Do You Know Where Your Going To?

Diana Ross sang it best and I still can hear her sing the words (Yes, I’m that old)

Do you know where you’re going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
Where are you going to, do you know?
Do you get what you’re hoping for?
When you look behind you there’s no open door.
What are you hoping for, do you know?

It’s been a roller coaster of emotions these last few weeks filled with ups and downs. It’s made these words play through my mind more than once.

My family went on our annual family camping vacation. Don’t crunch your nose up, camping really is fun in a back to nature kind of way. Yes, there are downsides to sleeping in a tent for almost 2 weeks, but the good far out ways the bad.

Really

Here are just some examples of the good

Usually what is even better is this view comes with limited outside noise as there is no available cell service or wifi in camp and when needed requires seeking it out and leaving camp. Something, I try not to do to enjoy the peace and tranquility. This year though this normal good thing did cause somewhat of a dilemma.

This year, time away from camp that would have been spent either running or biking was spent searching for the elusive signal usually followed by the question, “Can you hear me now?”

I gladly gave up this time as I’ve said before sometimes other things are just more important. While away, sadly but not expectantly, my almost 92 year old grandmother passed away. Training was not a priority.

Vacation wasn’t a bust, but it was different. It had it’s ups and downs. Then two days after we got back, yesterday, we laid my Grandmother to rest.

Today I finally went out on a run. Not because it was in my schedule which I totally have been off, but because I needed to.

It was hot. It was humid. I had to get up early. It sucked. It was hard. All that being said, I needed it. I met a friend for the first half of the run and it was good to run with her. It is always good to run with her as miles don’t seem as bad when your chatting them away. Then I ran her home where she refilled my water bottles and I was off again. As much as I enjoyed running with my friend, I also enjoyed these solitary miles too. It was nice to be with m own thoughts for a bit too.

The beauty of this run is that it really was just a run to run. I kept the pace slow due to the heat. I walked when I felt I needed to. I stood in a sprinkler when I could find one. There was no pace. There was n plan other than to run 10 miles. It is what I needed.

During the second part of the run, I had Diana Ross’s beautiful voice in my head with no answers. I’ve been questioning where my running is taking me and what am I hoping for. I’ve got no answers. At this point, I plan to just keep plugging way. Trying to get back onto a schedule. Trying to find the drive that got me to where I am now, but it’s hard. Part of me just wants to run to run. No more training. Nor more paces. Just the freedom to run. It’s not the normal, I’m tired of training that comes near the end of marathon training when it feels like a job. This is different and I’ve been feeling this way for a bit now.

That being said, I have worked too hard to get where I am. I am not giving up on running the NY City Marathon. I’m just hoping to find the spark that started it all again.

I’m holding onto what my friend told me today. It will come easier when the kids are back in school and I don’t feel like my running is interfering with family time.

Until such time, I will just keep running:)

Do You Know Where Your Going To?

Just Keep Moving…..

Jul25

Just like there are peaks and valleys in life. There are peaks and valleys in training. Sometimes, you even get stuck in the valley.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. We all have lives outside of our activities. Sometimes it gives us the drive to get moving and sometimes it sucks it away. I’m not talking about time management. I’m talking the mental game. We all know how that can make or break you.

I’ve missed a few runs these last few days. I went out the other morning for my 8 mile cut-down and finished just shy of 4. It wasn’t even close to the run that I was supposed to do. Life outside of my running got in the way and I needed to take care of it. Some things are more important than finishing your run. Then the next day it was hotter than hell and I figured I would do my long run at night. Night came and went with no long run. Figured I would do it the next morning. I got up for my run at the same time my 9 year old woke up. We watched Sandlot together. I figured I would do my run at night. When the time came though, I didn’t go.

I just had no motivation to get out the door.

Now, we all know the dread we sometimes face when it’s time for a long run. This is not my problem. My scheduled run is only 12 miles which is not really a distance that I dread. Seriously. My problem with getting out is different. I just don’t have the drive to go.

I’m as shocked as you are.

I’ve always been goal orientated, but now I’m like so so about my fall races. Doesn’t make sense since one of them in the NYC Marathon. What the Hell??!!?!

It really all started last month when I had a bit of a medical scare which thankfully turned out to be nothing. It was enough time though for my mind to play the what if game. Remember the race where I said If I could Shut up the Little Man Up?

I was like what does it all matter?

Then i got my head back on again, but I still didn’t have my drive back. I really wasn’t fully engaged mentally, but at least I was doing what needed to be done. Now I’ve got some other things sucking away my drive. Physically, I’m fine. Mentally, I may need a tune up.

Nothing has really happened. Nothing has really changed. Yet, something is different. It has taken a bit of my mojo away.

I also think what might not be helping is that I am dealing with the Summer Time blues. Yes, I know that we all think that it is the Winter Blues, but to me, at least this summer, it is the Summer Time Blues.

Summer leads to lots of fun, but it also means lots of solo running which most of the time I like. This year I’m missing the time with my morning running Mama’s. Maybe I’m avoiding my runs these last few days because the idea of running alone with my own thoughts is lonely. Who knows. Maybe I need this solo time to come to terms with things. I also need some laughs, small talk, and just the fun that comes with running with them brings.

I’m going to force myself to get out the door tonight. I might even do my 12. Who knows. What I do know is that maybe I’m just in need of getting away from it all. Maybe I’m just getting too close to vacation. Maybe I just nee to stop over thinking and without a doubt maybe I just need a run.

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Oops I Did It Again

May24

As mentioned before, the second loop of the Dirty German I was on my own. I had my trusty Garmin on counting down the miles left. (Yes, at a certain point I like to think in terms of how many miles are left not how many I already ran). When I was getting near the end though it seemed like the finish line would never come. Then I heard noise in the distance breaking the silence of the trail. It was like the call of the Sirens propelling me forward. It beckoned me. It gave my tired legs a jolt of energy. It brought me out of the trail and across the finish line.

I thought it only fitting that the song playing while crossing the finish line was Brittney Spears Oops I did it again. This seems to be how I get into these races in the first place. I just kind of jump right in and then say to myself, “Oops I did it again” guess I’m running another race.

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It was going to be different after the Dirty German I was 100% sure. This was just going to be something to cross off my list. Before the race, I even told my coach that I was going to need a break when it was over. I was sure my body was telling me it was time to slow down and run like a normal person. I’m sure that she’s heard these type of things from other runners, so she was like, “Yes, we can change things up, keep your base so your ready for marathon training, and have some fun.” That may not really have been what I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear, have a great summer, don’t eat to much ice cream, and have fun running like a normal person.

So here we are not even a full two week post Dirty German. I’ve had a few recovery runs and I’m chomping at the bits to get out there again. I miss it. I’ve got a lot of time when not running hours every day. Still not enough time to get everything done, but that’s a different story. Anyway, I told myself I was done. I was toast. I was not running anymore long races. Couldn’t wait to be done with NYCM, so I could officially end my training.

Then like every normal person or should I say every normal runner I Know, I go and sign up for another race. Actually, I signed up for three but it’s one event so I can count it as one sign up. I’m heading back to the Runner’s World Festival in October to do the Hat Trick again. This is the event where you run a 5K rest for about an hour. Then run a 10K and go home. Then come back the next day to run a half marathon. Now signing up for this makes perfect sense to me. Really, I can totally justify it…..

I previously talked to my coach about it. She, obviously, said the choice was mine and it would really depend how I wanted to run them and what I wanted to get out of NY since it is fairly close to it.
I love this race as it was my first big event.
I totally am justifying it by saying this will be good training for NY due to the hills. Really. Makes perfect sense.
I couldn’t help myself.

Besides, I think I still have self control because I had been thinking of signing up to run a trail event in the beginning of June. I haven’t done that yet, so I don’t think I’ve totally lost it yet. (Must be strong!)

As I said before, when you surround yourself with encouraging people doing amazing things, you can’t but help yourself.

How do you keep yourself in check?

One Thing At a Time

May18

Danger Will Robinson,

I am going to sound like the old lady that I am pretending not to become…….

When I was a kid we didn’t have all the technology we have now. What am I talking about? We didn’t have ANY. There were no cell phones, i-pods, 24/7 updates. Hell our phones were still attached to the wall and if you wanted to take music on the go, it was a big ole boom box. Not conducive to going anywhere except your front lawn.

You know what?

We didn’t miss anything. No we really didn’t. They were good times. We may have actually been more aware of what was going on than “the kids of today.” I see it everyday at pick-up. The first thing the kids do when they come out of school is look at their phones. Walking out with their heads down missing it all. Many of the parents too. Don’t get me wrong, I am as bad as the next person. I admit it. I might be worse, but I’m work in progress.

Now what does this have to do with running?

I’m getting there.

When I was at Dirty German on Sunday, I knew I probably would not run with headphones as many times when I’m running I don’t use music. I usually never do during a race because I usually like to experience the race around me. (try it) Part of me thinks that on my second loop inspiring music might have helped as I was running by myself, but being as I didn’t bring earbuds the decision had already been made. It didn’t really matter on the first loop because even though I was running by myself, I was not alone. (Yes, there is a difference).

There is a big part of me that loves running races without music, especially when I am by myself which is the norm. To save my phone battery, I even turned my phone onto airplane mode. No interruptions. I could hear my own breathing, I could be with my own thoughts, I could listen to the sounds of the trail, and really just be. It is almost meditative. Really. This kind of “alone” time is hard to come buy in the world we live in today. (Yes, I know I sound like Grandma).

We are so connected yet at the same time so disconnected. No I did not have some awe inspiring idea pop into my head or resolve an issue but it has happened. This run was all about the run. All about the distance and all about finishing. So no I was not thinking about anything else but my run – moving one foot in front of the other. This was enough. We don’t do that enough. We have become the age of the great multitaskers that we forget that sometimes it is ok to just do one thing at a time.

It is enough.

How could I not get into the zone when running these trails alone.

There is something to be said about taking the time to be by ourselves with no distractions. To get away from it all and just be. Our minds need it. A run like this recharges not just the body, but the mind.

relax

What do you think?

Crazy About Running

Mar22

funny-running-posts-1-20-03

It’s hard for some people to wrap their heads around, but I just like running. I’m not running away from anything. I’m not running towards anything. I JUST LIKE RUNNING! Period. End of Story. There is no great mystical problem that I am trying to solve. Based on the numbers I’m not alone.

According to Running USA’s Annual Marathon Report, there were 541,000 people who completed a marathon in 2014 with 47% of them being Master Runners. Did you know just by getting old that I get to call myself a Master Runner. Perk of being over 40 because you might be a Master Runner now too (Yes, you!).

Anyway, I digress. So there are A LOT of people running. The Half Marathon saw more than 2 million people finish in 2014 too.

Wow!

That’s a lot of people running away from their problems.

HA!

Again, maybe this is something that only another runner can understand. Although, I’m not sure why because everyone has something they like to do. For some of us that just means lacing up our shoes and putting in some miles. It is something we look forward to for a whole host of reasons.

Yes, I do enjoy the peace that running brings me. I also enjoy running with friends. I also enjoy the feeling that running brings. I enjoy the fact that I eat what I want because of the miles I run. I enjoy many things that running brings me.

Anyway, what I am trying to say is that some people really just enjoy running.

Seriously.

It’s actually something that is missed when not done on a regular basis.

Truth.

Again, maybe this is something that only another runner can understand.

I feel if Dr. Seuss was a runner, he would have said it something like this…

You have running shoe’s in your closet.

You put your feet in your shoes.

You can go out for any miles that you choose.

Just Run!

Nov9

It has been so long to run just to run. Sometimes near the end of marathon training running can begin to feel like a job because every run is for something. Be it a speed workout, long run, or even just a recovery run. Every run is mapped out to maximize your training. It is necessary, but it does get old. You do it because the more it feels like a job the closer you are to your event. Then the day comes where all that training pays off on a good day.

Then after said race, you are in recovery. You give your body the break that it needs. That it deserves. That it earned no matter how your race turned out. Mine was pretty good and my body recovered fairly quickly after Marine Corps. I do think that was because of all the miles that I put in. The way that I didn’t really deviate from my training plan, but that is over now.

It is a strange feeling not to be training for anything in the imminent future. I will say it feels nice. It gives your body and spirit a chance to reconnect with why you started running in the first place. I started running just to run. I forgot what that felt like. It’s a good feeling. No assigned pace. Just the you and the wind on your face.

Yesterday, I went out for what was supposed to be a recovery run. To be honest, I feel completely recovered as the marathon was now 2 weeks ago. So yesterday. Now, I know that last year it took me a long, long, long time to recover from the Philadelphia Marathon, but I did not go into that as well trained as this year. So yesterday, I decided to run to my son’s soccer game which was only about a mile and a half away. Then I figured I would do another 5 miles or so afterwards.

How did it go?

It went great. Although I wore my Garmin, I did not watch the clock. I just ran to run. I had no plan when I started other than to run a few miles. Then as I got into the run, I wanted to push myself. No reason. No pace. I just wanted to feel the burn in my lungs that can only come with a hard run. It felt great! It reminded me why I started to run in the first place. It wasn’t to hit a pace or a distance, it was just to run.

You know what?

Once I downloaded my run, I realized something. Not only did the run feel great emphasizing the intentional push of making my lungs burn and pushing myself to the limit, but the run looks good on paper. Not trying to, I ended up with not only very nice splits, but for me very fast splits! My last mile clocked in at 8:08. I have never run an eight minute mile till yesterday.

So, yes, when training for a specific event it is best to follow a plan. That being said, sometimes its fun just to push yourself to the limit and remember why you started running in the first place.

Suck it Up Buttercup and Smile

Sep2

I’ll let you in on a not so secret secret

Running a Marathon is hard.

I’ll let you in on another not so secret secret

Training for a marathon is even harder.

Yup, I said it.

I think that the training is just as demanding as running the actual marathon,

maybe even more so because you don’t tend to have cheering fans on a training run even if using Nike+

but

in a very different way.

Yes, Running a Marathon is VERY hard

as the saying goes,

It really is the truth.

Now, I’m not saying that everyone has to run a marathon if you don’t want to.

What I’m saying is that since I for some reason have said that I’m going to run a marathon, I need to train so that I can finish said marathon. Anyone who has read the last few posts, might know that I’ve been struggling. My struggles though have been more mental which has made my running suffer. I made the mistake of letting the doubts creep in. Yes, everyone has doubts time to time. The trick is to use your doubts to motivate you to push through not give you an excuse to fail. I needed to take a step back. A brief one as I’m running out of time to flub my training. I messed up a run. I missed some runs. I was becoming my own worst enemy. I needed to get out of my way and just run.

I went back and looked at my training runs realizing that I was able to do these runs that I was flubbing. I talked to Dawn. I talked with my coach. Both had very similar words of advice for me.

” You have done so well with this training and IT IS NOT EASY. “

NO it’s not easy. I never expected it to be easy, but even though I ran a marathon last year; this is my first time marathon training. I just did not take into account how hard it would be, but I’m realizing that is a good thing. I need it to be hard. I need to push myself. I want to do this and most of all I want to enjoy doing this.

Today, I went for a training run where I did not worry about my pace. I needed this run to get my head in the game. I only wanted to finish my 9 miles. I downloaded a mix on my Rock My Run App, put on my sun block, loaded up with water, and out the door I went. I used to run to think about why I started on this journey. I really just fell into running because of my first Sprint Triathlon. I hated it, but over time I realized what it brought into my life. That although not a “fast” runner, I could be a steady runner. It was something that I did for me. I also thought about how far of come, how much I’ve accomplished, and how much I can still accomplish if I just keep my head on straight.

Back to the run. I did it. I did what I set out to accomplish. Running just to run. Running for the joy I get out of it. Then when I looked at my splits, I realized that I wasn’t that far off pace from what my training plan called for 20-25 seconds. Average pace ended up being 11:06 in 1:37:12. My head is back in the game…. At least for today!

Becoming a Night Owl

Aug20

Now I’m not sure when I said this, but I do know in the past that I have made the statement that I have it easier than some people with my training schedule. Last summer it was different with the boys being in more camps giving me more time to get my trainining in during the day. That may have been true when I said it, but it does not seem to be the case anymore. I have turned into a night owl with my running.

It is good

and

It is bad.

The good part is that the evenings are cooler (not really, but at least the sun is not beating on my back). Last night’s run according to my weather app said it felt like 76 with 83% humidity. I was a hot sweaty mess by the end with sweat literally dripping from me. Isn’t that a pretty vision. I don’t understand people who don’t sweat when they run. I know them. I’m related to some, but I just don’t get it.

It looks like I ran in a sprinkler, but I did not!

The other good part is that I can go about my day normally without worrying about when to get my run in.

The bad part is when everyone else in my family is home relaxing, I am running out the door. I’ve been doing it often and it does cut into a little bit of the family time. I love my family time.

Then there is the whole safety issue. As you know from my previous post on this, I am not afraid to light up the night when I go out. I want to be seen. That being said, there are still so many stupid drivers out there at night who may even drive a little faster because they are not expecting anyone to be out on the roads running. Shhhh, don’t tell my mother but last night I had to jump on the grass as a kid (yup, I’m that old) was taking a corner way too fast and was turning too wide. This is why when running at night, I do tend to run closer to the side of the grass by turns. People seem to take them way too fast and it is easier to get out of their way.

So tip for the day –

Do NOT run in the middle of the road near corners on quiet streets because these tend to be the ones you need to worry about most.

Then there is the whole it’s dark thing. I don’t mind it, but some streets just need more lighting in my opinion.

I’m still learning which streets to avoid at night and this one became one last night. Not enough street lighting to make me happy.

Now I am not trying to discourage anyone from running at night, because you do what you’ve got to do. I do like it as it can also be a very peaceful time to run. Less distraction than during the day and causing you to focus more on your run.

Although truth be told I was slightly distracted last night as my MRTT is having a running scavenger hunt. So I did have to stop along the way for some fun because anything you do life should be fun!

Here is what I found.

I still was out done by my very creative MRTT Mama’s, but it’s all fun and games!

Hoe do you keep your training fun?

Anyone Can Run…..

Apr15

Anyone can run. Really. Unless there is a medical reason, anyone can run. Not everyone likes to run. I know that too being someone who used to say she hated running. Although in retrospect it isn’t that I hated running. It was more that I had never given running a chance. So I unequivocally state again that anyone can run. That being said, there is a difference between just running and running well. This is the crossroads that I am at now. I’ve been running for a while now and I’ve gotten to the point that I might just want to run well.

Now I am not saying that I want to move to the top of the Pack or become a leading Master runner. I am saying that I think it might be time to take my running up a notch. Take it the the next level. Right now, I’ve been following generic training plans for specific events. I will say these have been amazingly helpful and I’ve learned from them. I know that without my Runner’s World Hat Trick Specific Training Plan that I would not have been able to run those events as well as I did. Online training plans are wonderful and will get you where you need to go. My problem that I am encountering and is starting to freak me out a bit is that I need to form my plan to start training for the Marine Corps Marathon while being prepared for other events. I seem to be going a few different directions at once.

Case in Point….

Running many events of different distances for the 9 plus 1 plan
Training for the Iron Girl Sprint Triathlon
Training for the Marine Corps Marathon and the final hill at the end of it.

Now I would have no problem following a plan on my own to train for one of these events, but I’m really having a problem wrapping my head around training for all of them at once. Probably because I don’t know what I’m doing and have no background in this field. Yes, I read my Runner’s World, Running Times and such but I’ve really been only running since I finished my first Tri in September of 2013. I’m in a bit of a quandary. I know I need to train. I know that both the Tri and the marathon will require serious training with the marathon only being a month after the Tri, I will need to train for them at the same time. That being said, I need to figure out how to train without over training, without causing injury, and without causing burnout. That is where a running coach might just be what I need.

I used to think that a Running Coach would be reserved for the “serious athlete.” The top of the Pack athlete. The career athlete. I used to think that a Stay-at-Home Mom wouldn’t need a Running Coach. What would the point be? Then I realized what the point would be? The point would be that they know what they are doing. The point would be that they can help me reach my goals. The point would be that they can help generate a plan just for me. Just like I’ve hired a Personal Trainer at the gym in the past, a Running Coach can help put me on the right path for running smartly. To help me run well. A Running Coach can help me reach my potential while at the same time giving me the skills that I will need to get to the end of the road all in one piece.

This is where I am now. I’ve started process. I have not hired a coach yet, but have contacted one to see her thoughts. Surprisingly, the cost is not as high as I thought it would be. To be honest, the monthly cost is cheaper than hiring a Personal Trainer for two sessions. Plus the coach that I am looking at has different packages depending upon my need. I don’t pay a gym membership right now and can justify the cost too. Although the biggest justification of the cost will be the peace of mind it will bring me.

Even though I have not hired a coach yet and am still investigating, just the thought of it is easing the stress. I am days away from turning 46. I am a Stay-at-Home Mom. I am a middle of the Pack runner. I have much to learn about the art of running and training. Bottom line is that I was wrong. A Running Coach is for an athlete at any level and I am worth it.

Do you have a Running Coach??

Have you ever had one?

The Accidentally Running Mama

Run, Bike, Swim and Have a Life!

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