Tag Archive | Marathon

Let The Games Begin

Next week at this time I will hopefully be putting the final touches on what I will need for the NYC Marathon. Hopefully, I will even be getting ready to sit down to a nice carb loading dinner too.

I’ve finally decided to take my head out of the sand and actually it has been very good. All this talk about not being excited and admitting the truth of how I’m feeling has been freeing. Dare I say it, it is even getting my a little excited.

I’m an avoider by nature. I like to bury my head in the sand and not deal with things. It’s often my way of dealing with things. Dealing with things is messy, complicated, and means you actually have to face things. So by pretending the marathon wasn’t happening, I could just go about my business.

BUT

When I pulled back the curtain, I got wise words of advise and incite from friends. One friend really knows me well and she may have put the final nail in the coffin why I was feeling the way I was feeling. It was the real thing that I was avoiding which was NOT the marathon….

My surgery. See the way, I spoke about my upcoming surgery (getting my thyroid removed) was it’s after the marathon. So if the marathon happens, by default that means then so is my surgery. Yes all the other reasons for my non marathon excitement are true, but this was true. When she asked me about it, it really was like a door was opened. I heard and knew the truth of her words. I will have to deal with this, BUT FIRST THE MARATHON.

Then another thing happened, in talking with my coach and friends we started talking about my training and goals. My one running mama pointed out that the if I want to see the sites of NY, we can take a short road trip to see this and that I can run this race. I realized something. I think I actually want to run this thing. I mean not all out I’m going to die run this thing, but I want to run this and I want to run this well.

I’ve got a lot coming up, but it’s time to be a grown up and face them. I realize that I want this (the marathon not surgery silly). I want it bad. I want to hobble from the finish line of the NYCM knowing that I ran a smart race. That I ran it to the best of my ability. That my training was not just to get to the start line, but get my ass to the finish line too.

I’ve got this now.

And thank you to all my real life in person friends who have given me encouragement, kick in the behind, and your wonderful incites. You are amazing and I’m so lucky to have all of you.

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Come Back to Me……

Sep1

After many months, I was FINALLY able to get a much need run in with a friend tonight. The beauty of your running friends is they will tell you what you want to hear, sometimes things you don’t want to hear, and just listen while you ramble on too. It’s a special thing:)

We were talking about my training and her training as she is also doing New York. We both have similar goals except that I’m not really sure of my goals right now. Things are kind of up in the air, but she made me laugh telling me not to be a “teenager and just do it.” She further pointed out that my training has been getting back on track and that if I give it just a little more time so will my head. Part of that has to do with once the kids get back in school and I can get back to my normal schedule.

Here’s hoping.

I said to her that it has really been a difficult summer and it is even ending on a not so fun note. All of these things are have not totally sucked the life out of my training because I am finally able to get my workouts in. Maybe not all of them, but I’m getting better. I’m getting back doing what I need to do, it is just sucking my get up and go.

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I’ve said before that part of my problem is that last year when training for Marine Corps Marathon, I had committed goals. They were concrete. I don’t have that this time. I am missing the drive that I had. I am trying to find it. I really am, but part of me keeps questioning in the end what does it matter. I know it would be a source of pride to me to run a marathon in 4:30 or under, but other than that what will the point be? I have PR’d in various events. In looking at Athlinks today, I realized that there were a few events that I finished decently and one I even came in first in my age group. Of course, there were only 4 women in that group but still. I’m wondering…… What does it matter?

I not only love to run, but being a runner is part of who I am now. If I were to never run another race again (that’s not happening – don’t panic), I would still need running in my life. I love running, but I’m growing weary of training. Not physically, but mentally.

I know all this mumbo jumbo in my head is due to all that has happened this summer. You can’t loose a loved one and not think about what is important in your life. I wish that was all, but like the commercials says “but there’s more!”

I am committed to running the New York City Marathon. I am committed to training for the New York City Marathon. I am committed to finishing the New York City Marathon. I just wish I knew how I wanted to finish it and what I want out of race day.

It feels good to say that. It feels good to know that.

That is the one thing that has fallen into place today while other things were falling out of place. I do know that I am committed to New York which will mean that I will be committed to training for it. Like a child whose old toys is about to be thrown away, I did not realize how important this has become to me until the prospect of having to bow out became a possibility.

If there sounds like there is more to this story, there is but I’m not at a point to share it all. In the scheme of things it’s not anything tragic or bad, it is just something that I have to deal with. Like laundry, some things just need to be done. When the time is right, I will let you know.

Can You Do It?

Aug22

It’s hard not to compare yourself to others. I wonder if it’s human nature.

Yesterday I completed my longest run since my 50K. I ran 14 miles and to be honest, I didn’t run the whole thing. During this time, the baddest BAMR that I know was completing her I believe third FULL Ironman. She truly is amazing.

You know what?

Her amazing and mind boggling feats do not cancel out my hard fought 14 miles.

You know why?

It’s an apple and an orange.

Because I am in competition with no one but myself. Yes, right now, I am not the best competitor, but still.

Some of us (and I admit sometimes me too, but only briefly) think….

I’ll never be as fast as….

I’ll never run as far as….

I’ll never be blah, blah, blah…

You know what?

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It’s all noise. It’s all a distraction. It means nothing. It keeps us from our potential. For a long time I let what others could do that I couldn’t hold me back. I haven’t in a long time. I have the feeling that Meb and others at the top of their game don’t do this. Not because they are better than the rest of us (which lets be honest, they are). It is because they have confidence in themselves and their abilities. Yes, it’s probably much easier to do if your Meb, but there can only be one Meb.

For the average person, having confidence in oneself is hard. It means putting yourself out there even just in our own mind. Sometimes we talk ourselves out of something by saying we can’t do it. On some level it is easier to doubt ourselves than to try and then fail. Hence the reason I haven’t really committed to a diet:(

Here’s the thing though……

If you don’t put yourself out there, how will you know what you can do?

Now I’m not saying that we all need to run marathons, complete an ironman, or even run any races. I’m saying that we need to be honest with ourselves, our goals, and what we really want. If you never set any goals, how will you know when you’ve gotten to where you want to go?

I have a friend whose goal is simply to run 3 times a week. Another friend wants to qualify for Boston. Others streak every day for a mininimum of a mile. Some have BIG goals and others are just starting out and want to be able to run a mile. No matter what the goal, no matter how big or small you think they are, it important to have them.

I’m beginning to wonder if this is my problem with my NYCM training. Yes my goal last year was to quality which I did, but now I really don’t have a goal. I’ve already run 2 road marathons. Last year I set a private goal for the Marine Corps Marathon of finishing in 4:30 which I missed by 8 minutes and 14 seconds (yes, the seconds count). So maybe part of my problem is that in the back of my mind I’m wondering if I won’t be able to do it this time either. A little self sabotage goes a long way.

There is a saying that I love about children. It speaks about how children become what you tell them they can or can not be. The same thing applies to adults though. If your inner voice says you can’t do something, you won’t ever do it.

So it’s time I take my own advice and remember……

It’s better to have tried and failed than to never have tried in the first place.

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What are your goals?

Dreaming the Possible Dream

Jan21

If you recall last year I was chasing that little thing called the 9 plus 1. For those who don’t know what that is (even though I know you all do), it is a way to qualify for the New York City Marathon the following year. I am lucky enough to live close enough to NYC to have made this a viable way for me to get in. It is not “hard” to do, but it is a commitment of both time and effort. Thanks to my running friends, I was able to do it!

Now the thing with doing the 9 plus 1 is that even after you complete it, you still must register for the marathon or all that hard work is for naught. Registration for the 2016 opened today at 12:00. I believe that I completed my registration by 12:15. It’s a strange exciting feeling to know that I will be running the New York City Marathon this year.

It’s funny I never imagined that I would ever run a marathon. Then when I started to think about it and get caught up in the excitement of my fellow Mama runners, I thought well maybe I will one day run the NYCM and check marathon off my bucket list. Yet, now I’ve done 3 marathons to date and New York will be my 4th. That being said, I’m looking forward to being able to say that I’ve done New York. Come on it’s like the expression says, “If I can make it there, I can make it anywhere!”

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I know that NY will be different than the others. I know NY will hold a special place in my heart as my love for running and some amazing friendships have been developed chasing the dream. The good thing about dreams though is that reality is always so much more than you imagined.

I am also so excited that I am now one step closer to NYCM as could be shown by how quickly I registered today.

I once thought that NY would be it for me. That I would hang up my running shoes next to my medal and put the crazy business of running behind me. Then I realized something….. There is no putting this behind me. There is no going back. I’m an addict. It apparently is now in the blood. I will continue to run. I will continue chase other dreams. Dreams that have not even been dreamed yet.

What do you dream of?

Slowing Down Isn’t Always A Bad Thing

Jan12

Someone once said to me that if I was a running dog that I would be a working dog like a husky. At the time, I took offense to it but now I think I would like to own it proudly. As a matter of fact, I know that I would. I would be happy to have the running power and stamina of a husky.

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Besides look how magnificent they look while running. But that’s another issue.

What has become apparent to me is that for some strange reason, just like the husky, I’ve developed a desire to run and run far. I actually think that depending where I’m running that I would rather do a long slow run than a quick short one.

Yes, that boggles my mind too!

Now maybe this talk is just because I’m having such a good recovery after my trail marathon. I don’t know. I do know though that it is NOT that the trail was easier than a road marathon. It is just that they really are two very different beasts. Both road marathons that I have ran I reached a point where I questioned my sanity, I couldn’t believe how stupid I was to sign up for it, and I did hit the proverbial wall. None of these things happened out on the trail. NONE. I’m not sure why.

Yes, both races are technically the same distance. Although, I do believe that a trail marathon is actually longer but that will happen. I think there were a few major differences for me and maybe part of it was because I didn’t approach it like a race. I went into this with no time limits, no set paces, nothing. I went into my trail marathon like I was going for a normal run. I didn’t watch my pace at all. There in lies the difference. It’s not that I wasn’t pushing myself but especially (for me) on muddy trails there is only so fast I can go. When I ran my MCM I kept a fairly steady pace the entire race of about 10:30 while my average pace on the trails was about 13:30 with some miles hitting 16.

Now don’t think that just because I was running slower that I wasn’t working. Trails are a different beast than Satan’s Tar as Dawn now refers to roads. One of the reasons my pace is so much slower on the trails besides needing to run them more often is that I approach them with caution. They are muddy. They are filled with slipper rocks. There are places that you really need to pay attention to which doesn’t always happen on the roads. When running the roads especially in a closed course race, you really can just zone out. You can never zone out on the trails unless you want to eat the dirt or worse.

Now, the side effect of running slower does mean that you have more time on your feet. I ran MCM officially in 4:38:18. I ran this event officially 6:30:08. So the slower pace does add up. That being said as far as the actual running goes, I think that I enjoyed the trail running more. My mother asked me what motivated me to run for such a long time. I had no answer on the motivation other than I just liked to run. I’m not winning any races. This event there wasn’t any bling or even a t-shirt. It was just that satisfaction of knowing what I could accomplish and that was enough.

I have decided after this weekend’s event, that I really need to do more trail running. More trail races. Before this event, I was wondering what I was thinking signing up for the Dirty German. Now I’m looking to see how I can squeeze more off road races into my schedule.

oh my.

Have your tried the trails yet?

Fake It Till You Feel It

Jan11

As the weekend comes to a close, I’m working on recovering from it. I went it to it not really thinking that I would need to recover from it. I was signed up to run my first trail marathon. I hadn’t trained like I was running for a marathon. I hadn’t blogged about it at all. Outside a few of my running friends, I’m not sure anyone knew I was supposed to do it. I was very ambivalent about it. To the point that my coach sent me an email the day before asking how I was feeling and also addressing the fact that I had been VERY quiet which she let go because of the holidays.

My reply to her really held no clues as to what I was going to do or how I was planning to do it either.

“Yeah, I know I’ve been under the radar lately with this trail race. Things seem to be settling into the normal crazy routine. I’ve probably been quiet because I’m really a bit ambivalent about this weekends event and really even today just planning to see how it plays out. I’m thinking because this is not one of my goal events for the year and it is also a place I frequently run at that is causing the lack of excitement. I also am going into this knowing that even though I could probably run the marathon distance, I won’t if tomorrow I feel like it’s going to cause me problems for NYC Half training. This is not to say that I’m not going into it not wanting/planning to run the full. It just means that I plan to listen to my body. In saying that I am do not mean that I am expect it to be a piece of cake. Again, very ambivalent. “

I’m sure after she read my email, she scratched her head and was wondering why the Hell she is coaching me.

I really was planning not to plan and just do a wait and see approach. That being said though, I did decide to pretend that I was really going to run a real race. I carb loaded the night before with some yummy Mac & Cheese and chicken served with a side of bread. I packed my bucket for the event. Yes, a bucket. It was a great suggestion from a running friend, Mary, whose hubby is a pro at these things.

I got to the event and met up with my fellow MRTT Mama’s and friends. We took the required pre-race pictures!

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We were all running different distances, so we only got to cross the start line together. I’ve run all my big events by myself. I’ve also done many of my training runs by myself. Even so, I still didn’t know what I was going to do. Part of my mind was thinking that I would just do the 30k and be happy with it. Part of my mind thought that I might even settle for the half and recognize that was ok especially since I hadn’t been running tons in December. Then something changed along the way.

Now what changed me from being ambivalent to actually running a marathon? I’m not really sure. I think what helped was that in the very beginning I met a fellow runner who I was able to fall into not just a good running pattern with but I was able to chat away the miles with. She has her own amazing story which isn’t mine to share, but I will say that she has run over 40 marathons, 50K’s, 100 milers. She is a true Ultra runner. More importantly she was someone who made the miles go by easily. So we ran almost 3 laps of the 4 needed for the marathon distance. She was stopping, but I felt strong. I felt like I had more in the tank. Also my mindset somehow changed from ambivalence to “I want this.” I was so close how could I stop?

I recently had a conversation with a friend who had lost her Mojo about how to get it back. With the New Year, she was starting back with her running. She was doing it, but her heart wasn’t in it yet. I told her that she just needed to keep going until one day she realized that she once again had found her Mojo. I told her to fake it until she felt it and I guess that is what I did at this trail race. Sometimes, you just need to show up for the magic to happen.

Since I went into this event with no thought, no plan, no idea; I had no pace or time in mind. So when I ran it, I just ran it. I wore my watch but I really didn’t pay any mind to it other than when it would beep the miles away. That being said, my laps were consistent.

Lap times – 1:29:53, 1:29:48, 1:42:57, 1:47:13

I even stopped at the end of lap 3 to take a picture or my running buddy and then some more pictures on the trail.

In the end, I am glad that I went as I really had thought of bailing. The trails as always are beautiful, peaceful, and bring me happiness. In the end, I am happy with my official time of 6:30:08. My actual running time according to Nike+ was around 6:18 which I can’t believe. It boggles my mind to think that I ran that long, but numbers don’t lie. It also gave me a big confidence boost for the Dirty German 50K as even though I was VERY happy to have finished, I felt like I could have gone more. Maybe not happily, but I could have if needed.

It was a good day all the way around. I am so glad I went and I’m even happier that I finished especially when my running buddy Dawn puts it like this about me, she “is always pushing me to take more chances and to go for it. She put her money where her mouth is with a great marathon at Watchung!”

And truth be told, I couldn’t do it without the encouragement that I get from my running and non running friends.

The funny thing is when it was all over both Dawn and my Coach were not surprised that I did the full as that was what I originally wanted to do. Dawn said I’m too stubborn to back down and my Coach just said that she knew it.

Have you ever gone into a race not caring about the outcome?

Random Thoughts During a Marathon

Oct27

There isn’t just a lot of truth to this.

This is a fact!

But before we get to mile 26, lets go back to the beginning!

I started the race with the thought that I was going to go for my B plan of 4:30. My A plan is just a dream, but you’ve got to have one of those anyway. It was a cool morning with a very light drizzle as we were waiting for the start of the race. The race started and I was near the 4:30 pace group. We hovered around each other all day, but alas they finished where they were supposed to. I felt strong during the first half of the race. I remember thinking around the half way point how good I was feeling, how much my training had helped me get to this point, and was just having an amazing race.

My pace was good.

My legs felt strong.

I was on fire.

Then as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. My legs still felt strong. It really was never my legs that gave out on the run. As the saying goes, running is a mental sport. By mile 22, I was having a full on conversation with myself about how absolutely stupid running a marathon was. It went something like this:

Who ever started the first marathon was an idiot.

How stupid is it to run these things. I mean really, does it really matter if I run 26.2 miles.

What is the point of this?

Why am I doing this?

I dragged my Mom and sister to come watch me do this! What is wrong with me?

Then I hit another mile and realized that if I would just shut the hell up, that I might actually finish this race. The conversation changed to:

You are this close, you might as well finish this.

You didn’t drag you Mom and sister here for you not to finish.

You can throw up later.

You want that cool medal don’t you?

It’s up to you.

Then my sister met me for the last two miles and ran along side me. Even though that was my slowest mile, it was my best mile as she encouraged me to finish. I didn’t throw up although I thought I might. I didn’t give up, although a big part of me wanted to. Then I hit mile 25 and knew that I could finish it. Then I hit mile 26 and hit my fastest pace of the day 8:23. So there really is more left in the cup when you think it is empty.

My advice to anyone running a marathon in the near future is to make sure that when you hit mile 20, you tell yourself to shut the Hell up. They are right when they say that the Marathon really doesn’t start till mile 20 because that’s when the fun really begins.

So enjoy the ride.

Stay true to yourself.

Never give up and remember

You Got This!

You Want Me To Tell You What!?!

Oct16

We all have goals.

We all have dreams.

We don’t always verbalize them though and put them out into the universe.

Even someone like me who seems to tell everyone more than they want to know. There is just something too scary about doing that. When I ran Philly, I had a goal in mind, but I really didn’t tell anyone. I did say that I would like to finish in under 5 hours. What I didn’t tell anyone was that in my mind, I really wanted to finish around 4:45.

Guess what?

I finished Philly in 4:46:20

Guess What?

In my mind, I wanted to finish around 4:45. I told that to no one. It was between me, myself, and I. It was less scary that way. This time apparently, I have to put it all out there. Now, I don’t mean here on the blog out there. I mean I have to tell my coach. She wants me to start thinking about and tell her Monday the following:

A: The dream race on the perfect day goal

B: the hard but doable goal

c: the day sucked but I’m still happy with my race goal

In my mind, I know what I would like the answers to be. I’m just not sure If I want to lay it on the line like that. My Coach says that this is her way of making you stay accountable. I’m not sure that I want to be accountable. She also said that A does not need to be feasible YET or it can just be something that is possible but ambitious. I think I will go with the later. I also have to be careful because if I put too ambitious of a goal, she might think that’s what I want to run in the NYCM next year.

So I think I know how I will answer these questions in my mind. I just need to see if I have the nerve to write them for her.

Do you say your race goals out loud?

Vacation is Over

Aug13

It’s been quiet around here lately, but that doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten about my blog. I took a vacation. I took a relaxing vacation. Actually it is a vacation that I’ve been taking for 17 years with my husband. It’s a vacation that his family has been taking for over 40 years now. I was camping on a beautiful lake in Vermont. It’s not a glamorous vacation, but I really wouldn’t trade it at all. I go with my husbands family and we literally take up several camp sites. The kids run all over the place with cousins and no one even cares about missing electronics. One of the best things is that the area we camp at has not only limited internet connection, but also limited cell reception. It really is nice to get away from it all.

Now normally while hubby is out fishing with the boys, I lounge in the hammock and read. I will admit that although I did spend some time napping in the hammock, I did not do any reading. Mostly because I took this quiet time to get in some runs. Now, before going I looked up some local trails. I, actually, found the perfect trail that literally was 10 minutes from camp. It was a beautiful trail on a converted rail line. All these years and I never knew it was there. Literally, picture perfect!

Who knew there were flat trails in Vermont!?!

Not me, but now that I found it I can’t wait to run them again next year.

I got in several runs including two eight mile runs one of them being my tempo run. I’m not sure if it was the cooler air, the scenery, or the flat trail but I not only kept my pace but actually ran a little faster even running mile 7 at 8:55. I think it was a fluke, but I’ll take it!

I was determined not to let vacation keep me from running and with the exception of not getting my long run in, I did ok. I will admit that I was very disappointed that I did not get in my long run which was a scheduled seventeen miles. I wanted to run around the lake we camp at. It would have been an amazing challenge due to the hills. I’m not sure if I would have made it, but I won’t know till next year when I will make sure that I have time!

I’m glad that I kept my training up because when I got home I realized that the Marine Corps Marathon is now less than 75 days away. Oh my!.

Do you keep up your training on vacation?

What’s Your Plan?

Jul3

So as you know, I’ve been following a plan. A very specific plan with specific paces, miles, fuel requirements and such. I’ve never followed a plan so strictly before. I think the closest that I’ve come when I was training for the Runner’s World Hat Trick but even then I was a little more flexible with my plan. Now, I do love having a specific plan that I know is designed to help me maximize my running potential and will have me prepared for the Marine Corps Marathon. That being said, you do have to give up something when following your plan so strictly.

I miss running with my friends:):)

Now don’t feel sorry for me and I will also admit to being a little hormonal as I write this, but I do miss the ability to just join in any run that my group is having. Now part of this is me as if I have a plan to follow, I need to follow it. Plus I am paying to have this plan made for me, so I really need to follow it. And part of it, I don’t want to have to tell my running coach that I ignored her very well thought out weekly plan for me:)

I know that some of this is also a learning curve as I adjust to following a plan so strictly and I will learn to fit the group runs into my schedule as I was doing in the beginning. Now that the kids are off from school it really does make it a little harder on everyone’s schedule too. Plus I can now officially say I am in Marathon Training. I will adjust. Right now, I’m still trying to work my summer runs into my summer schedule. Trying to decided when to run and knowing that on some days I’m going to have to run EARLY. I don’t mind leaving them for short runs, but I don’t like the thought of being across town if they need me. I’m still trying to work my runs into my schedule with the boys, let alone a group schedule.

Plus I’ve been working very hard on my pacing and I need to make sure that I keep that up. I feel like I am finally getting a handle on things. I don’t want to loose that. I am learning how important it is to be able to regulate my pace and I need to keep working on that to improve it as I’m learning how important that will be in the actual marathon. So if my 6 mile run has a specific pace for it, I need to run that pace. Then my recovery runs might be too slow for the group as I am running them at 11+ paces and I need to keep them slow. Many of my running friends are also beginning their Marathon Training too. We all have our own training plans to follow as ultimately we each have to walk to the starting line of our events.

Maybe part of this mumble jumble is the fear of beginning marathon training. To know that it’s real. To know that it’s only a short 113 days away. I don’t know. What I think is that maybe I should go get a chocolate bar and I will feel much better. That and getting my run in today!

Are you following a plan?

How flexible are you with your plan?

The Accidentally Running Mama

Run, Bike, Swim and Have a Life!