Tag Archive | thyroid

Be Kind…. Even to Yourself

Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why do we always put ourselves down? Why don’t we treat ourselves the way we treat our friends? Why aren’t we kinder to ourselves?

Inquiring minds want to know!

As with everyone, I am in a few group message chains with my friends. These forms of communication are even more important now when you can’t see your friends. In one of these groups recently, we were all saying all the bad but very tasty things we were eating that we shouldn’t be. Then how we needed to get on track. On and on….. You know this conversation because I’m sure you’ve had these converstions.

(Sidebar – Do ONLY women have these conversations? Seriously. Although my husband has said to me about getting back on track, I don’t think he discusses with his fishing or work buddies. Maybe I’m wrong. Am I? )

Anyway after this conversation where we were all beating ourselves up about gaining weight, not loosing weight, and our bad eathing habits I started to think…..

This particular group was a bunch of running Mamas. Some are still running and training for virtual marathons. Those of us not running are still active. We are not sitting on the couch eating bon bons all day even during a pandemic.

A wise friend said, “Life has been extra nuts lately right ? Eat the damn cake chocolate pie cookie ..drink the wine beer pizza whatever …and more importantly be kind to ourselves”

Why is it so hard to be kind to ourselves?

If a friend calls us and tells us they totally blew their diet, blew through their Weight Watcher points, or gained weight; we would come back to them with a kind word (at least I hope so!). We would not berate them. We would not tell them they were hopeless. We would not tell them they blew it. We would reply that it’s ok. That tomorrow is another day. That each day is hard enough without beating themselves up. We would be kind.

So lets be kind to ourselves. Let’s start by treating ourselves the way we treat our friends. Let’s start by giving ourselves a break. Let’s start by knowing that it’s ok to eat the donut, eat the cake, and even eat the brownie but just maybe not in the same night. And if for some reason, we do eat them all in the same night to pick ourselves up the next day and say it’s ok. We will do better.

Here is another thing. As a woman of a certain age, it is pretty damn hard to loose weight. Hormones are all over the place. Metabolism is non existent. Then add no thyroid and a non working parathyroid glands and it is perfect storm of impossible weight loss.

Seriously.

No joke.

No lie.

Now I am by no means saying it is impossible to loose the weight. I am just saying that I am not committed enough right now to engage in trying to the extreme necessary. And while I may eat the donuts, the cake, the treats for the most part I really am not a bad eater. I eat a fairly healthy diet filled with lots of fruits and vegetables For right now, I have embraced a pescatarian diet. I don’t really eat much processed foods. I’ve dieted. I’ve trained and run marathons. On paper, I look good. On the scale is another story.

My sister has suggested that I talk to my doctor about hormone replacement therapy. Truth be told, I take so many pills a day because of my Hypoparathyroidism that the thought of adding to the mix is just tiresome. So I am at a loss and I really do not feel the need to go to extremes as I have maintained where I am for the last 3 years since my surgery when I added these extra 20 pounds.

Now please don’t take this to mean that I have given up. I haven’t. I am not sure when yet, but I will once again start tracking my food. This actually is more for when I go to the doctors for my physical so that we can discuss it. Although my doctor is not one to use the scale as the be all indicator of health. If your doctor isn’t, I would say find one!

Now with all this being said, I am not saying that I wouldn’t be thrilled to wake up 20 pounds lighter tomorrow. I’m just saying for right now….. With all that is going on in the world…… It is just not my priority. I am not saying it won’t one day in the near future, but for today I am content to walk my mile a day and complete my 30 day yoga challenge.

Down but NOT Out

Patience

I’ve had surgery before.   I was prepared for that.    I know how to recovery from surgery and even though I’ve been told I’m a bad patient I think I’m a pretty good one.   I take my meds when I’m supposed to.   I’ve had more energy after having c-sections than I have after this procedure.   This I wasn’t prepared for.   I figured that I would bounce back to my normal self within a week.   Well it’s been a week and I’m not there yet.

For the most part I feel ok.   I’ve still got some soreness in my neck from the incision.   But there is more than that.   I’ve had some muscle pain in my shoulders and neck maybe from the way I’m holding my head.    Who knows?   Then there is the tingles, muscle spasms in the hand where my pointer finger locked up and I couldn’t bend it.   Didn’t last long but was freaky.   I want to feel like my normal self again.

I haven’t even  been doing much of anything.   To be honest, I’m not really ready to do much anyway.   I woke up today at 10:30 and by 2:30 I was ready for and took a nap.     This is not me and I don’t like it one bit.   Not at all.   Not to say that I haven’t been known to take an afternoon siesta on occasion, but this is different.    When I asked for advice, I was told rightly so that the body needs time to recovery from the trauma of surgery.   To think of how much energy it takes to recover from the flu and that one week really isn’t that much time.   I get this but patience really has never been my strong suit.   You might even say I’m an impatient person.

Add to the fact that this is my favorite time of year and I don’t feel like doing anything.   Although, I was very proactive and decorated my house presurgery so I do have that going for me.   I just thought that I would be back.

Today was the town Turkey Trot and as much as I loved seeing everyone’s photos, it did sting a little.   In my mind, I knew I wouldn’t be up to running it but my heart didn’t know it.   I’m also wondering what it is going to be like when I do finally get those running shoes back on.   Actually, I’m not even thinking of running.  (ok, I am).   I think that I will start with a walk.    That being said, I worry about how far and how fast I will be able to run once I get back out there.   It’s a concern.

A running friend who last year had the same procedure said that it will take time to make sure that I find the right dosage for my hormone levels.   I get that.   I just don’t like it.   Then I remind myself of the following:

  1.   In the whole scheme of things, this is nothing.
  2.  I’m very lucky that I have a supportive family/friends who are taking care of me
  3. That this is temporary
  4. People are dealing with much worse.

So it is all good, but I think I’m allowed and it is good to recognize the truth of how I’m feeling.

I may be down, but I’m not out….

 

 

Still Going Strong

As I said in my last blog post, I was having surgery.    For those not in the loop, I had to get my thyroid removed as it had 3 nodules.  One they couldn’t determine after a few tests weather it was good or bad.   The consencous then was that the whole thyroid should come out.

I’ll be honest as much as I knew this was the right thing to do, I was not thrilled with the prospect of surgery.   Really, who would be?  For me though it was not just the surgery but because I’m not a fan at all of having my neck touched. So the thought of having someone even a skilled surgeon cutting into my kneck freaked me out as I think it would anyone.

 In life though you do what you have to do  and this was something that I  had to do.   So off I went.

Have to say that everyone could not have been nicer at the hospital and made me feel so comfortable.    Anastisiologist came in and told me how he was going to give me something to take the edge off like the equivalent of a couple margaritas.   I must be a cheap date because literally the next thing I remember after that was waking up in the recovery room

I don’t remember much at first except flailing my arms saying, “I feel like I should be doing something.”   The nurses were probably thinking what a freak, but were so nice and just told me to relax and that I didn’t need to be doing anything.  So I because I really couldn’t do anything anyway passed right back out sleeping off the anasesia.

Then when I was waking up a little more like a normal person, I was chatting with one of the nurses.  Low and behold, she’s in my local chapter of Moms Run This Town!!!  Small world!!  She mentioned her friend who added her and I know by name but have never met.   She was even saying how she runs the local trails and may run the January winter race.   Would love to meet her there to thank her for being so awesome.


So now I’m onto recovery.    Denial has always been my friend.  Ok, maybe not my friend but a great coping mechanism. This is a little more than I wanted to think, But in whole scheme of things it’s not that bad.  It could be so much worse and I’m on road to recovery.  I’ve really got nothing to complain about and am beyond lucky on so many levels.

So now I will say,  look away if you don’t want to see….

Not as bad as it could be and not as pretty as I had hoped.   Either way, it’s all good.  
Road to recovery continues and it actually looks worse than it feels now.   Just have to make sure to remind myself that I don’t need to be doing anything except worry about recovery.