Today marks the official beginning of my NYC Marathon training. 18 weeks till I step up to the starting line and I am a hot mess. Today on this hot 85 plus degree day, I went for my first run. It was a short run at only 3 miles, but for me for now that might also be a long run. I intentionally kept the pace slow as I’m trying to work on regaining control of my pace. That being said, I really haven’t been running much and as already said it was hot. Oh did I mention, I’m also out of shape. Although round is a shape, so maybe I’m just a shape shifter.

There might be some people who start marathon training thinking this is going to be great, that they are ready for running and training, or that they’ve got this. I am not one such person. I went out for my run which I pushed off as long as I could. Then I doubted my sanity for doing this, but kept going and got it done.

The reality is that this is the beginning of marathon training. Day 1. If I was ready to run a marathon at the beginning of the training cycle, I should be training for something bigger, longer, or faster. As they say, if running a marathon was easy, everyone would do it and isn’t the point of the next 18 weeks to prepare me to actually run said marathon.

The mental training for a marathon and life also begins immediately. Self-doubt if left unchecked will creep in. Like a weed, it will start small and if not plucked out will take over everything destroying all in it’s path. Doubt grows quicker than confidence which really isn’t fair. So I am working at keeping the doubt in check and building the confidence. I know that every run won’t be great but with each mile checked off the list I am one step closer.

For today this is enough. My goal is to run a good race this year. To find what my body can do with my new medication. To be kind to myself, but also push myself at the same time. Another delicate balancing act that I will work on with everything else

It will be what it will be and that is enough

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