Fire and Determination

people doing marathon

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It’s been almost a month since I’ve written anything here, but that does not mean that I haven’t still been doing what needs to be done.   That might be why I haven’t been here.   June is a crazy month for most families especially when you have a High School aged child who graduated.    This makes for an even more hectic June, but an awesome one.

That being said, I am still sticking with the program.    For right now I have settled on the run 3 minutes walk 40 seconds balance.    It seems to be working nicely and I am making sure to start out immediately with this and not wait till I feel like I need it.   This is the way the program was designed and for good reasons because it works.

I am still in the beginning of my training and have not gone for any run longer than 5 miles, but that will change in the next couple of days.   Yesterday I did 5 miles.   It was actually a perfect day for running.   It was warm but not humid.   Even with walking, I completed 5 miles with an average pace of 11:33.    I do wonder if this is something that I will be able to keep as the miles increase, but again that is what training is for.

I’ve been doing most of my running alone.   Mostly because of schedule, but also by choice.   I ran into a fellow local MRTT runner last week.   It was a humid and hot day.   She helped me push my pace even though she was recovering from an epic race of her own.    I needed to walk more that day than my program called for.   It was hot and it was just one of those days.   I kept telling her to leave me as I didn’t want to mess her run up.   She stayed and we had a very nice chat.  I was happy to have her make the miles go by.

I’ll be honest.   Sometimes I need to run on my own.   I find it helps clear my mind.   I also have never minded running on my own.   When I was using my running coach, I did most of my training runs on my own because each run I had very specific goals and paces.   I do not now have these same issues, but I also am finding that there is a sense of embarrassment to run with others now.   I know it’s stupid.   I know they don’t care.   I know it’s in my head…. BUT it is also very real.

I know that everyone has their goals.    I know my friends will run with me and stay with me, but that may not be what they need.   That may not help them reach their goals.   It is one thing to go out for a leisure run with friends when you are not training for something,  but it is training time.

I also realize that although I have the desire to run the NYCM to the best of my ability, I do not have the fire that I may have once had.   It is not a bad thing.   I am not chasing any time or goal.   I am training to finish and enjoy the process.   One day I might have the fire and drive to compete for another PR, but this is not that time.    This might come from this year my goal for NY is about Sandy Hook Promise and not myself.  26 miles for 26 angels.

Now just because I say that I do not have fire, does not mean that I do not have drive.   These are 2 very separate things.   I have the will, desire, and determination to train, run, and complete the NYCM.    I also know that my body can and has run this distance before.   I am confident that I can get to the finish line again WTIH PROPER TRAINING.   I have the drive to make that happen.   I will not let my team down.

PS:  If you would like to donate to my Sandy Hook Promise fundraising page: https://www.crowdrise.com/o/en/campaign/sandy-hook-promise-foundation-nyc-2018/christinechaillet

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