I try to keep this blog drama free if you will.
I try to keep it sole focus on my fitness journey, but as I’ve said a time ore two before..
Running does not take place in a bubble
The outside world has a real effect not just on our time, but it effects us mentally too. Running is usually a way to release tension, give time to think, and often time to get away from thinking. It is time that I admit that part of my lack of wanting to run is not physical but mental. Same reason I’ve been ignoring my blog because that means that I have to think about all that is keeping me from getting out the door.
What happens when you feel like none of it matters? What is the point of running XYZ race? What happens when you have no desire to push it because you think , “What is the point?”
I’m not sure.
There is just so much rain right now. I’ve been in worse weather and survived. I have no doubt that I am strong enough to survive this one too, but I’m drenched right now. This is just a thunderstorm and I’m trying to figure out how to open my umbrella when the reality is that I need a raincoat.
I keep reminding myself that the only thing that anyone has control over is themselves and how they react to the world and people around them. It is with this knowledge that I am pushing forward. People will never be who you want them to be. The world will never be the way you think it should be. This is the reality of the world. This is the reality of my life.
I can’t let these things stop me from my journey. I can’t keep these things from finding joy in things that I found joy in before.
Right now I don’t want to do anything. I really don’t. I also don’t like that feeling. I miss wanting to wake up and push myself to go for a run. To push my body. To push my limits. I miss it. I want it back.
Right now though I don’t have the fire that I had. So what I am going to push myself to do is something that I really am not a fan of.
I’m going streaking.
I think this is what I need right now.
I will do it my own way as always. I am going to go a minimum of a mile every day. I will even count a mile walk, but a mile it must be. My goal is for at least a month. I will let you know how it goes.
This is more than just reclaiming my fitness too. It is reclaiming a part of me that has gone missing.
Running does not take place in a bubble.
Life does not take place in a bubble.
Embrace it all.
Accept it all.