could have charged double and we would gladly have paid.”
Then off to the trains to go to Prospect start. Get to the Corral for our 8:20 start time. Before the race started, I took my normal dose of calcium/calcitriol. Then go to start my watch and realize that for some reason my Garmin did NOT charge!!!!!!!
Now I wasn’t running for time. I was planning to listen to my doctor, but I’m still a runner and like my tracking. I also thought it would be good to keep me in check as I do tend to start off too fast in big races. I also run faster than I can maintain or should be, but it was what it was.
I was running all on feel.
It was strange not to have a watch to watch. Although out of habit, I looked at the blank screen several times during the race. I took off at what I felt was a comfortable pace. I was feeling good. Then at the 5k water stop, I saw the 2:45 pace group and realized thats not where I should be.
I had to remind myself that my goal this race what not so much a time, but to keep my levels in the zone. I also realized that the conditions were very similar to the day I had the big crash. It was HOT. It was HUMID. The heat is not my friend. I was sweating.
With exercise everyone burns through calcium, but their bodies usually replenish by taking from bones. No worries though because this is a normal process and is actually good for bone health. For those of us with Hypoparathyroidism, this does not happen. There is no calcium regulation. So as our body burns up the calcium through sweat and heavy exercise, it must be manual added with our supplements and meds. Downside is that we just have to make educated guesses when to add.
Yesterday I hit it right – with the added meds and I do think the added calcium in the water. My doctor said it takes about 20 minutes for the meds to hit which is why it is important to add before feeling low. So thats what I did.
So I ran by feel. I walked a lot. I reminded myself that I did a lot of walking in training. When I walked, I power walked. When I ran, I ran by feel.
As you can see I did start off too fast. I adjusted. There were times that I thought I could/should run and push myself. I reminded myself that I needed to finish a smart race. A race that was more about being smart. I had no idea what time I was going to finish, but honestly this was my B goal.
It was a good day. A day to prove that I can do hard things.
After seeing my Hypopara Endocrinologist, we talked about how I’ve been been more syptomatic with low calcium symptoms. Yes, there was the crash after my last 10 mile run, but there I’ve also been having “normal” low calcium symptoms on a regular basis. Things like muscle cramps, tingles, and muscle spasms.
These are just things you get used to.
Here’s the thing….. You forget that these are not normal. They are just your normal.
In talking with my doctor, we don’t see any reason for the changes. My only thought is that I may have been under stress but even then.
I’ve run more marathon’s with Hypopara than with out at this point. Even with all my marathon training and Hat Trick training, my calcium has not been this bad. The only thought I’ve had is that I did used to run with powdered calcium in my water. Although I haven’t done that in years.
I’m going to try again. While it really is never a good thing to try something new on race day, I will be adding powdered calcium to my water. I will still have my regular doses with me, but I’ve got to figure out dosing.
Again, there is no way to measure calcium levels in real time. My doctor did say that it is better to go too hight than too low.
We also talked about my last crash and while she said it was smart to go home to where my meds were to make sure to take care because if it continued to go lower instead of regulating that it could cause a cardiac event…. And that based on my account and documented photos, it was a “severe crash.”
Now being she is the medical profession, she did caution about running Brooklyn. That being said, she also said as long as I did it smartly it should be ok since I’ve completed two other 10 miles runs in training. I also said, that I would be smart and if I end up having to walk a bunch, I will.
I will get to the start.
I will get to the finish.
I will be smart.
I will probably be very slow.
I do not anticipate that I will meet any A goal that I once floated at the start of my training.
The upside…… I am still moving.
Plus I have the hope of now getting on the therapy replacement plan and then it will be game on.
Maybe the secret isn’t being the best of the best.
Maybe the secret isn’t running harder or faster.
Maybe the secret isn’t anything other than…..
Just to keep plugging along. To keep moving. To not give up. To just keep moving.
Down to 6 weeks till Brooklyn.
It’s not exciting or fancy, but I am plugging along.
That is what I’m doing.
It’s not bold or exciting, It’s just getting runs, biking and cross training.
It’s just not giving up.
Just plugging along. Doing my thing. I’ve been “following” a training plan, but I’ve been following my way. Maybe doing a indoor bike run instead of mid week run. Changing up runs, but getting them done.
Sunday, I went for my long run. Normally a long run would be done at a much slower pace, but I had a plan. I would walk the first mile. Then I would do 5 miles at what I might think of doing at the half and then slow for last mile. For the most part, I stuck to the plan.
Mission accomplished.
Here is the thing though, I needed to remind myself to control my pace…. And I did. I ran the paces that I wanted. The only change I made was was the last mile. Instead of walking it, I ran like it was the finish and then walked the last quarter mile.
The best part of this run is that I felt like I could keep going. So there is that.
I did not run it this year, but happily tracked several friends who did. It’s nice to be on the support team only tracking. Although I must say for a half, the NYC half is a great race. This year they had excitement of running over the Brooklyn Bridge. To to say that made me a little jealous.
That being said, even if I was scheduled to run it I would have been sidelined as I ended up having a stomach bug. You can run through a lot, but a stomach bug isn’t one…. At least not for me. I didn’t even make it out for my 6 mile run as I was passed out on the couch all day.
After sleeping all day, then going to be for a solid 10 hours, I woke up feeling better. I took the day off of work. My appetite wasn’t total back but did have energy even though I had some symptoms of low calcium this morning. It was a good day to catch up on cleaning out and up in a way you can only do when on one is home to get in your way… LOL
Anywho…. Back to the running……
I’ve been thinking and looking at my last few half marathon times. They have all been in right around 3 hours.
So the question is can I do better? Do I want to push to do better? And if so, I need to keep going with my training.
Some might say that I have been doing this for a long time without reaching some of my goals.
Maybe that’s true.
Maybe it’s not.
My goals have changed along the way. My thoughts of what is necessary has changed. What and where I want to be has changed. I know my body has changed and what it can do too. Always moving forward though. Maybe no longer reaching for that golden ring, but happy with the consolation prize. Bobbing and weaving, even when the finish line keeps moving.
So maybe it’s not about reaching the goal, but continuing to reach for it without giving up.
Tomorrow starts my 16 week training plan for the Brooklyn Half. As of now I do not have a goal for the race other than to run it well. To me that will mean to go into this event trained by following my training plan. To continue with the cross training to hopefully also go into this race injury free.
At the 8 week mark, I will access where I am with my training and adjust training for the goal.
So here we go……
Last time I ran Brooklyn in 2015, I ran it in 2:14:47. That’s not happening or anything even close to that. That being said, my last half was 2:59:18. So, honestly, I am starting my training with 3 hours in mind.
Never giving up…. Never baking down…. Still moving….
The beauty of living close to NYC is being able to do NYRR races. The downside of living close to NYC is how early you must get up to go in for a NYC race. Logistics are not horrible, but it still adds time to your day. To be honest, I always plan more about getting in than getting out. It really is because I know that I can get on a train and get home even if I’m not that familiar with the trains.
So up at 4 AM and meet up for the van that was taking several of us in at 5. Seems too early which it is especially when you are starting in last wave. That being said, some of the women in the van are speedy and do need to be there early. Plus the roads around the race will close. So up and out early.
When I signed up for this race, I did think that one of my running friends would with me. I knew early on in my training though that would not be the case. I’m used to be a solitary runner, so it was not a deal braker fro me. I was running this race for me anyway:)
I prepped all my things the night before and thought that I was all good to go. Right up until I got there and realized that I forgot my headphones. The way I looked at it thought if you were going to gorget something on race day, this really is the best thing to forget. Especially at a NYC race. There is always so much to see.
The weather was perfect for race day. Chilly in the morning, but running temps were perfect. I always run hot anyway. So I planned to wear shorts with long compression socks, a short sleeve shirt and running sleeves. It all worked out. Throwaway jacke and blanket till the start. Checked bag for the finish. All Good.
As I said in previous post, I did not train for pace, but did have my plan for race day. I knew not to get caught up in the excitement in the beginning and just make sure to stay true to my training. I wanted to stay in the high 12/low 13 pace. I ran most, but walked when I felt I needed to or on a hill. Most of all is I enjoyed the day. I took in the crowds. I enjoyed the sites. I took pleasure in being able to do what I was doing.
Around mile 9 on one of the bridges a woman ran by me. She thanked me for running for Sandy Hook Promise. She then said she used to live in Newton and again appreciated me running for them. It was a boost that I needed. I got several of these through out the day. From seeing another Sandy Hook Promise runner as I was getting ready to start the race to something as simple as seeing a sign with an S (Sandy Hook Promise) on it when I was getting tired. Then on another occasion seeing an N (Newton) . Yes, you see signs when you are looking. I was looking.
At mile 10, my Sandy Hook Promise cheer zone was there and they always bring a smile to my face. At mile 12 my friend whose daughter was running was there with her daughter who finished much earlier than me (started wave 2 and ran sub 2). So I kept running.
As I was walking another runner came up to me and asked if she could finish the race with me. She hit the wall. So we walked, we ran, we chatted and most of all we got each other to the finish line. It was a picture perfect ending to a great day!
Although with a big event it’s never really over as it takes miles of walking to get out of park and home. All worth it..
When I worked with a running coach a few years ago, she always had me come up with 3 goals prior to an event.
A Goal – A goal within reach, but one that you need to work for
B Goal – A doable goal
C Goal – What is the minimum that you will be happy with.
So for the NYC Half, I kept these goals to myself. I knew going into my training that I really would like to run the half in under 3 hours. While training, I did not train for this goal so much as realize that this was within reach if I pushed just enough. I mostly trained by feel and heart rate. I made sure to do my training runs at a push and my long runs slower than I felt I could push. I always wanted to finish a training run like I could do more if needed. I usually did too.
One thing that I was very conscious of during my training is that I did not want to add extra calcium. What I tried to do was to time my daily calcium in a way to incorporate into my runs.
It has taken me some time since my surgery to get to this point, but I finally finally finally came to the mindset of………. I want to run, but I need to run smart. All the time. I can not push the pace to the point where I need to add more calcium. While it temporarily will feel right, long term it is not for me.
Since my surgery, I have been fighting high urine calcium levels. At it’s highest it was 578. (For those not Hypopara and unfamiliar anything over 250 is high. For Hypopara, your doctors try to keep it in around 300)……. Now it was at the highest, when I was taking .5 calcitriol twice a day with calcium through out the day. I also took extra calcium to run runs the way that pushed my body. My levels have come down, but even with being careful they are steadily going back up. I am currently at levels over 350.
So what does this mean…… basically these higher levels are hard on my kidney’s. I am lucky that currently I have had no kidney issues; BUT I say this as my kidney functions have moderate loss of function. Not enough that I would notice, but until a PTH (Parathyroid Hormone that regulates calcium & phosphate in body) I will need to continue to take medication to regulate. These help me function like a normal person but also are hard on the kidneys. I am not willing to push my kidneys to the limit to run a pace that matters to no one.
Seriously, who cares about my pace?
For a while after my surgery, I did. I wanted to maintain where I was prior to surgery. I wanted to pretend that the surgery and Hypopara didn’t change me, but the truth of the matter it did. It was also about pride. I wanted to run the paces that I could. No lie, I did enjoy pushing myself. Running a Sub 2 half (prior to surgery). Running 9 minute paces. Being a front of the middle runner.
Guess what?
I am no longer a mid pack runner. I am a back of the pack runner. I am starting in the last wave and in some cases the last corral.
Here is what I’ve come to realize though……
I am starting. I am running…… I am still me. Sometimes you have to swallow your pride. Put it aside and know that it only matters to you. When I was able to put pride aside, I was able to train where I am and not where I wanted to be. I was able to train smart. To listen to my body. To run smarter and not harder. By doing that, I was able to actually do what I wanted to do.
I put pride aside. I made a realistic goal. If I hadn’t made it, I would have been ok. But the fact that I made it shows that I am doing what I need to do. Most of all, I did it by working smarter and not harder.
So what does this mean….
This means more running in my future. I even signed up for a fall race. One that I did previously. The Hat Trick. A 5k & 10K on a Saturday followed by a half on Sunday.
Crazy?
Yes.
Exciting?
You bet…. Can’t wait.
Stay tuned because believe it or not, there is more to talk about regarding the NYC Half. Although this is enough for today.
Fear of failure can push us to hard or not hard enough.
It can make us stand still or push us forward.
The question though is who defines your failures?
Is trying and not succeeding failure or is not trying at all the failure?
It can also make you spread yourself too thin as I mentioned the other day.
But what if fear of failure has more to do more with fear of not. Being perfect.
You know the whole getting in shape befor eyou start going to the gym.
Worrying that you won’t hit a specific pace. That you aren’t what you think you should be.
Fear of failure can keep you from updating your blog because what if you put it out there and you swing and miss.
So yesterday I ran the NYC United Half Marathon. I went inot it fairly trained. I followed my training plan. I didn’t follow it by pace, but by heart rate, feel and distance. I put the miles in. I did what I needed to do to feel like I could “comfortable” run the distance.
I had a thought of what I wanted to run. My A goal was it be under 3 hours. Based on my paces from training, I felt that if I ran a smart race that it was an achievable goal. My B goal was 3:30. If the wheels fell off, just finishing.
I did it…….
I brought my A game.
There is more to this story which I will tell tomorrow.
For now though, I am happy to know that I didn’t let fear stop me from doing what I set out to do. I did it smartly. I did it with hard work. Most of all, I did it with a smile.
The Accidentally Running Mama 