Do you know where you’re going to?
Do you like what life is showing you?
Do you know?
These are lyrics to a Diana Ross song from the 70’s.
Do you remember it?
This chorus has stuck with me. It’s been stuck in my head lately.
Last week a running friend lost her battle with cancer. She was a warrior. Not just in her battle with cancer but in life. She took on all the challenges that life gave her with a smile (and great nails)> Not only did she take on challenges, but she crushed them. She surpassed them and just embraced all that life offered and then some. We always talked about meeting up to run, but we never got around to it.
Besides her smile, what you would notice most about Melissa was her absolute joy for life. The way she embraced it. Pushed herself. Running marathons. Training. Pushing herself. Never complaining about the obsticles in her path and always looking for ways to overcome them. She truly was a warrior, but most of all she was a good human being. The world needs more people like her and she will be missed.
This same week, I had another friend have a very serious medical issue and we weren’t sure where things would go. It makes a person think.
Control is an illusion in life. We like to think that we are in charge of our destination, but we only control so much. We like to think that we can micromanage…. That our decisions determine the outcome…… That everything is in our power…… That is the lie we tell ourselves.
The bigger lie though is that nothing we do matters. We have no control, so see where the universe takes us kind of thing. Since everything is out of our control, we can just see where the chips fall and react and deal with things. Although as I’ve said before, sometimes how we react is more important than any plan we may have. That being said, while the bigger things in life our out of our control…. There is much in it.
Some people deal with lack of control by trying to micromanage. Trying to control everything. Some let it all blow in the wind. Most of us fall in between and sometimes sway between the two extremes. We do all of these things because the thought of having zero control is scary. More scary than any monster we can dream of or horror movie we can watch. (For the record, I don’t watch horror movies because I am a big chicken).
So I’ve been thinking……. What can I control? How can I get where I want to go if I am no longer sure where I want to go? I have a running blog right now without much running? I am on a fitness journey without much fitness. I am tired all the time and no amount of sleep can fix it. I wake up like grandma again thanks to no longer having my Natpara. I pop pills all day just to get to the end of the day (these are for my Hypoparthyroidism…. I do not have any other issues!) I need to reevaluate. I need to reassess. Most of all I need to actually stop floating along and actually think where I am going. Maybe if I do that I can get that song with the 70’s music out of my head.
Do you know where your going to?
The Accidentally Running Mama 
I am so sorry for the loss of your friend and the health issues of the other. The death of someone close to you does tend to make you feel like you have no control over the things that mean the most to you. I hope you can figure out your path from here. I agree, that the little things we do, and can control, make a huge difference in life. We may not be able to control sickness, disease, and death, but we can make healthy choices and, more importantly, show kindness to all we meet. When my husband died, I remember clearly thinking one day how much I wish I could have done something. The answer came as clear as if someone had actually spoken the words, “You did do something. You loved him.”
I am glad that you heard what you needed to hear even if those words were not physically spoken. There is truth and healing power in that.