Giving into the Stillness

I admit it….. I am a sucker for Air Supply and like people who don’t admit it, I can probably sing along to most songs.   I also enjoy me some vintage Ozzy Osborne  and  a lot in between the two genres.

I am a complicated woman.    I am sensitive enough to cry at a movie while at the same time be willing to fight tooth and nail for something I am passionate about (some might refer to that by a name that starts with a B).     I cherish my family while being distant from some members.    I will go to bat for friends while having lost touch with others.     I have a blog called Accidentally Running Mama while currently not even running.   It is just life and we are all complicated individuals.   Those that are 2 dimensional are usually either boring or fake.

Here’s the thing.    I am all of these things and so much more.    I don’t pretend to be something I am not.  I am real even if I don’t put it all out there, but I pretty much put enough out there anyway. As we grow, we evolve we change.  We learn.   Sometimes we move on.    Sometimes we hold on.   Sometimes we don’t even realize that things change until we reflect.   Life is ever changing.   We are ever changing.    If you are unwilling to change, you are unwilling to try anything new.

Since I’ve started my fitness journey in 2014, I’ve tried lots of things.     I started on just going to a gym.   Then added HIT (High Intensity Training).    Then a killer personal trainer.   Then upped it to Crossfit (LOVED IT).    Spent a lot of time practicing Hot Yoga (another big fan).   Some more HIT classes.   Had an amazing Running Coach.   Biked.   Swam.  (yes, those were mostly because I was doing Triathlons and cross training for running).    I’ve done lots of running (lots).   Now I am just walking.

I tried all of these things because I was willing to go out of my comfort zone.   I will say that as much as I loved Crossfit, I don’t think I physically could do it now (plus it is also such an intense type of workout mentally and I am not there anymore).   I probably could not take the heat of Hot Yoga anymore either as it probably would cause me to sweat out too much calcium.  Some of the other things I would love to do again and just may.   Then again having 2 kids now in college the disposable income for things like that is not what it used to be but I digress.    Anyway, I did all of these things because I was willing to open myself up to new experiences.    Actually if I wasn’t willing to try something new, I would never have signed up for my first event and remained on the couch

Being  willing to open myself up to something new has brought me to my 30 Days of Yoga with Adriene and walking.   When I first started walking, I thought that I was giving up something but remained committed to it even when I felt like I should do more.   I ended up walking more than 100 miles in July.    If I was running, I am not sure that I could have done that.  I have also been walking my minimum of a mile a day since June 21 and for right now I have no intention of stopping. This is working for me and I plan to continue through August.

By embracing the walking while at the same time embarking on a 30 day yoga challenge, I’ve learned a few things.    To be honest I wasn’t sure what to expect…. maybe learn to properly do some new poses.   To gain strength, flexibility and a better yoga foundations.   I have gained those things and more.  With daily yoga practice coupled with a daily walk, I am realizing that while I am gaining all the things I mentioned above that I am learning to trust the stillness (oh there she goes sounding all yogi again).   Here me out.

I am learning (still a work in progress) that I don’t need to push myself to the limit all the time.    That sometimes it is unnecessary and not only not what my body needs but not the right thing for it. I have learned that small changes can bring about big changes if given enough time to marinate.   I’ve learned that my body while not balanced can have balance.    I have been enjoying giving into a yoga practice with no expectations other than showing up to my mat ever day or in my case my garage with YouTube.  I have been enjoying my daily walks with no expectations but to get out the door. I’ve learned that just because I am walking does not mean that I am out for a Sunday stroll.   I’ve learned that it is all relative.

Today I went for a 5 mile walk.    I put on a Podcast and off I went. I feel just like a 30 day yoga is giving me a foundation for future yoga practice that my walking will give me the foundation that I need for future running. Since my surgery I kept pushing. Guessing where I thought I could be while never being in touch where it actually was. I am Embracing who I am now and not who I was in the past.

This is who I am today. Embracing the stillness with no expectations but just to show up is sometimes all you need to do so that everything can fall into place.

How do you show up?

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