So it’s a rainy day here. Perfect day to give an update. Grab your coffee. Settle in and let’s catch up!

People often look at where you without knowing what it took to get there. People look at what your doing and possible think that you could do more, but have no idea what it takes to do what your doing.

Here is the thing……. It doesn’t matter what people think.

Really.

Honestly.

The ONLY thing that matters is what you think about your journey. What you know. Only you.

Does that sound harsh? Maybe.

Is it the truth. You bet.

Even those who understand, love and support can only understand so much. Often because we don’t lay it all at their feet, because really who does that? Wait…. Do people do that???

We often hear this refrain (and honestly, I have used it too)……

Yes this is motivating! Yes, I have used this in my day to prepare for events….. Yes, there is a place for it, but but, but……..

Here is the flip side.

Many times…. Many people…… Often……. People will just go home. Going to a gym, being part of a running group, watching people post where the only thought is a take no prisoners approach, or going on about their “slow” run which is faster than your fastest run can be defeating. It will often make people want to take their ball and go home.

Now should those who are going balls to the wall not post, share, of have the approach they have….. NOT AT ALL! They are in a different space and they should get to celebrate that. Here’s the thing though, those who are not in that space due to physical limitations, just starting out or just not there should also celebrate where they are.

Don’t equate someone’s pace or what they do with someone’s determination. Sometimes just showing up proves that. Showing up is the hardest thing to do and showing up for ourselves is even harder sometimes. When things aren’t going the way you plan or expect; it is often easier to walk away than dig your heals in to turn things around. Sometimes that turnabout will take you in a new direction, but that’s also ok.

What the Hell does that mean for me…….

Well as I’ve said, I don’t plan to run anything longer than a 10k, although I might do half (maybe). I have stepped back and so far this year, I have been running an event every month this year. Started year with trail 10k and have done 5K’s these last three months.

My reasoning has been both complicated and simple…….

It’s just too hard on my body to run the longer distances. Yes, I can do them but that requires adding extra calcium and sometimes calcitol. It lets me run further and faster, but it is hard on my body. I have taken three 24 hour urine calcium tests this last year without changing my medication. With each test, my urine calcium levels have been rising while my serum (blood) calcium levels have remained low (not good).

When I made the decision about lowering my milage, I felt like I was being a failure. That I was giving up. That I was being soft on myself. I made and came to this decision on my own without input for my endocrinologist as she never seemed as concerned as me. But then I had a change of Endocrinologists…. One who actually specializes in Hypoparathyroidism. One I saw years ago when I was on Natpara, but stopped seeing because it was too hard to get into city to see her. Since Covid though, tela appointments are a viable option. One that I hope they don’t take away.

Anywho….

Not only have I now seen her for my personal Hypopara needs, but she has validated my choices. She agrees that for now, this is the right course of action because we need to keep my levels in check. Currently they are 357 but when I first started the Hypopara journey keeping my serum levels in the normal range which allowed me to go on as business as usual my levels were 578! These last few years with the exception of when I was on hormone replacement therapy (Natpara) I have hovered in the 300’s…. For reference, 250 is considered high

Now all this being said, she has also said that there is hope as there are newer hormone replacement therapies coming and I would be a good candidate. So we shall see and wait and dream.

As a side note, I have also gone in to begin my participation in a 3 year study on how Hypoparathyroidism effects the body. Since it is a rare disorder, this is a collection of much needed information. The beginning of the study required 5 hours of testing . It included cognitive tests where I walked away feeling like an idiot, ECK, bone density scans , and brain and abdomen scans looking for calcium calcifications and lab work. It was very comprehensive and informative as the results were shared with me:). Happy to report, other than labs and bone density that everything came back positive.

Honestly it was a big relief:). So with that knowledge I want to keep it that way!

The flip side to all this positivity thou is that my Endo said that she knows that running is important to me and our goal will be to get me to a place where I can run longer distances again without it being harder than normal….. so the downside is that I will be out of excuses when that happens. Ha!

So if you have made it this far, you are somewhat caught up and thank you for coming on this journey with me:)