I got two wake up calls today when checking my email.   The first email was from my Tri-Woman group listing upcoming events counting down to the Iron Girl Sprint which is in 18 days!   I’ve been so focused on my Hat Trick that I’ve let off the gas a little on my Tri training except, of course, for the running.   I haven’t stopped, just slowed down.   I think it might be time to pick up the training pace.   That is after today’s rest day.

Then I got another email.   This one from Runner’s World there is only 8 weeks till that event too!!   Ahhhhhhh.   I was so focused on getting the kids ready for school I wasn’t paying attention to how quickly these things were coming.   Although, 8 weeks is a lot longer to prepare than 18 days.

At this point, I have to go with one of my favorite catch phrases,

“It is what it is.”

I am as ready as I can be fro my Tri.   I’ve done the swim lessons all year at the local YMCA.   Swim lessons that will pick up once the kids are back in school. (As a side note, I think every adult who only learned to swim at their Grammy’s pool should take swim lessons.   It’s amazing to realize that you’ve been doing it all wrong your entire life).

I’ve put my miles in on my bike.   I’ve obviously been putting in the running miles.   I’m so thankful that I had the NJ State Tri in July because it kept me motivated.   The problem was that afterwards, I may have lost some of that Mojo.   I’m going to find it though.   I can’t back down now.

Last year when I did the Iron Gril Triathlon.   I did it with a bunch of friends who became better friends   We had a GREAT time.   On the way there at 4:30 in the morning, we were blasting Katy Perry’s song Roar.  We claimed it as our theme song.

  We were all nervous and excited as we were all in in for the first time.    This is one of the reasons it was such a great day.   When it was time to sign up again, a few of us did right away.   How could we not after the thrill of it.

When it came time to get ready and train.

I was the only one excited.

They wanted to back out.   They thought once might just be enough and Lisa had already done three so she was good.   They didn’t drink the kool-aid like I did.  I talked three of them into creating a relay team instead of doing it as an individual.   This way they could all participate and not feel the pressure of training for the whole thing.      Once they realized that they could all just do a portion of it, they were on board!!   They decided to name their team, “Christine Made Us do it.”     I pointed out that I was not making them do anything.   I was just that little nagging voice inside them that was telling them they could do it if they tried.

So now in 18 days, we are going to roar again.

More often than I care to admit, I wonder what the hell I’m doing.   I don’t think I’m alone in allowing the doubt to creep in.   Then again maybe I am.   Am I?  There are days when I’m training where maybe I’m having an off day.   Maybe it’s too hot..  Maybe it’s too cold.  Maybe my foot hurts.  Maybe I didn’t get enough sleep or enough fuel (AKA food).  Maybe I’m just wondering what the Hell I’m doing.  The trick is not to let these days define me.   Not to let one bad run, race, swim or bike ride stop me.   It’s easy to stop.   It’s much harder to come back and even harder to live with the regrets.   Therefore, I keep plugging along.

I know I’m not alone in my self doubts. (I hope)   I’m not sure if its a gender thing, but more than likely it is.   I was talking to a friend whose been running on her treadmill for a while now.  She started running outside and is making the adjustment from treadmill running to outside running because it’s different, very different!   I was talking to her about my MRTT group.     She liked the idea, but felt the need to do more on her own first.   I pointed out that it was like getting in shape to start going to a gym.   We both chuckled, but her idea wasn’t so far fetched.   Silly, yes; but also understandable.

I wonder if men think the same way.   I think for the most part no.   Men are not brought up with such body issues and self-doubt.   I would like to say things are changing, but they really are changing very slowly.   I wonder if as much Photoshopping is done on male models as is done on female models.   Probably, not.  I know only the females in the media have their looks, attitudes and words  dissected even if they are not in the “entertainment business” much more than men.

I wish I could have the confidence in myself as my 7 year old son has in me.   We were reading Geronimo Stilton -The Race Across America last night.   In it they described the most challenging races in the world.   We read how the Ironman World Championship they swim 2.4 miles, bike 112, and run 26.2 miles.  I commented how hard that would be.   He looked at me so lovingly and said, “But you could do it, mom.”   The beauty besides the fact that he has no idea of what he is talking about is that he REALLY, REALLY meant it.   In my son’s eyes, his mom is that impressive.   I have to remind myself of that next time I let the doubts creep in.

So maybe (ok, no maybe), I will never be an Ironman.   That’s ok though because I’m doing enough.   I’m teaching my children by example that they can do anything that they put their mind to.   I’m teaching my them that it is ok for a woman to be strong and follow the things she wants to do.  We are all Rock Stars in someone’s eyes.   Every now and then, we need to look at ourselves not through our see every fault eyes, but the eyes of someone who sees all that we can be and actually are.   Sometimes it’s good to put the rose colored glasses on.

So I’ve got to get out of my own way.   I’ve got to take the chances to make myself better, stronger, and faster than I was the day before.   And if I don’t make the mark every time, that’s ok. As long as I didn’t give up and as long as I continued to try, I can be satisfied that I gave it my all.   Because some days trying is all that a person can do.

I really have never given my feet much thought until recently.    I never gave them much thought, because I have bad feet.    How can I have bad feet?   Well first of all, I am all of 5′ 2″ and I wear a size 8. Not a petite foot for someone my size.   Then there is the fact that I have dry feet.   Not your normal dry feet, but the overly dry cracked kind of feet that you get with eczema.   Top that off with the fact that my Big Toe isn’t my biggest toe and you’ve got the perfect storm for a foot that is destined not to shine.

Now I think about my feet.   I think about them a lot.   Instead of the occasional pedicure with a friend, I consider that an important part of my training.    Yes, it is a luxury but for someone with lovely feet like me,  it really is a necessity.   How can I do any of the events that I want to do if my feet aren’t ready too?   In between pedicures, I also make sure take care of them as well.   Not ignore the dry cracked toes because when you are asking so much of your feet, you want Happy Feet.

Now having the second toe bigger than the big toe has never really been a problem for me, other than being a little embarrassed about it.    But in researching why I might be having discomfort (and in discomfort, I mean pain that caused me to stop at mile 6 yesterday to massage my foot for a minute) in that foot at the base of my toes and ball of my foot as I’m upping my millage, I found that it actually has a name.  Morton’s toe or Royal Toe.   Ipersonally  think I will go with the Royal Toe because I always thought I belonged in Windsor’s Castle but I digress.

Quote from Wikeipedia – “the most common symptom experienced due to Morton’s toe is callusing and /or discomfort of the ball of the foot at the base of the second toe. The first metatarsal head would normally bear the majority of a person’s body weight during the propulsive phases of gait, but because the second metatarsal head is farthest forward, the force is transferred there.”

Ding, Ding, Ding, we have a winner!   Ok, this really isn’t good news but maybe this can help.   It was suggested to me that my gait might be off and we could work on correcting it.   Do I have a solution?    No, not yet but I’m working on it.   I will find a way to make this work.   I’ve come to far in this to let a little thing like a toe bring me down:)

Today was my long run.   The whole goal of the run was to run on tired legs after running 4 miles on Friday and 6 yesterday at “Half Marathon” pace (still working that one out).   Then today, I was in for the long haul.   Running 9 miles.   The catch for today was to run at 2 to 3 minutes slower than I normally run.   Seems easy enough until you get out there.   I by no means consider myself a fast runner.   Not saying that there aren’t times when I don’t have a good pace, but I am not a fast runner.   But intentionally slowing yourself down is a whole different thing.

For my goal pace today, I was guestimating  to run about 12 minute miles.   I ended up with an overall average pace of 11:11.   That got me thinking, how slow should I go.   I don’t know what my goal pace for my half should be.   Yes, I did a half with a great time of 2:09:24, but I’m not sure that that wasn’t just a fluke.   Plus the day I’m running this half that I’m training for is the day after running both a 5K and 10K.    So how am I supposed to know what I should pick as my goal pace?   I keep thinking, I should pick a pace that will keep me under 2:30.   Honestly, though as long as I can finish all three races my time doesn’t matter.   Ok, maybe a little:)

I’ve go to learn for me to set the pace.   Control the run.   I’m getting better, but it’s a new concept for me.  Hopefully, as I follow this training plan I can master controlling my pace.  You wouldn’t think it would be hard to run slower than normal, but it actually goes against the grain.   When you’re out on the road and your feet are hitting the pavement, your instinct is just to go with it.   I don’t mean going at an all our sprint, but just to push it a little.   I’ve got to learn how to control the run or I won’t be finishing anything.

I never thought of running as a mental sport.   That is until I started running.

For the most part, I am a solitary runner.   Not to say that every run is alone, but more than not I am on my own.   Now don’t feel sorry for me, I really do enjoy the peace and quiet.   As a mother of three boys, I don’t get a lot of quiet time.   My runs are time not to have to think about anything if I choose not to.   Most of the time, my only thought is just to breath, keep my shoulders down, and keep my feet moving.  You know what, I love it.   I love putting my music on and heading out the door.   I love not to have to think about anything.    It is a wonderful feeling to shut off your mind and clear the cob webs.

That being said, I am not a hermit and I do have some lovely ladies that I occasionally run with too.   These runs are different, but a good different.   It usually is more about chatting the miles away.    These runs are about building friendships, keeping each other motivated, and what ever get us through the runs.   These types of runs are also important as they do help keep the motivation up.   Usually you end up talking about what your run schedule is, what your next event is, and how things are working.    As a newbie, I’ve learned so much.

Now today, I got to run with a group.   It’s a Mom’s running group,Mom’s Run This Town (MRTT).   This was not just a normal weekend run.   We had a starting and finish line, clock, goodie bags, and even a medal.   So fun.   So different!   So inspiring!  A 10K, but without the pressure of a normal race.    These runs and this group are just as important.   I honestly, do not think if I had not been added to this group by a friend that I would be as motivated as I am today.   This group is filled with woman of different running levels that come together to support each other.   That cheer each other on.   That give advice when asked and are not only willing but happy to share their knowledge with you.   So lucky to have found them.

When I first started on my path to train for my first Triathlon in 2013, I wrote a post Go Big or Go Home.   I was just starting my training and didn’t run that day because it was raining and I didn’t want to start on a rainy day.   I’ve run in the rain now.   I’ve run in very cold weather.   I’ve also run in really hot weather.   Not much stops me now.   My sister commented on this post and I thought she was insane and I told her so.

Jen said, “You will get addicted. You will sign up for another race that very day. Mark my words. Is it crazy? Yes. But why break the family trend. I trained for a 13.2 mile half marathon in 6 weeks, when I’d never run more than a mile. It’s mental. In more way than one, but can be done. PROUD OF YOU!!!”

Ok, I admit it.   She was right.   In 2014 I plan to complete at least 2 Triathlons, 2 Half Marathons, 2 10K’s, a bunch of 5K’s.   In this list of races I include my Hat Trick.    I drank the Kool-aid.   I am addicted.    I plan to add more in 2015.   I am the insane one.

I ended my previous post wondering what was going to keep me motivated when it was all over.   I never imagined that I would continue.   But I don’t think I would be where I am today in my training and in my races without the MRTT group.   I never would have had the courage to think I could run a Half Marathon.  There is something to be said to surround yourself with like minded people.   People who will encourage you to push your limits because they are also pushing theirs.

Mama got a new pair of shoes!    Shoes mean a whole different thing when you are training.    If you ask a “serious” runner how many shoes they have, they know your not asking about pumps!   I further will bet that most have more than one pair.   Compared to my running friends, I probably am a shoe lightweight.   I’ve only got 4 pair.   That being said, the only reason that I have so many is that I don’t get rid of my “old” ones when I get new shoes.    I keep for different purposes.   Some become my Crossfit shoes although, I do sometimes have to remove them for  certain lifts.   Some become my trail shoes and some are just my backup shoes.

Now I can dream about the day that I have enough money in the bank to buy specialized crossfit shoes, specialized trail shoes, winter running shoes, biking shoes and a whole closet of different shoes.   Until such a day happens, I will have to work with what I’ve got.   Now even though I can’t have a closet full of shoes, I do have to make sure that the pair that I put the most miles on is not only a good shoe, but a good fit.   More than likely you are not going to find that shoe in your local Department Store.   Now don’t get me wrong, I love my local Kohls for day to day stuff but specialized shoes is not what they are known for.

So how do you know what the right shoe and fit for you is?    You could Google it and loose half your day or week reading reviews and researching it.   Even then, you more than likely will not know.    The best way to get the right shoe is go to the right store.   Find your local store where they have people who know what they are talking about.   I love my local Running Store.   The kind of store that will have you run on a treadmill to watch how your feet land.   This will help them lead you to the right shoe for your feet.    Yes, your shoe will be more expensive than the chain store, but it doesn’t have to break the bank.   

The bottom line is that your feet are going to take A LOT of pounding.    As you ramp up the miles, you need to make sure that your feet will be comfy enough to handle the load.    Think about it according to the American Academy of Podiatric Sports Medicine on a run your feet hit the ground at a force three to four times your body weight each step.   Damn, I don’t want to do the math on that, but that is a lot I am putting my poor feet through.    Today I went on a 4 mile run.   There are approximately 5,280 feet in a mile.  So just this morning I pounded my feet approximately 21,120 times four times my body weight which is not your concern:)  

Be kind to your feet.   Spring for the good shoes.   It will be cheaper in the long run (no pun intended) than it will be to have to go see one of those Poditrists because you injured your foot wearing the wrong shoes. 

Perfect example:

These are good running shoes

These are good dancing shoes

If you want to be able to use your dancing shoes, make sure that you use the right running shoes:)

When I first got off the couch and as the saying goes decided that I needed to make a change, I went full force.  I joined a gym and almost immediately started with a Bootcamp class.   It wasn’t long afterwards that I signed up for my first Triathlon and then switched from Bootcamp to Crossfit.   So it was game on.   Training in one shape or form almost every day.   There is a satisfaction in completing an intense workout in knowing you pushed yourself to the limit.    I like that feeling.   I like it a lot.

I’ve also got to realize though that I am a woman in my mid 40’s who has  family to take care of.   I know part of the way that I take care of them is by doing the things that I need to do to take care of me.   If Mommy is happy, everyone can be happy:)   I need the release that I get fro an intense workout be it with Crossfit, running, biking, or Bikram Yoga.   That being said, I am SLOWLY starting to realize that all those articles that I read on giving your body Recovery Days really isn’t a waste.   To me a recovery day was a wasted day.    That isn’t true.  My brain knows it, but my brawn doesn’t.   I’m not sure how I got to the point where I started thinking that taking one day off from training makes me a couch potato.  The reality is that my body needs that day.

Every training plan I’ve looked at and every trainer I’ve had said the same thing.   You need to give your self more than one day off a week.   There was a time where I was pushing it everyday to the max – Crossfit 4 days a week, Bikrham Yoga 2 days, running here and there, swimming, and biking too.    The reality is that I loved that schedule.   Was it a practical schedule for a Stay at Home Mom with lots of other commitments?   No.    Was it good for my body to push it so hard?   Probably not.    I’m learning.   I don’t necessarily like it though.  I’m adjusting.

I think what has really helped me reign in my over training is summer.   The kids are home.   We’ve got things to do.   Fun things.   So I’ve had to readjust.   I’ve had to evaluate.   I’ve had to change.   I also think that now I have a training plan to follow.   I have a focus.  I will learn to respect the rest day because on the non-rest days I am pushing my body to the limit.   That is enough.

An early morning run is sadly a necessary evil at least now and then.  I am by no means an early person by nature.   I am a night owl.   I can stay up till 2:00 AM for the most part no problem, but ask me to get up for an early run and I’m in pain just thinking about it.   Waking up at 5:30 to put on my running shoes just seems crazy to me.   But as a Mom with a life that needs to be lived (even if it’s just going to Costco) , the morning run might happen more than I would like.

Don’t get me wrong, the morning run has its perks like going out, stopping for coffee, and being back home before anyone even stirs at home.   As a Mom that’s a great thing, but now I’m getting lattes with an extra turbo shot to keep me awake.   Although who am I kidding, I would be getting them anyway.   At least on days with an early run I have an excuse.

To get me motivated and out the door at such an unholy hour though, I need motivation.   Not just the motivation of getting a run in either.   It helps to have a partner in crime.   Someone willing to drive by and pick you up is even better.   Knowing that someone is depending on you to get out of bed or it will mess their run up too is very motivating.   It’s one thing to mess up your training, but another to mess with someone else.  I’m sure not everyone needs this, but I usually do.  

I think another key to the earl morning run that I am not ready to commit to is to be on a schedule.  Maybe when summer is over, I can do that.   For now, I am not willing to go to bed earlier than my teenage sons just to get up early to train.  I usually somehow manage to fit it in to my normal day.   When school starts and everyone is going to bed earlier I hope to develop a better routine.   As with everything else is life and training, consistency is key.   When you do it often enough, it becomes second nature.   Not so bad.   Maybe one day, I will even learn to embrace mornings but I wouldn’t bet on it!

And as much as I complained about getting up so early (5:15), once I was up, laced up, and out the door; I had a great morning.   I had a great run.   I had some great conversations.   And best of all when it was all said and done, I had coffee with a friend.

Before I was a runner, I didn’t understand what this meant.   Even when I first started running, I really didn’t understand what it meant.    I think I’m finally getting to the point where I understand what it means to me.  Running on the surface seems like such a simple sport.   You put one foot in front of another and off you go.   But there is so much more to it that that.

I will say that I’m still rapping my head around the fact that I’m a runner.   I would never envision that that word would ever apply to me.   There are days, times, moments, and runs that I still don’t think it does.   When I see and read what other runners are doing, I think “well I’m not in the same league, so I’m not a runner.”   That is where I need to stop the doubts in my head because they aren’t true.

Running is truly an individual sport.   Yes, you can go to events and compete against others but the bottom line is that you are competing with yourself.   It is only human nature (or at least mine) to compare, but I am learning to stop myself.    As the saying goes,…….

There is truth to this and ever runner needs to remind them of this now and then.

As I spend more time in my running shoes, I am learning to Respect the Run.   To respect the run is to respect my body.   To listen to it and know that not every run has to be perfect.   Not every run needs to be run at full force.   There are days where horror to horror (kidding) it is best to slow it down.    Respect the run.   Respect it enough to know that some days you are running for miles.    Respect the Run.   Some days you are running for training.   Respect the Run.  Some days are even about speed. Respect the Run.    But the best days are when you are running just for the enjoyment of it.

Respect the Run but never forget to take a moment and also enjoy the beauty of it.   Yes, there is beauty in putting one foot in front of another.

Respect the Run.