Things that are worthwhile take work. They take time. They take investment. Sometimes in life we put things on autopilot…
relationships, work, exercise, eating habits, ect.
And while in the short term that may be fine, I think we all know in the long run it is not healthy or does that work out. You become out of touch. After a while you are just go through the motions. Then you begin to wonder why you are going through the motions. That’s where I was with my running. I lost touch with why I started running. Why I continued to run and most of all what I got out of running. It was never about being the fastest, running the furthest, or even about the medals hanging on the wall. While I admit that all of those things are fun to strive for they were never the reason that I started, pushed myself, and did what I did.
I lost that. I was so concerned with going through the motions…… trying to maintain certain paces, trying to run certain distances, and trying to do runs that it no longer worked for me. I lost touch with knowing what and how I should push myself and because of that I had (for now) unrealistic expectations of what I should be doing. I was Violet from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory stamping my feet expecting things to be the way I wanted them still because I wanted them to be that way.
We all know that’s not the way life works. Being out of step with your own self and your own body and pretending your not is exhausting. But when I stepped back, slowed down, and pushed the ego to the side; things became not only more clear but more fun. While I admit, I still have problems keeping my ego in check, I am getting better. By reconnecting my mind with the body, I am rediscovering why I started running. I no longer see people running on the streets and think poor them. I think, what a great day to be running. I am starting to think outside the box again, but I am keeping myself in check and not putting the cart before the horse.
The C25K program has forced me to step back and reconnect with where my body is today and not where I want it to be. Allowing myself to run with no expectations but to finish the run. No paces. No distances. Just follow the plan. I have just finished up week 7 of the program where I am running for 25 minutes. It is hard. I must push myself. I run slow, but I am pleased with the progress. I feel like I am learning what now works for me now. Most of all, I am doing it.
I am learning how to push myself for where I am today not yesterday. To notice the subtle differences is how I feel when pushing the pace. To know that a pace that is hard today was once easy and that’s ok too. What my body needs to recover which I will talk about another day. I’m learning that the saying your race, your pace is true even when not racing. I’ve still got a lot of kinks to work out, but I’ll get there. The difference is that I know that I won’t get there overnight. As the saying goes, all good things come to those that wait……… I’m learning once again that I’m worth it.
And so are you.