Before I started marathon training with Caolan, I would have been very happy with today’s run. On face value, my run looks good. The problem is I have been training and running long enough that I am very disappointing in it.
Yes, on face value this is a very nice run. The problem is that this is not the run I was supposed to do today. I was supposed to do what my coach calls a cut-down AKA as a tempo run. I was prepared for this run. I had the perfect route mapped out which was relatively flat. I had my paces written out, water bottles filled, and Garmin actually charged.
Yup, on paper it seemed like I was ready to go. The problem was that I needed to get out of my own head yet again. I’ve been hitting my paces on my normal runs but for some reason when it comes to my cut-downs I think I freak myself out. These paces just seem too fast for me and I think that I choke and stall on my run (yet again).
Today the heat came back and I should have gone out for my run early. The problem was that I have been getting out early a lot lately and I was still recovering from my early than earlier volunteer position. Then I had to take my son somewhere this morning at 8:30 not getting back and ready to run till 9:30. I should have scrubbed the run and done a blinkie run, but I thought I still had time to beat the heat. It really wasn’t that hot yet and I went for it.
I started off ok with the exception of my damn quads (yes, still). I stopped once I warmed up a little to stretch them and my hip flexors which also seemed to be in need of some stretching as well. Then it went down hill from there. I kept going, stopping, and going. Once I hit mile 5, I had a planned stop for a convenience store to get water. I opted for Gatorade hoping for a miracle.
At this point, my pace was better, but not on target which I had already given up on hitting. I stopped watching my watch and scrubbed the run as a cut-down. I had nothing to do but think about all the things that went wrong with this run, what I could do in the future, and wondering why I was doing this in the first place. My main conclusion was that I really just talked myself out of being able to hit the paces before I even gave myself a chance to hit them. I need to figure out how to not let these runs mess with my mind. It’s a work in progress.
I also thought about how even though I have run a marathon last year, this is the first time actually marathon training. I think that since I am not following a generic training plan but a plan designed for me; I know that I should be able to do the things assigned to me. I know that my coach knows what she’s doing. I know she wouldn’t be giving me these paces if she didn’t think I could hit them especially since I have hit them in the past. So I have to figure this out.
Tomorrow is another day.
Tomorrow is another run.
I won’t give up. I will roll my quads. I will stretch. I will do what I need to do. What I won’t do is give up.