Next week at this time I will hopefully be putting the final touches on what I will need for the NYC Marathon. Hopefully, I will even be getting ready to sit down to a nice carb loading dinner too.
I’ve finally decided to take my head out of the sand and actually it has been very good. All this talk about not being excited and admitting the truth of how I’m feeling has been freeing. Dare I say it, it is even getting my a little excited.
I’m an avoider by nature. I like to bury my head in the sand and not deal with things. It’s often my way of dealing with things. Dealing with things is messy, complicated, and means you actually have to face things. So by pretending the marathon wasn’t happening, I could just go about my business.
When I pulled back the curtain, I got wise words of advise and incite from friends. One friend really knows me well and she may have put the final nail in the coffin why I was feeling the way I was feeling. It was the real thing that I was avoiding which was NOT the marathon….
My surgery. See the way, I spoke about my upcoming surgery (getting my thyroid removed) was it’s after the marathon. So if the marathon happens, by default that means then so is my surgery. Yes all the other reasons for my non marathon excitement are true, but this was true. When she asked me about it, it really was like a door was opened. I heard and knew the truth of her words. I will have to deal with this, BUT FIRST THE MARATHON.
Then another thing happened, in talking with my coach and friends we started talking about my training and goals. My one running mama pointed out that the if I want to see the sites of NY, we can take a short road trip to see this and that I can run this race. I realized something. I think I actually want to run this thing. I mean not all out I’m going to die run this thing, but I want to run this and I want to run this well.
I’ve got a lot coming up, but it’s time to be a grown up and face them. I realize that I want this (the marathon not surgery silly). I want it bad. I want to hobble from the finish line of the NYCM knowing that I ran a smart race. That I ran it to the best of my ability. That my training was not just to get to the start line, but get my ass to the finish line too.
I’ve got this now.
And thank you to all my real life in person friends who have given me encouragement, kick in the behind, and your wonderful incites. You are amazing and I’m so lucky to have all of you.