We all have our doubts.   We all have our insecurities.   We all have our trigger points.  The part of growing is not only recognizing them, but accepting them and dealing with them and moving past them.

I come across as a very positive person.   For the most part I am a glass half full kind of gall.   I’m even the I am blessed to have a glass kind of gal.  I also may come across as a confident person not an obnoxiously confident  I’m better than you person, but the confidence in myself and abilities.

I’ll let you in on a little secret.

Some days I’m not.   The trick is on these days (and sometimes it is more than a day) is to push through.  It’s not always easy to face things.   Some days it is easy to get lost in the darkness.   Some days you need to remind yourself to push through.  It is easy to unpack and stay as even though it is a dark and scary, it can be easier to stay than move forward.   Sometimes it’s hard to move forward, but with each step it gets easier.  The more you move ahead, the brighter it becomes.

Some days I think to myself,

“why do I do all these races?”

“What is the point?”

“What are you trying to prove?”

and

“What is the point?”

Here’s my truth….

I was never athletic.   I am not a fast runner.   I do not look like the typical runner.   I am a middle of the pack runner who has yet to complete a marathon without walking.

Yet….

I keep running.

Some days I must remind myself that is enough.

Some days I must be mindful not to  allow myself to talk myself in a way that I would never put up with from anyone else.

Some days I must remind myself that outside opinions do not matter.

Some days, I must remind myself that I am in competition with no one but myself.    That from where I started, I have come so far.   That I do this for no one but me.   That the point to this is what ever I want it to be.

I’ve been told by more than one person that they find me inspiring.   Every time I hear that I laugh a little to myself.   Some days I forget that I am not the same person that I was growing up.   That I have come so far and further than many people will ever realize.

The trick in not just our training but in life is to keep moving forward.   It’s ok to stumble, but each time you do

get up

dust yourself off

and

get moving again.

PS – I went out for 8 miles today:) 🙂

As the Gambler says

“You’ve got to know when to hold ’em
Know when to fold ’em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run”

It’s so true.   We have all been there or maybe your one of the lucky one’s who have never lost their Mojo, but it happens.   I lost mine briefly after running the Philly Marathon.   Although I don’t know if it was a true loss of my Mojo as much as recovering from an marathon that I wasn’t fully trained to run.   I took a month off and was ready to come back to chase the 9 plus 1.

Maybe I haven’t been running long enough to need that long of a break.   Even though it’s been a few years, it is all still so new to me.   Plus I keep coming up with bigger dreams to keep my running shoes moving.

That being said there is nothing wrong with loosing your running Mojo.

Nothing.

I also think there is a big difference between loosing your Mojo and needing a break.

Here is the thing in life,  it is never the same.   It evolves.   It changes.   The things that we want and do change with the season of our life.  (I totally stole season of our life from my Mother who uses this all the time).   Anyway, just because we love something doesn’t mean that we don’t need a break from it.   Sometimes it will be a short break.   Sometimes it will be a long break.    And that is ok.

Case in point….

When my middle son was born almost 14 years ago, I discovered the art of scrapbooking.   I loved it.  I used to say that it was my happy place.    For a time it was and I did it every chance that I got.   I’ve got a shelf of scrapbooks to back it up too!   I loved it so much that I even became a Creative Memories Consultant to pay for my hobby.    Then something happened along the way.   It started to feel more like a job than an escape.   It no longer became my happy place, but another chore that needed to be done.   I stopped.

Now I will admit that I miss it.

I will admit that I still have all of my supplies and sometimes look at them longingly.

I sometimes even feel guilty that I haven’t gone back to it yet especially because my youngest only has a baby book done and not the volumes his brother’s have, but that is Mommy Guilt.

I do know though that when the time is right, I will go back.   It seems like a daunting task to think about now – organizing, planning, and all that will come with going back.  BUT when the time is right,  it won’t feel that way.   It will be with excitement that I dust off my supplies.   It will be with enthusiasm  that I put everything in place to start.    It will be with joy that I begin again.

Until such time, they can wait.

The same is true with running.

Your shoes aren’t going anywhere.

Your running friends although will miss you, will be there for you when you return.

It is ok to know when to fold ’em.

It’s ok to know when to walk away.

and

More importantly, you will know when it is time to run.

Life changes and sometimes  all we need is to step away with no guilt, no remorse, and no looking back.   I believe that there is a time and place for everything in our lives.   Sometimes we have to step away from something to allow something new to enter our lives.   If I hadn’t given myself a much needed break  from my scrapbooking, I know that I would have never discovered another happy place called running.

In the end, it boils down to doing what makes you happy.   Life is to short to do things that you don’t want to do.   The trick is though is to know when it is the right time to make a change.

Post Edit

After reading this my sister thought this meant that I was taking a break from my running.   I’m not.    I am running full steam ahead!   This post was inspired by a friend:):)